I hate that I look so young!

LegacyUser

Ok this might seem like a strange problem to have but I am a 22yr old guy about to turn 23 soon and I look years younger than my age. I get told quite regularly by people that I only look about 18. I have even heard as young as 16 not too long ago. I act like a guy my age or even older so some people have even guessed my age to be more than it was but most people would definitely agree that I look way younger than I am. I have been told that I am a good looking guy and I do pretty well with girls. I get the whole cute thing a lot said about me (which just embarrasses me) and it tends to be younger girls that go after me than girls my own age. In fact I find it tough to meet girls my own age as I just feel more comfortable talking to girls who are like 2-3 years younger than me.

I see guys who are like 5 years younger than me all the time and who look way older than me and it sort of messes with my self esteem to be honest. I have always looked young for my age but just assumed that I would grow out of it. I look at people I have known since I was a kid and they have all changed a lot more than me. Some people have told me it is a compliment but I don't know if I want to stay looking really young through my mid-late 20's as I fear it will get embarrassing. I mean even now I feel a bit weird but if I am 26 and I look 21 or even younger then I think it will really affect my self esteem. Does this make any sense at all?
Thanks

Midnight_EG

Grow a beard, stubble even

colly10

You'll probably look better because of it in your mid to late 20's, it's not necessarily a bad thing. Only thing I can think of is if your small and skinny then if you eat a bit more and do weights to build across the shoulders then that will probably make you look a bit older.
It's a pain in the ass now but in a few years you'll probably be wishing you were still getting the 18 year olds

LegacyUser

Lol, I have tried the stubble thing but it doesn't work for me. Can't seem to get a proper growth going and no stubble is better than half grown stubble I think.

LegacyUser

Yeah I am pretty small framed and not tall so I think this plays a role in it also. But I have friends who are my size and look older. I think it is mostly my just my facial features are quite small. Like in a photograph on my own I can look my age but often if I am next to people, my face is usually a bit smaller in features so makes me look young.

fatjebus

god im 24 and how i'd long to look 18

Elessar

I feel your pain. I'm 24 and look about 17. It's horrible sometimes, because a lot of people don't take you seriously, thinking you're just a f*cking kid. And don't get me started on women, they all want older looking guys. I'm pretty much ignored by them in clubs. Well, the ones my own age anyway.

On the plus side however:

a) It'll stand to you when you're older
b) Research published in last weeks paper suggests people who look younger than their actual years on average live much longer than those who dont!

iguana

Elessar wrote: »

b) Research published in last weeks paper suggests people who look younger than their actual years on average live much longer than those who dont!

Well in laymans terms that seems to stand to reason and sort of suggests that we age slower? I've always looked young for my age and I didn't even start puberty until I was 15/16. Sure it used to be frustrating at times but long-term it's a benefit. Whereas the teenagers who look like they are in their 20s now might think it's great but wait until they are in their late 20s and look like they are pushing 40 while you'll be 30 and looking 25.

I'm sure this a tougher situation for men than for women, but trust me, in our youth obsessed culture you are at a massive advantage. Just look at David Mitchell and Robert Webb. Webb is two years older but looks at least 5/6 years younger. Who would you rather look like in your mid-30s?

Monkey61

I think you are being a bit ridiculous. A lot of people look younger than their age. 22 is young for God's sake. I am 26 now and probably wouldn't know the difference between a 22 year old and an 18 year old looks wise anyway.

I still get asked for ID constantly, even going to 16's films in the cinema sometimes. I have even been stopped in the airport twice and asked where my accompanying adult is - which means that I can look almost ten years younger than I actually am.

Bottom line though, there is nothing wrong, or unattractive about looking young for your age. And yes, you will be glad of it when you are 30. If you are clicking better with girls who are a few years younger than you - chances are that you are acting younger than your age and that could be putting off girls of your own age.

Plus you said yourself that you do well with girls, so I'm not really sure what the problem is. The fact that you think it will damage your self esteem terribly if you look 21 at 26 - well that's just a bit weird and is a sign of confidence issues that are far more deep rooted than just being about one physical trait. I have a feeling that anyone who obsesses over one aspect of their physicality only odes it because they are unhappy in themselves and would honestly find something to pick on even if it wasn't that - their height, nose, hairline.

