ex texting already

elliebe

so im just putting this out there to see if anyone has been in a similar position as me though i doubt it. My ex moved out today after 10 years living together and having been together as a couple for 17 years.He was seeing somebody else who had previously tried to break us up about nine years ago, she almost succeded at that time but he choose me. Apparently she has been texting him in the intervening period looking for him to hook up with her and he rejected it on each occasion until about three months ago when we were going though sticky patch ad this time he contacted her and they have been seeing each other since then behind my back. I had met her the last tiem this happened and she told me that as soon as she saw him the first time that she was determined to have him, he was new to the area. Anyway I found out about the goings on and this time and cinfronted him, he admitted that he was seeing her and that he was in love with her but also still in love with me.I told him I wasnt playing second fiddle to any one else and that he should go .He has moved in with her today and then he send me a text message asking me howi am and that he misses me. Do I respond or not , I am still deeply in love with him and he was my first and only love.

YellowSheep

Hi. I would not text back. Let him stew. Cheers Oliver

elliebe

thanks good to hear a mans point of view on it,

DubLass

It's a real case of him having his cake....... You're well rid of the cheating snake!

dolliemix

They deserve each other. Thats awful. I wouldn't text back. Infact to make things easier in the long run delete his number and any texts he sends you immediately. You should let him stew. You will obviously have to get in touch with him again if he has stuff in your house etc. So give his number to a trusted relation/friend and tell them to look after it for you cos you'll probably need it again in about two weeks or whatever. Everything from here on in should be done on your terms when you are ready

To send you a mere text after ten years - he's a d**khead.

He'll do to that girl what he's been doing to you and she will get her karma

Firetrap

Yes, ignore the text. What good will texting him do anyway? Salve his guilty conscience?

To be honest, he sounds like one of those people who wants to have their cake and eat it. He cheated on you and chose this other woman over you. You are the one who's got to deal with the fallout and to move on. I don't think staying in contact with him will help you one bit.

tinkerbell

Ignore him, he's a jerk and you deserve better.

Djuret

Wow, that's terrible. What an ass, and what a bitch he hooked up with. I'd text him back and tell him to go feck himself.

starchild

agree with the other posters, ignore the text, he lost any right to automatically hear back from you when he left.

I applaud your courage in putting yourself first and refusing to play second fiddle.

How are you coping yourself

elliebe

Not so good really , we have a 21 year old daughter as well , we will all be living in small rural setting visiting the same shops pubs etc , know many of the same people and it is going to be a nightmare going out even to the shop and as far as even trying to go out in the area is concerned i cant even contemplate it at the moment.

tinkerbell

elliebe wrote: »

Not so good really , we have a 21 year old daughter as well , we will all be living in small rural setting visiting the same shops pubs etc , know many of the same people and it is going to be a nightmare going out even to the shop and as far as even trying to go out in the area is concerned i cant even contemplate it at the moment.

Did I read that wrong? You have a 21 yr old daughter? I thought you were together for 17 yrs??

starchild

elliebe wrote: »

Not so good really , we have a 21 year old daughter as well , we will all be living in small rural setting visiting the same shops pubs etc , know many of the same people and it is going to be a nightmare going out even to the shop and as far as even trying to go out in the area is concerned i cant even contemplate it at the moment.

thats pretty tough alright, i think that while there will be the usual gossip mongers hungry for info most people will be genuinely sympathetic to your situation.

make sure that you have someone that you can talk to or confide in so that everything is not bottled up. I know that right now its a huge shock but once the initial few days are over with try and establish a routine so that you have things to occupy your mind.

I really hope you will be ok and wish you all the best

elliebe

we were together 23 years ago and split up for a hile so i didnt include that in the equation

How Strange

OP, you will have to keep in contact with him for your daughters sake; there will be times when the two of you will have to attend events etc for her. There may also be legal things to sort out over the next few months.

However, it seems your OH was a spineless coward. It didn't take much for him to jump out of your bed and into another one.

He doesn't deserve your friendship so I'd advise for your own sake to cut day to day contact. You'll obviously be quite raw about this breakup and it might not hit you for a while so the best thing you can do for your own sanity is to avoid any texting etc with him.

LegacyUser

OP, I am sorry to hear that you are hurting....

Dont reply to him. He is trying to keep all his options open. In fact I would send every text he sends you along those lines to his new woman who also sounds like a nasty piece of work.

You dont owe this guy anything other than to be civil to him, mainly for your daughters sae, at any functions you need to go to...

Best of luck. You are well rid.

jenga-jen

Elliebe, so sorry to hear what happened.

I'd have to agree with the other posters and say ignore him! It sounds suspiciously like he's the type of person who likes the attention, since he rejected but didn't stop the texts over the years and even now, when he's with this other....woman [i'll keep it clean]... he still wants your attention!

Leave him to it in the hope that at some stage he'll get what's coming to him [karma-wise now, not in any other sense!]

As for the setting you're living in, keep your chin up. You've done nothing wrong and if anyone should be hanging their head in shame or feeling uncomfortable locally it's the pair of them.

Good luck.

Clueless09

no way do not text him back-he sounds like a piece of work.
As for her, now that she has him, im sure she'll get bored of him sooner or later. Karma will sort them both.
Hope u are ok xx