Pressure to stop breastfeeding

Storm_rages

Hi, not sure if i am looking for advice or just having a moan!

My baby boy is nearly 6 months, and my mum, mother in-law and a good couple of friends (some of who breast fed) keep asking me when am i stopping. Its got to the point when i am feeling unconfortable feeding him in front of others.

Is 6 months really the time society expects you to stop?

January

Feed as long as you see fit and don't listen to anyone else! Ignore them when they bring it up if you have to. I think society thinks it's time to give up when "maternity leave" ends...

Ickle Magoo

I think it depends on the society, I know mothers who are feeding pre-schoolers and those that feed for a couple of weeks and everything in between. Maybe just tell them you are aiming for the two year mark to shut them up?

Would your husband have a word with his mother and ask her to stop questioning? Maybe say to your friends that you have no immediate plans to give up breastfeeding and be honest that you feel funny about them asking? If they are good friends you should be able to have a chat about it.

How long you choose to breastfeed is for you to decide, don't feel pressured into doing anything you don't want. I think feeling uncomfortable is just one of those things you have to learn to ignore. My Dad used to talk to me while staring at a spot about 3 ft above my head whenever I was feeding, it does make you feel like an oddity but don't let that put you off. Best of luck.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Storm_rages wrote: »

Hi, not sure if i am looking for advice or just having a moan!

My baby boy is nearly 6 months, and my mum, mother in-law and a good couple of friends (some of who breast fed) keep asking me when am i stopping. Its got to the point when i am feeling unconfortable feeding him in front of others.

Is 6 months really the time society expects you to stop?

Firstly, tell them to fcuk off, as it is none of their business...

Secondly, look at this clip.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxv6R9fUO74

enry

adrieanne__x wrote: »

Feed as long as you see fit and don't listen to anyone else! Ignore them when they bring it up if you have to. I think society thinks it's time to give up when "maternity leave" ends...

I went to school with a bird that was breastfed until she was six years old and I’m telling you now she was never right. I was out with friends the other week and we are in our 30's and we were laughing about it, as sad as that is. We all agreed that it was child abuse.

yellowlabrador

Carry on breast feeding as long as you want to. I found it the easiest way to get my children to sleep or give them comfort after little upsets. Once they are on to 3 solid meals a day, it's only at bedtime and as i said for comfort when they are upset. I breastfed my 2 till the age of 2.

tudlytops

http://www.eufic.org/page/en/faqid/breast-feeding/

The best time to stop breastfeeding is when the mother and the baby are both ready. Breast-feeding on demand remains the ideal form of feeding for healthy babies who are born at term. Breast milk contains anti-bacterial and anti-infection agents, including immunoglobulins, which have an important role to play in boosting immunity.

The official recommendation is that exclusive breast feeding should continue until 6 months of age. After that some additional foods must be included but there is no reason why breast-feeding should not continue for as long as it is nutritionally and emotionally satisfactory for mother and child up to about 2 years of age. However with changing lifestyles breastfeeding may not always be possible and commercially prepared baby milk formulae are generally safe provided they are used under strict hygiene conditions. Formula-fed infants also need to be fed on demand and the formulae must be made up exactly according to the manufacturer's instructions for optimal growth. Special attention has to be taken to sterilise all the feeding equipment to reduce the potential risk of contamination, because formula-fed babies do not have the same degree of immunity as breast-fed babies.

deisemum

OP just ignore the comments. You will find over the years that there will always be people who like to pass comments based on their opinions and that's all they are opinions. At the moment you're getting the breastfeeding opinions, then you've got to look forward to the opinions on solids, childcare choices, temper tantrums, toilet training, behaviour, school etc.

FWIW the WHO (World Health Organisation) recommend breastfeeding up to 2 years of age.

I breastfed my lads until the first lad was 6 months old and I returned to work and my second lad until he was 15 months. They're now 14 and 12 years old and it's years since they've seen a doctor for any illness apart from A&E for fractures. They don't even know what their GP looks like, I cannot even recall the last time they saw her but it's years.

When I had my lads there were far less people breastfeeding compared to now. Initially I was humoured but once I fed past a couple of months I got all the comments. The most outstanding one was from my own mother who told me that if my older lad saw me breastfeeding my 2nd lad that he'd end up gay. :eek:

BTW I'm a childminder and currently mind babies that are breastfed so it is very doable when mums return to work and can time feeds or express, just in case you get that excuse thrown at you as a reason to stop breastfeeding.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2azpWMs0GlI

nesf

Storm_rages wrote: »

Hi, not sure if i am looking for advice or just having a moan!

