Shy Bladder

LegacyUser

This is kind of embarrassing for me, but I have a bad case of shy bladder.

I am 20 years old and I have never pee'd in a urinal. Ever. Anytime I've been out to a pub, nightclub even in college, I always have to go to the cubicle. Sometimes I would be bursting to go and still would wait for some guy to finish up in the cubicle.

I don't know what it is but everytime I go in I say to myself, go to the urinal, it's no biggie. But the second I walk in, I freeze up! The other night I went to a pub, waited for a cubicle, and when I went in, a guy behind me stood at the door waiting for me to finish. I couldn't pee! Even though he couldn't see me, and wasn't looking, I knew he was there, waiting for me to do my business!

Is there any simple way of overcoming this? It's a rediculous problem, I know, but it's so annoying. I have heard about people using hypnotherapy, but thats a bit much do you think?

Kevster

I have the feeling that there's more to this than simply having a fear of peeing at the urinal. You should describe the remainder of your personality, as I believe this will answer your question yourself (or at least help someone else here to answer it for you).

Kevin

Overheal

I have the shyest bladder in america, sometimes I can barely have an awl whizz if its too strange. Im recalling the rest stop bathrooms at thanksgiving. yes they were private but with people checking your door to make sure its not locked every 15 seconds really puts you off. But I digress. The only solution is a bit of mentality. I guess youd call it CBT. But you should think about anything else. Think of a safe happy place. Not someplace you're worried about some creep staring down your tallywhacker or mugging you while you have your johnson pulled out while he takes your last $32 and your Driver's License. Its an issue of insecurity that you need to overcome.

LegacyUser

Haha you are not the only one at all with this problem, I see it every time i walk into a public bathroom. It used to happen to me all the time up until around 1 year ago (im 20 now) now it only happens to me very rarely when im sober. How did I get over it? I started making a complete joke out of it and laughed at myself for having such a trivial problem. Eventually I was able to go every now again when I was drunk, eventually all the time when i had a few drinks and finally I could go anywhere when sober. By the way it is a complete psychological reason and very common so dont worry, also not a sign of any deep or hidden insecurities, I am 100% confident in all aspects of my life. Its a case of overthinking thins, you can and will get over it, believe that and youre on your way. Good luck!

tenchi-fan

This isn't even funny!! it's a real problem! Im usually fine esp when i really need to go or after a few drinks (terrible u need dutch courage to pee in public!) but I actually had to leave a toilets before because I couldn't pee at a urinal in front of other people.

My advice, take a breath in (once the smell in the toilet isnt bad) and think of running water (cliche i know). then as your breathing out hopefully your bladder will relax a bit! once you get going u'll be fine

Overheal

The image of running water works more because its an image of tranquility, less than it is, ya know, about flowing liquid. Its all about letting yourself relax enough.

cafecolour

It's pretty common: http://www.paruresis.org/

Honestly, the best cure is essentially to get a friend to practice with. Ie start with him standing outside the door with it closed. Then next time outside the door with it open. Then next time in the bathroom with you but facing away, etc.

Obviously, finding someone to help with this might be a little difficult. Ideally someone with the same issue would be best so you can tag team.

tenchi-fan

cafecolour wrote: »

Obviously, finding someone to help with this might be a little difficult. Ideally someone with the same issue would be best so you can tag team.

lol that's brilliant. Once it doesn't lead to any misunderstandings.
but if you're pee shy would you really have the guts to ask a friend to watch you?

AugustusMaximus

Don't worry, its fairly common, I have it myself.

Really pisses me off that I have to wait for a stall in pubs and clubs. Get really messy when a lot of the doors on cubicles and such are broken.

According to paruresis.org, the best way to overcome this problem is through graduated exposure therapy. Sadly there doesn't seem to be any workshops being presently run in Ireland.

And btw, if you do start talking about it to any other guys, call it stage freight. That's what most guys seem to call it in this country anyways.

LegacyUser

Best cure- imagine yourself peeing through the penis of the guy next to you. it works. This is the cure as discussed in Richard Herrings book, talking co*k

Hooked

123 pee wrote: »

Best cure- imagine yourself peeing through the penis of the guy next to you. it works. This is the cure as discussed in Richard Herrings book, talking co*k

thats all well and good till you forget and try zipping up HIS fly...

ah the olde "blue balls" syndrome. Tonnes of my mates have this as it's very common. I used to suffer a bit and would always distract myself and focus on something else to get going. easier said than done, I know!

AARRRGH

I hate peeing at urinals. Loads of reasons, but a big one is the guy next to me tends to look at my dick.

This makes peeing difficult.

I've found I've gotten better at blocking it out as I've gotten older, but peeing at urinals is definitely not a good thing.

So don't worry OP, you're not werid.

Galvasean

I get this sometimes too. It's a simple case of not being relaxed. If your standing in a dank, smelly pub/club bathroom surrounded by oddballs chances are you wont be relaxed. Peeing is all about relaxation.