I hate this time of year

iguana2005 · 30-12-2009 6:40pm #1

am so bloody depressed...weather is ****E..all the 'couples' and happy people are getting ready for tomorrw night(NYE) after having an amazing xmas where they got engagement rings and flights to Europe..its such a lonely time and cant stop thinking about every negative thing about my life(and thats a LOT)..

Yawn...and if one more person says to me January and February are going to be the toughest I'll head bop them..

Any one else feeling the same? Any tips to oovercome?

Denerick · 30-12-2009 7:04pm

iguana2005 wrote: »

am so bloody depressed...weather is ****E..all the 'couples' and happy people are getting ready for tomorrw night(NYE) after having an amazing xmas where they got engagement rings and flights to Europe..its such a lonely time and cant stop thinking about every negative thing about my life(and thats a LOT)..

Yawn...and if one more person says to me January and February are going to be the toughest I'll head bop them..

Any one else feeling the same? Any tips to oovercome?

I don't think you're depressed in the slightest, that word is severely overused. I can introduce you to people who'd show you the meaning of the word

I think you're just jaded when coming across people in succesful relationships. Its extremely natural and I'm in the same boat. I get over it by being passive aggressive on the internet and honing my superiority complex.

krudler · 30-12-2009 7:21pm

iguana2005 wrote: »

am so bloody depressed...weather is ****E..all the 'couples' and happy people are getting ready for tomorrw night(NYE) after having an amazing xmas where they got engagement rings and flights to Europe..its such a lonely time and cant stop thinking about every negative thing about my life(and thats a LOT)..

Yawn...and if one more person says to me January and February are going to be the toughest I'll head bop them..

Any one else feeling the same? Any tips to oovercome?

Irish begrudgery at its finest tbh, stop whinging about people who are happy and do something about your own problems (none of which you've mentioned here btw) instead of blaming other people for your position in life,its one of the best times of year to go out and socialise if you're feeling lonely, people are generally in a much better mood when out and out and its festive and close to the new year, its easy to talk to strangers and meet new people at this time of year

Denerick · 30-12-2009 7:30pm

krudler wrote: »

Irish begrudgery at its finest tbh, stop whinging about people who are happy and do something about your own problems (none of which you've mentioned here btw) instead of blaming other people for your position in life,its one of the best times of year to go out and socialise if you're feeling lonely, people are generally in a much better mood when out and out and its festive and close to the new year, its easy to talk to strangers and meet new people at this time of year

I think you missed your calling in life. What a fine therapist you'd make.

krudler · 30-12-2009 7:42pm

Denerick wrote: »

I think you missed your calling in life. What a fine therapist you'd make.

Well the op didnt say anything about his/her own problems, just complained that other people have it better than them because they're happy,the bastards.also i'm sick of hearing people say they're "depressed", the op isnt depressed, they're bitter, theres a huge difference

Denerick · 30-12-2009 7:51pm

krudler wrote: »

Well the op didnt say anything about his/her own problems, just complained that other people have it better than them because they're happy,the bastards.also i'm sick of hearing people say they're "depressed", the op isnt depressed, they're bitter, theres a huge difference

I don't disagree with you necessarily, I just think you're being a bit harsh. You don't know anything about her real life situation so you're taking a few liberties too many by calling her bitter. I don't think she is depressed, judging by what she typed, but I don't think its fair to say all the things that you said about her, without knowing anything whatsoever about her.

dellas1979 · 30-12-2009 8:03pm

Hahahaha havent heard that one before "Ill head bop ya".

Will you be out tomorrow night? Single people and moderately (not overly) happy people can go out too I hear

Shur isnt that what a couple is being all about - you just dont get to see the fighting behind closed doors so it all looks ideal and snug and cosy.

You seem to have a good sense of humour - and that is one of the most important things IMO when everything seems like its going wrong.

And look, its 2010 in a day - can you say "feck 2009 and Ill try again in 2010?"

mr_edge_to_you · 30-12-2009 8:17pm

you can be in a relationship and go tomorrow night and enjoy it but that doesn't mean you are not worrying about getting to the end of February. God, we're all in the same boat. I have a fantastic partner but that means we'll both be worrying about every other aspect to life outside of our relationship.

Eve_Dublin · 30-12-2009 8:54pm

iguana2005 wrote: »

am so bloody depressed...weather is ****E..all the 'couples' and happy people are getting ready for tomorrw night(NYE) after having an amazing xmas where they got engagement rings and flights to Europe..its such a lonely time and cant stop thinking about every negative thing about my life(and thats a LOT)..

Yawn...and if one more person says to me January and February are going to be the toughest I'll head bop them..

Any one else feeling the same? Any tips to oovercome?