My baby boy is nearly 6 months, and my mum, mother in-law and a good couple of friends (some of who breast fed) keep asking me when am i stopping. Its got to the point when i am feeling unconfortable feeding him in front of others.

Is 6 months really the time society expects you to stop?

Meh, just give them 12 months or 2 years as your target and they'll stop asking most likely. It could just be curiosity on their part rather than pressure to stop perhaps?

Joey the lips

Azariah Colossal Grouch wrote: »

Firstly, tell them to fcuk off, as it is none of their business...

Secondly, look at this clip.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxv6R9fUO74

As many have said i think it's no one's business but your own.

I dont agree with this video. In fact I wonder if there could be any more on the subject so will look.

I think the time to stop is a combination of when you want to stop and rec times when nothing can be gained. For example the who guidelines state 2 years of age.

For example I cannot see what the kids are gaining in the video that they are not going to gain by eating a solid meal

ps: it seems my bias may be incorrect.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdEN8nKWA4E

nesf

Joey the lips wrote: »

As many have said i think it's no one's business but your own.

I dont agree with this video. In fact I wonder if there could be any more on the subject so will look.

I think the time to stop is a combination of when you want to stop and rec times when nothing can be gained. For example the who guidelines state 2 years of age.

For example I cannot see what the kids are gaining in the video that they are not going to gain by eating a solid meal

From my understanding of it and from the fact that other mammals tend to wean their young quite early, there would be next to no benefit for an 8 year old or similar to be breastfed. There are benefits especially from 0-6 months, and to 12 or 24 months (depending on which source you're looking at and what effect you're considering) but I've seen no evidence put forward for continuing past 2 years as being beneficial nutritionally). It is indeed an area where it's no one's business but the family's but I really struggle to look at that video and not think it's been taken too far.

Short version of most studies I've read on this:

0-6 months: Exclusively breastfeed where possible, definite benefits shown fairly uncontroversially with literally almost all experts agreeing on breastfeeding to 6 months as being the best for your child assuming you can breastfeed them.

6-12 months: Some benefits appear to be there but data is less clear on this for a variety of factors (mainly: 0-6 months we're comparing all bottle milk versus all breast milk, after solids are introduced then you're going to have a fairly wide variation in how both formula and breastfed kids are fed and this makes it harder to do clean comparisons so we'd expect to find it harder to prove benefits in this age group). Most medical advisory groups I've seen recommend going to 12 months at least if you are able, so little disagreement on the subject.

12+ months: Divided opinion to an extent on how necessary it is starts to appear (i.e. whether we should tell women to breastfeed longer or leave it up to themselves to decide when to wean, versus 0-6 months where the benefits are so clear that we should tell them to breastfeed). There's nothing wrong with breastfeeding your child for longer, so if you want to go for it but the American Academy of Pediatrics for instance recommend only to 12 months and then after only if the mother and child want versus 0-6 months where they strongly recommend exclusive breastfeeding. The WHO in contrast recommend trying for 24 months if you can. Some disagreement here, honestly if you've gotten to 12 months of breastfeeding wean when you and your child want to (not a medical opinion!).

silverharp

My wife breastfed ours up to 2 years. My memory is fading now but probably didnt do it in public after 9mths, also the frequency reduces due to them switching over to solids anyway.
OP once you are both enjoying it then keep it up, you'll have to get used to ignoring advice which in many cases tends to be outdated.

Storm_rages

Thanks for the posts everyone, the videos made me spluter my corn flakes across the room .

But it has got me thinking..

When do babies stop getting any thing else out of breast milk, i know the world health org says its at 2 but is the line used to try and keep people in 3rd world countries where dirty water is a problem, breast feeding? Once they are eatting solids do they get all they need from that?

And the truth is i'm not quite ready to be a breast feeding social out cast! i don't fancy sitting in a resturant and making random stangers unconfortable and i think my friends and family are trying to say that is reaching that time. (it is my own business but sadly i live in a world with lots of other people in it!)

On the other hand, i want my son to get all the benifits, i have been luckly and not had much problem breast feeding and it is enjoyable...(expressing is an option but it is a real pain to do it all the time)..

thanks for all the feedback anyway...

neeb

The WHO recommends exclusive breastfeeding until 6 months and the with solids until at least 2. This is misinterpreted in Ireland as lash the baby on formula at 6 months.