Also just to add, most of the guys I know that looked a lot older when they were 18, 8 years later look awful. They are the ones with receding hairlines, wrinkles and such.

LegacyUser

Monkey61 wrote: »

I think you are being a bit ridiculous. A lot of people look younger than their age. 22 is young for God's sake. I am 26 now and probably wouldn't know the difference between a 22 year old and an 18 year old looks wise anyway.

I still get asked for ID constantly, even going to 16's films in the cinema sometimes. I have even been stopped in the airport twice and asked where my accompanying adult is - which means that I can look almost ten years younger than I actually am.

Bottom line though, there is nothing wrong, or unattractive about looking young for your age. And yes, you will be glad of it when you are 30. If you are clicking better with girls who are a few years younger than you - chances are that you are acting younger than your age and that could be putting off girls of your own age.

Plus you said yourself that you do well with girls, so I'm not really sure what the problem is. The fact that you think it will damage your self esteem terribly if you look 21 at 26 - well that's just a bit weird and is a sign of confidence issues that are far more deep rooted than just being about one physical trait. I have a feeling that anyone who obsesses over one aspect of their physicality only odes it because they are unhappy in themselves and would honestly find something to pick on even if it wasn't that - their height, nose, hairline.

Also just to add, most of the guys I know that looked a lot older when they were 18, 8 years later look awful. They are the ones with receding hairlines, wrinkles and such.

Yeah you make some strong points. I have pretty low self confidence and perhaps I am just putting it on my youthful appearance rather than other deeper issues. I often look at guys my own age who look a few years older and think 'wow they must think I look like a total child'. It is weird though because it is sort of a perceptional thing with people sometimes. For example I went in to a shop to buy cigarettes a few weeks back and the foreign worker behind the counter asked me for ID. I joked with him and decided I would test out just how young I look. His answer was that I looked 18 and I then got a second opinion from his co-worker who said I looked 21. We all had a good laugh over it and every time I call in to that shop now to buy things the guys always ask me for ID as a joke even if I am buying milk.

Also recently enough when I was in work, a couple approached me saying that they had a bet on of how old I was and that the girl had guessed as young as 16 while the guy said 21. They were from Denmark so I thought 'meh maybe they look older in Denmark' on average. Anyway its a pretty common theme in my life and I am sure I will have another encounter soon over my age. When I said I did well with girls, I think I have done ok but certianly not consistently. I would definitely not stand out in nite club's and I agree with what an earlier poster said about girls liking the older looking guys. I have always felt this to be the way. And while it is nice to get attention from younger girls every now and again, I just don't usually have much in common with them as they are only like 19 and usually haven't a whole lot of life experience as they are not out of school long.

I guess I should add that I am pretty mature for my age and have always hung out with people a few years older than me. So this just makes it a bit weird when chatting to a 19 year old sometimes. I think girls usually look a few years older than they actually are too so that makes it even harder. I look at some girls my age and think 'jesus, not in a million years would they be interested in me'. Anyway I should be grateful I suppose that I am getting any attention at all as some people have it a lot worse. Guess I wont have to worry about wrinkles for too long either.

entropi

OP, in a way it is a blessing trust me on this...i am 29 in a few weeks and am constantly mistaken for being 21 or 22 years old, always expect to be i.d. checked when going out but i dont mind. In my years to come, i'll be very happy to be the way i am and just to stick it in here, if you're concerned about your looks, women will pick up on it and then you lose all the opportunities! Keep the chin up eh:)

Karmafaerie

Just to add, as a soon to be 28 year old, who looks young for their age, it's a blessing.

If I'm clean shaven I look 22, at best.
And in saying that, I'm only just starting to finally develop proper facial hair now anyway!
I was asked if I had ID the other night, and found it hillaious.
The fact that I'm no longer in my mid-twenties is softened considerably by the fact that I look like I'm barely entering them!

bills

i have the same problem, 27 but look younger, could easily pass for 19.
I do find it annoying at times esp when dealing with people at work etc. sometimes i am sure they are surprised at my role as they think im younger- but i think your behaviour, actions & what you say will prove your real maturity.