Agreed. It's a crappy time of year Iguana but I believe a lot of it is psychological as it is for me too. Can't you try and change your frame of mind and see the New Year as a fresh start? Get a big piece of paper out, write down all the things you're not happy with followed by solutions on how to change them? New Years Resolutions if you will. They say nobody sticks to them but that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy for all....but someone must stick to them. I'm really going to give mine a go this year (I've been working on them the past 2 weeks)...I haven't put down anything I know I won't stick to like go to the gym everyday because if I didn't, I'd be beating myself up after.

Like yourself, a few of my friends have got engaged or are getting married this year and that's great for them...but this is not the be-all and end-all of what happiness is about. On a personal level, I've still got my freedom and don't have to fork out every spare penny I have on an overpriced wedding. Happy days! As someone else said, you have to have a sense of humour about this time of year...time is a man-made concept based on some made-up Roman Calendar that was created to pay taxes on time....the next 2 months are no different to any other except by name....and February is the first month of Spring!

dollydimples82 · 30-12-2009 9:55pm

iguana2005 wrote: »

am so bloody depressed...weather is ****E..all the 'couples' and happy people are getting ready for tomorrw night(NYE) after having an amazing xmas where they got engagement rings and flights to Europe..its such a lonely time and cant stop thinking about every negative thing about my life(and thats a LOT)..

Yawn...and if one more person says to me January and February are going to be the toughest I'll head bop them..

Any one else feeling the same? Any tips to oovercome?

i feel the same as you, its a happy time for families and couples, yet i am single it makes you feel out of place like 2 is company, 3 is a crowd. I am not begruging them just wish i had someone to share times like this, prehaps Iguana is shy when your shy its hard to just walk up to someone and start talking. i much rather slip into the background and wait until someone talks to me first. as for the negative stuff in your life i just try and tell myself "it can only get better", i never expect too much to come out of anything and that way i am never too disappointed;)

laura29 · 31-12-2009 2:45am

but the op has a right to feel this way at the "family festive! time of year , im a mother of 2 on my own and feel the same way , its S""T at xmas bein alone and thats the be all and end all of it , family movies , love stories etc etc , its the one time of year they really drill it home that your alone !! i wouldnt say im depressed at xmas just that i dont enjoy xmas without my other half and the people in my life that have passed hopefully my other half will be home next year so u express urself hun , theres many of us that hate the festive bull s _it , cause imo thats all it is BULLS_IT roll on 2010 happy new year all xx

Danniboo · 31-12-2009 7:42am

krudler wrote: »

Well the op didnt say anything about his/her own problems, just complained that other people have it better than them because they're happy,the bastards.

Ha, you sound like my bf. OP stop being such a Negative Nancy, write a list of things you want to accomplish in 2010 and go out there and start doing them. Join a club or something anything to meet new people and start doing something. Relationships are not = happiness. I've been extremely happy been single, i've been p****d off while single. I've been miserable in relationships, i've been head over heels so happy in love I thought my head would explode. There's more to life than relationships.

Danniboo · 31-12-2009 7:45am

laura29 wrote: »

but the op has a right to feel this way at the "family festive! time of year , im a mother of 2 on my own and feel the same way , its S""T at xmas bein alone and thats the be all and end all of it , family movies , love stories etc etc , its the one time of year they really drill it home that your alone !! i wouldnt say im depressed at xmas just that i dont enjoy xmas without my other half and the people in my life that have passed hopefully my other half will be home next year so u express urself hun , theres many of us that hate the festive bull s _it , cause imo thats all it is BULLS_IT roll on 2010 happy new year all xx

What a crock of s****e. My mam is a single parent and we've always enjoyed Christmas, she loves spending time on her own and also with her family. You can't make such sweeping statements, it depends on the person. Do you honestly believe that all single parents are depressed and miserable, nonsense.

krudler · 31-12-2009 11:31am

Danniboo wrote: »

What a crock of s****e. My mam is a single parent and we've always enjoyed Christmas, she loves spending time on her own and also with her family. You can't make such sweeping statements, it depends on the person. Do you honestly believe that all single parents are depressed and miserable, nonsense.

+1 on this, my sister is a single parent and she loves christmas

COYW · 31-12-2009 1:57pm

Cheer up iguana2005. Christmas and new year to a lesser extent has this image of being a wonderful time for all but in truth its a horribly time of year for a surprising large amount of people. (Homeless, people with sick family or recently departed family members). Relationships have many down sides. By tea time tomorrow many of those couples will be practically tearing each others hair out.

You should take a second to think of all the good things in your life. As Danniboo says, relationship arent the be all and end all of life. Unfortunately for singles, christmas is a time of year when it can be awkward. Far more so that Valentines in my opinion.