There are lots of reasons to feed until the child is older but its not as critical.
1. It is still better nutritionaly than cows milk. The nutrients in it are designed for a 6 month old, 1 year old etc
2. It still protects from disease which is important as the child grows and goes out and about more
3. Its less likely to cause or make allergies worse
4. etc etc. Most of the benefits of breastmilk are still relevant after 6 months.

Its another urban myth that breastmilk is inferior to formula at 6 months.

Feed away, nobodies business except you, DH and the baby.

neeb

Storm_rages wrote: »

When do babies stop getting any thing else out of breast milk, i know the world health org says its at 2 but is the line used to try and keep people in 3rd world countries where dirty water is a problem, breast feeding? The third world idea is another myth about breastfeeding, third world babies need breastmilk because the water is bad but formula is fine here. Its not true, just another justification for not breastfeeding. Breastmilk is still better than cows milk or other substitutes at 2 years of age. Anyway the water here is not great either...
Once they are eatting solids do they get all they need from that?
They need full fat milk of some form until they are 2 or 3 I think (most would be on cows milk after a year until formula invented toddler formula:rolleyes:). Breastmilk is still the best option but its not as critical for a healthy child as when they are newborn

won't let me post for some reason so adding in text below the quote Hi everyone!!!

neeb

Storm_rages wrote: »

And the truth is i'm not quite ready to be a breast feeding social out cast! i don't fancy sitting in a resturant and making random stangers unconfortable and i think my friends and family are trying to say that is reaching that time. (it is my own business but sadly i live in a world with lots of other people in it!)

As they get older you don't have to feed them so often and can just give them solids when you are out and about. If you don't mind the mess....

..Summergirl..

My baby girl in nearly 7 month old and i don't think I'd give up to bf now either. BF as long as you can carry on but i think as more baby getting older the more harder to stop bf. I BF all my 4 kids, 3 th baby i BF till nearly two years and i think i should have stopped earlier because my baby was dragging for the breast everywhere and it's hard to stop BF when baby is getting older, you know what i mean? Undoubtedly there are so many advantages of BF, no need to do bottles at night, i personally have came back to my normal weight from 95 kg to 68 kg and it's 4th baby! As well while you're BF baby less catching an infections. Good luck with your BF and do what your heart tells you to do.

January

enry wrote: »

I went to school with a bird that was breastfed until she was six years old and I’m telling you now she was never right. I was out with friends the other week and we are in our 30's and we were laughing about it, as sad as that is. We all agreed that it was child abuse.

Child abuse in your opinion though, doesn't mean it is actually child abuse. It's a comfort thing at that point I think... you know the way some babies get addicted to soothers (and you often see kids of 5/6 with soothers still)? Well some children get addicted to the comfort of the boob.

It's just a lot easier for the mammies to continue breastfeeding than it is to wean them off and have a terrible time with tantrums etc (I'm not saying it's the right thing to do, I'm just saying that it really is up to the individual when to stop).

About making people uncomfortable, there are feeding rooms in most of the major shopping centres these days so you could always pop to one of these when baby wants a feed and do it in privacy if that is your wish.

AbigailE

My sister breastfed till her daughter was one ( she weaned herself) She had a lot of comments made about it but too which is disgraceful , I think the people that make the comments are the ones who are afraid to even try or dont want to 'ruin' their bodies

nesf

Storm_rages wrote: »

When do babies stop getting any thing else out of breast milk, i know the world health org says its at 2 but is the line used to try and keep people in 3rd world countries where dirty water is a problem, breast feeding? Once they are eatting solids do they get all they need from that?

Somewhere between 12 months and 2 years they stop getting "extra benefits" from breast milk nutritionally, depending on who you ask. There's no real absolute consensus because it's so hard to measure. I think personally (as a parent) you could stop at 12 months and not feel in the slightest big guilty about it.

Grawns

I'm probably gong to ease off at 12 months as I want to get her sleeping throught the night. She's 11 months in 2 days and was exclusively breastfed until 6 months and then I introduced solids.
Nowadays she barely stays still to eat ( she has been known to bite) and thus wants to catch up on feeding in the middle of the night.:( She's been walking for a month now and wants action all the time.

Your little one will be on solids soon and you won't know yourself and people will probably stop noticing and commenting on your breastfeeding. I spent 6 months with Bridget attached to my breasts. Didn't give a sh*te what anyone thought. Good for you!