Never Happy

LegacyUser

So this will sound weird but I am going off the record for this one

Ever since I have been young I havnt been a very happy person, its not my parents fault they were great and I have a loving relationship with them. The issue is for me nothing I ever do is good enough, I became a Electrician since I didnt bother in school, then I became a Engineer after that. I though been a success would make me happy but it doesnt.

I did consulling once & they made me worst, I find it better to bury my emotions in general, my friends dad died a few months ago and tbh I didnt really care. I dont know why I am like this and it kinda disturbs me. My father was in hospital for a few weeks and I didnt bother going to see him.

Whats up with me, I feel dead inside. The only time I am happy is when I am dancing and that only happens on weekends. During the weeks I spend my time researching trying my field of expertise trying to make myself better/the best but I cant be the best in my eyes.After a few hours I burn out I just sit at my computer reading and research world affairs & poltics trying to understand whats going on in the world. To woman I am very loving in the sense I hug them, cuddle and that feels great but I rather not base my happiness on another person.

Am I ****ed ? (im a guy)

LegacyUser

Hi Wondering,


No your not fu....ed, repressing emotions can be bad for you though, because if you bury everything down your body will need to find some way to release it and it can come out negatively in destructive ways, it can be the cause of depression also, ive heard it called anger turned in.

I personally feel that how you deal with your emotions is connected to how you have seen your family deal with emotions too, like you may have seen other men in your family or surroundings deal with their emotions in a bottled up way.... like 'be a solider', 'dont cry' kind of attitude,

But what you are experiencing is very common, it is just a coping mechanism for you right now, the reason someone suggested the counseling was so that you could try and talk the bent up emotion out of you, councilinlig is prob the most effective way to work through emotional issues, but you have to feel like you want to go, if you dont right now i would suggest getting some books and info to help you understand yourself and how you are feeling or not feeling!

You dont have to be afraid that someone is going to force you to cry and get all mushy! Do it your own way and what i would suggest is becoming aware of yourself and how you are, like just understanding yourself for now is the first step in working through it, try to become aware of the negative voice in your head, watch how you talk to yourself are you saying, good stuff like fair play to you, dont worry you'll do better next time, or are you saying you feckin egitt you cant do anything right, your a dope? its called the negative chatter in your head,

Here is the master of awareness, his books are amazing best sellers and can really help you find many answers, check him out you might like him....... Eckhart Tolle Interview...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miEpngZshDw