facebook: why is this bothering me?

LegacyUser

Ok I know this is very trivial compare to some of the real problems here but its still wrecking my head.

There is a girl I meet from time to time who is friends with other friends. I dont know her that well at all and when I mean meet I literally just mean that. We just have a bit of a laugh and a chat so its fair to say we barely know each other.
Now a good female friend of mine told me she reckoned she was into me. Now she is an attractive girl but for some reason Im not crazy about her which is weird because I can see no flaw in her if you get me. And besides that doesnt matter because I wouldnt always trust my friends view on it either. She could be completely wrong, and it seems she was this time.

A few weeks ago I added her as a friend on facebook. I have had other people add me in the same way and I didnt think it was weird or anything. Anyway she has not accepted me. I know shes been using it because it comes up in my home page that 'she is now friends with bla bla',etc (doesnt make facebook very private does it)

So Why is this bothering me?? I was never even into her that much and now its wrecking my head she didn't accept me. She might just like to use facebook for her good friends which is fair enough so I dont know why this is annoying me so much.

Every time I log in now I check to see has she added me which is ridiculous. Would it look sad if i removed me 'friend request' at this stage?

She has probably pressed ignore anyway but if she didnt it would look weird?

The embarrassing thing about all this is my age. You'd swear I was in my teens, were in our mid 20s lol. I thought Id grown out of all this carry on.

Nevyn

Some people only use face book with close friends or with family, I don't add just anyone esp there are pics of my kids up there. If you like her ask her out for a coffee and don't be getting tied up cos she didn't want to add you to her facebook. She doens't have to it's her online space and she can connect to whom she want under her own criteria.

LegacyUser

fair point, I know and appreciate all that. Thats why im so confused as to why this is bothering me. It makes me wonder do I have some sort of insecurity or something , like I said, im not even into her that much at all at all. I wished I hadnt even made the request now.

Thanks anyway

G-Money

I've occasionally added people as friends on Facebook and noticed they didn't respond to the friend request. Maybe it's just me though but I'm often not that bothered about friendships so if I notice they haven't approved me, I say nothing and I just rescind the friend request.

I'm not really one of these people who will beg and hang on and hope against hope to be friends with someone. If I try and they don't respond, I really don't give two f***s and it wouldn't bother me if I never spoke to them again.

Just rescind the friend request and let that be the end of it.

LegacyUser

facebookfriend wrote: »

....
A few weeks ago I added her as a friend on facebook. I have had other people add me in the same way and I didnt think it was weird or anything. Anyway she has not accepted me. I know shes been using it because it comes up in my home page that 'she is now friends with bla bla',etc (doesnt make facebook very private does it)

I didn't think the activities of non-friends would show up on your home page. Or is it that she is being friended by people who are your friends and it is their activity you are seeing?
Sorry to ask the obvious but where are you checking to see if she has added you? Have you checked your list of friends or just checked to see if the friending was noted as sometime fb has glitches and things don't show up.

LegacyUser

facebookfriend:
She is in my 'connections' as a friend but it says beside her name "pending request approval" or something to that effect, and the option to the right is that I can remove my request which I will do.
About her coming up in my home section, yea I found that weird too. I shouldnt have been updated with who shes becoming friends with when Im neither her friend or the person she became friends with. I have a feeling its a bit of a glitch in facebook. So let that be a lesson to people , bit of privacy lost there.

grandmaster: I think ill take your advice and just take away my friendship request in case she has it still sitting there. It just might look a bit sad. as if Im saying "fine be like that" if ya get me , but id prefer not be checking has she accepted me yet.

I know this whole thing is trivial but it was just bothering me for some reason. I have to admit if it was a random bloke I was chatting to I probably wouldn't care so maybe I like her more than I realise.

tenchi-fan

She's obvious not that nice if she ignored a friend request. You should definitely play it cool with her next time you see her.

The politics of facebook though! I tend to add people Im not really friends with and it does put me out a bit when they don't accept. But what I didn't realise is that when I subsequently remove people from friends, some people don't even notice when others come up to me and say "er, why did you delete me."

This might sound a bit geeky but why don't you get their permission before you add them? Like if you're chatting to someone about someone you know in common say "oh they're on my facebook page" or if you're talking about a funny video or website you could say "i'll send you the link, are you on facebook?" That way she won't be thinking "er how did this guy find me.. he must have searched for me.. what a freak."

tenchi-fan

facebookfriend wrote: »

facebookfriend:

About her coming up in my home section, yea I found that weird too. I shouldnt have been updated with who shes becoming friends with when Im neither her friend or the person she became friends with. I have a feeling its a bit of a glitch in facebook. So let that be a lesson to people , bit of privacy lost there.

It's not a breach of privacy. The info appearing on your feed is publicly available anyway (or available to friends or friends or networks). If you don't want the info appearing you can click "hide"