This time tomorrow it all be over, the couples will be fighting again and you can stroll off and do whatever you want to do, without a care in the world.

LegacyUser · 31-12-2009 2:22pm

hi op,i have to say i feel EXACTLY the same way as you. i think new years is the most overrated day of the year! there are alot of posters saying here it's no big deal, and that you shouldn't feel as you do, but it is easier said than done. its 2pm on new years eve and i know what most of my friends are doing tonight, and sadly most of them have decided its overrated and they are going to stay in, i would like to do the same but my flat mate is haveng a house party. as fun as that sounds, its going to be about 8 couples so i don't really want to be there on my own. the friends i know who are staying in, and not staying on their own, but with theie partners. if you're single this time of year, it easy for others to say relationships aren't the be-all and end-all, but they're not the ones thinking a bit of company would be nice. as happy as i am for my friends, when i hear of another wedding next year its another single supplement on a room, another present to be bought on my own, or as a third wheel.
When people are in a relatioship they'll be the first to tell you its no big deal, and its not that great, but at the end of the day, even if they are going through a bad patch, they are going through it together.
great i'm single, i can go off for a weekend when ever i want, but its not as much fun when you have no one to share it with, and new years is just a big reminder! So not only do i completely understand where you are coming from, i can say that there is nothing anyone can say to make you feel better.
for me new years is a reminder not to give up. The photography course and cooking course i did this year, as much as i enjoyed them, i still didn't meet any single people even to hang out with so this year i am going to try hillwalking, maybe next year new years won't be so lonely. I have to believe something, otherwise i'll be fecked!

ladywithtoydog · 31-12-2009 6:46pm

trying to agree with everyone that New Years Eve is overrated, as I'll be staying in alone tonight and cant help thinking that its "New Years Eve and I'm staying in alone tonight!"
I have some options to go to but really don't feel motivated to act happy and excited that its new years, and there is a lot of pressure to act positive which only seems to encourage me to focus on the negative aspects my life. I just cant wait for it to be over! anyone else staying in alone tonight? what will you do? dont even have tv which makes me feel even further removed from society!

robd55 · 31-12-2009 7:28pm

Yeah agree it is overstated will be staying in but the feeling aaaggghh another New Years on my own again hard to shake thanfully its only one night though!

dory · 31-12-2009 7:45pm

A lot of people are staying in tonight alone, myself included.
I agree with whoever said this is the worst time of the year, at least at Christmas you're expected to be with parents etc. New Years is for friends/lovers. My only advice would be to do something constructive tonight. I'm going to build a website while everyone else is drinking. TV will only make you feel worse.

ladywithtoydog · 31-12-2009 7:50pm

dory wrote: »

I'm going to build a website while everyone else is drinking. TV will only make you feel worse.

brilliant! i might try do the same, have been meaning to for ages. good luck anyways

dory · 31-12-2009 8:07pm

ladywithtoydog wrote: »

brilliant! i might try do the same, have been meaning to for ages. good luck anyways

You're gonna make one too?? Good job! You can show us what you make later.
Screw New Years.
And I would especially like to 'screw' the people who tell single people to look at the brightside and all that. It's like telling a depressed person to snap out it.
Whatever attached people say, I don't know a single one of them spending this evening alone (who are not in LDR or something).

LegacyUser · 31-12-2009 10:09pm

dory wrote: »

New Years is for friends/lovers. .

are you saying you have no friends either?. Not to be smart but you said friends/lovers
I could go for a pint with a mate but am not going out walking in that cold, have had enough of it, - and had drink so wont drive

LegacyUser · 31-12-2009 10:17pm

I am staying in tonight as well but not by choice. If I had the option of going out somewhere I like with people I like I would but I don't so I have to face facts.
I am just not popular with people. I have about three close friends, two are married and the other lives in London with his g'friend. I am single as you have guessed.
I had the option of making friends earlier in life but didn't take it. I hate myself and the way I am now. Nights like New Year's Eve make me feel even worse. I try to blow it off and say it's no big deal but it does hurt, every year when this night it comes around and I am on my own again after promising myself this time last year I wouldn't be.
The worst thing is I'll have to make up a pack of lies at work next week about where I was tonight and what a great time I had.
Not just not having a girlfriend but just friends would be nice. nobody to blame but myself but I have to keep trying to change it.

31-12-2009 11:06pm

The lesson to learn is, don't make friendships/relationships the centre of your life. there is really no need to try too hard.