Barracudaincork

Im 35 and got asked for ID a few months ago! The average age people put me at is 27-28, but they generally range from 25-30.

What it means to me, is
A: I get a good laugh at been asked for ID and even bigger laugh when they realise my age!
B: I can wear whatever i like, without mutton dressed as lamb comments!
C: I have received a "student" discount on a boattrip, even when i told them i dont have a student card!
I will be the youngest looking person in the old persons home!
E: I amaze strangers with my knowledge of events prior to 1985!
F: Last but by no means least, i attract both people the same age as me or younger!! Gotta love that!

OP, it does stink for you now that you look the age you do, but wait a few years and you will be shaking your head thinking about this post and what where you thinking. A multi billion dollar/euro industry is alive and well due to people who want to be like you, and look younger! You got it for free!

Stu77

Oh you lucky lucky lad. This is a Godsend in my opinion. I'm 32 and only look 25 and still get asked for I.D regularly but i always take it as a compliment, how could i not. I can go clubbing with much younger mates and the great thing is, they treat me like i'm 23 or 24 because i feel that age anyway and blend in with the younger crowd.

Mates of mine who are in their early 30's won't go to certain clubs because they feel like they are too old or will stand out or in other words "ARE PAST IT". If you look young, you'll feel younger and its great if your chatting to a girl 10 years younger than you and you know that shes thinking yous are both around the same age and is checking you out. Thats a great ego boost and something any man would give his right arm for as he approaches his 30's. Don't sweat it mate. Its all good.

dublin 16 lad

OP I'm the exact same except I'm 20 and look about 15/16

It's a bit annoying alright but the girls don't seem to mind and we'l be better off in the long run!

Try not to worry about it.We could have far worse problems in our lives than looking younger than we should:)

LegacyUser

Thanks guys, these replies have really made me feel better! I sort of have this "against the clock" mentality where I hate getting older and often feel that I need to be doing everything now rather than in years to come. This is stupid I know and I think the fact that I look so young will make it easier for me to do things when I am older that I want to do know. Anyway you are only as old as you feel and I still feel about 19 so I guess it is no harm that I still look it. Its weird when I see some of the people I went to school with and they all have proper jobs and dress in business clothes and look like 'growing ups' where as I still look like a teenager to a lot of people but to be honest I'm not ready for that whole look yet, if ever. As for the women, lol I will probably have to wait until I am 26 to try and pull the girls my age but what harm.

A quiet one

Just general advice for people who look too young.
And I speak as a guy who, at 35 was still asked for ID to prove I was over 21.

The biggest difficulties I encountered were on a business level (I had started my own business at the age of 24)
It's disgraceful how many people think the youth are there to be taken advantage off and if like me, you'll be seen as a youngster for a very long time.

What you need is to swot up on your rights, especially consumer rights and know your law in other common areas, such as driving and citizens rights. You need to know these well enough to assertively state them, to show you're not as young as you look;

And just as importantly, find yourself a solicitor, because there will be those times when you've exhausted every reasonable approach to sort out something and if you say that you have no choice left but to hand over the matter to your solicitor... then you had better have one for real, so you can also let the rip-off merchant know to expect to hear from.

Rubberlegs

Hi, it seems most replies to this are from fellas. Can sympathise with you, I was always the one asked for id or not let into the club as a teenager. Really annoyed me when younger friends got in as they looked older. Doesn't help that i'm barely scraping 5ft!! Was pregnant at 19 and my partner used to get filthy looks God love him! When I had my daughter I was 20, other women on ward asked how old I was. They had put me at about 14. 36 now and still cringe at times when am asked how old my girls are and its the whole oh my God you dont look old enough. Though I must say on the whole now I'm eventually beginning to appreciate looking younger, so i suppose that does come with getting older. So enjoy it, you will be glad when you're my age as cliched as it sounds. . . .