A relationship was once my goal, my new years resolution, my ambition if you like, and the more i made of it the less likely it became. When i stepped back from it and didn't give a fly*ng ****. i met someone, it only lasted 10 months and while i was devastated at the breakup it also made me believe that if i can meet one nice person i can meet another. Acceptance of who you are is the key and when you least expect to you'll meet someone. If on the other hand you prefer singularity, then perfect. why not. embrace it its a gift. Your content with life and the way things are. and that's the only way your life will change.

LegacyUser · 01-01-2010 12:07am

Well its 2010 happy new year everyone inc the mod who hopefully approve this

decies · 01-01-2010 12:43am

Gary77 wrote: »

I am staying in tonight as well but not by choice. If I had the option of going out somewhere I like with people I like I would but I don't so I have to face facts.
I am just not popular with people. I have about three close friends, two are married and the other lives in London with his g'friend. I am single as you have guessed.
I had the option of making friends earlier in life but didn't take it. I hate myself and the way I am now. Nights like New Year's Eve make me feel even worse. I try to blow it off and say it's no big deal but it does hurt, every year when this night it comes around and I am on my own again after promising myself this time last year I wouldn't be.
The worst thing is I'll have to make up a pack of lies at work next week about where I was tonight and what a great time I had.
Not just not having a girlfriend but just friends would be nice. nobody to blame but myself but I have to keep trying to change it.

Yep half the problem i think is other single people want to do their own thing usually with family,and so other singles are left out in the cold>i have single friends but its an effort to get them to do things,and that only makes you feel worse about being single.If you have that someone special well you have that person who USUALLY will be there for you,trying to count on fellow single people to be there for you is just hopeless.Typing this at 12-42 am new years day says it all really.

alias06 · 01-01-2010 2:26pm

iguana2005 wrote: »

am so bloody depressed...weather is ****E..all the 'couples' and happy people are getting ready for tomorrw night(NYE) after having an amazing xmas where they got engagement rings and flights to Europe..its such a lonely time and cant stop thinking about every negative thing about my life(and thats a LOT)..

Yawn...and if one more person says to me January and February are going to be the toughest I'll head bop them..

Any one else feeling the same? Any tips to oovercome?

I feel the exact same. Was in good form the past few months in the run up to Christmas but now feel crap. I'll get through it but just feeling down. Watching Team America to try to cheer myself up.

LegacyUser · 01-01-2010 4:45pm

The great thing about the internet is that you can see you are not alone.
I am in a very long term relationship that has gone completely stale and am actively looking for a painless way out of it....extremely hard to do.
I sat in last night with my gf and absolutely hated every second of it when I thought of all the people out there `enjoying ` themselves and heres me stuck in with someone I know I must get away from for both our sakes but dont want to just suddenly break up.
Ive been dropping very subtle hints for ages now but the penny is very slow to drop.
Anyway I posted to show that not everyone is happy even in a relationship.
The other man`s grass is always greener.

LegacyUser · 01-01-2010 5:13pm

krudler wrote: »

its one of the best times of year to go out and socialise if you're feeling lonely, people are generally in a much better mood when out and out and its festive and close to the new year, its easy to talk to strangers and meet new people at this time of year

Nonsense, abject nonsense. Being in a pub with blaring "music" where you have to shout to somebody in order to "talk" may be what you consider "one of the best times of year to go out". Not to mention the obscene prices for admission to such venues, and the equally repellent drink prices. Most of us have a better quality of life away from that noise pollution.

Oh, and not forgetting all those high-heeled women slipping on every footpath in Dublin last night as they trundled home at 3am still searching for a taxi. Quite pathetic the lengths people go to in order to get away from themselves and disguise their insecurity. Yes, all the "winners" were out in pubs last night alright.

LegacyUser · 01-01-2010 5:24pm

lonelytoo wrote: »

The other man`s grass is always greener.

How very true, and how very sad is your predicament.

cheekyass · 01-01-2010 6:02pm

It doesn't matter whether your in a relationship or not January gets everyone down......Think the best way to get over the January blues is to stay busy :rolleyes:

Vanhalla · 01-01-2010 6:25pm

i got dumped this xmas. the ****in bitch. ordinarily i dont really mind being alone at xmas but it has been horrible this year and cant wait for it to end.

cheekyass · 01-01-2010 6:52pm

Vanhalla wrote: »

i got dumped this xmas. the ****in bitch. ordinarily i dont really mind being alone at xmas but it has been horrible this year and cant wait for it to end.

Ouch...that sucks......sorry to hear it

01-01-2010 7:11pm

Vanhalla wrote: »

i got dumped this xmas. the ****in bitch. ordinarily i dont really mind being alone at xmas but it has been horrible this year and cant wait for it to end.

sorry to hear that mate. cheer up. plenty more fish in the sea.

I hate this time of year

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