The Pill..Can it do this?

LegacyUser

Without going into too many details, I am wondering if the Pill can push a girl far enough moody to hit someone? (Multiple times..)

GF was on it a while ago, and was pretty dam moody. Changed pill and is no longer the same, BUT I am finding it hard to accept it was all the pill..!

I don't think violence is ever acceptable, but I do know a certain pill completely changed me - mood swings, terrible depression, general crap health - and when I came off it, it all went away. It can have a really harsh effect on some people, so I'd be willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

LegacyUser

Hi unfortunately in my opinion doctors are far too quick to just throw different pills at people to see which "suits" you, i've been on several different ones over the last couple of years and it's been horrible. I have never been violent towards anyone, however a few months ago i'd had a few too many too drink and had an argument with my mam, I hit her in the back with my handbag. I cried and went into a serious depressive state for a solid week afterwards,months on and i'm still racked with guilt. My mam said I was like someone possesed and she thought i'd lost my mind as I didn't even sound like myself. I know it was the pill that did this to me and yet I feel like the absolute scum of the earth. I think you need to weigh up all the facts is your girlfriend generally a violent person or was this out of character for her. This is probably eating her.

Lolaa

I agree with "ashamed" above - i think doctors are way too quick just to switch the pill without really evaluating what the side effects are to the specific person.
Personally i was on the pill and while i didnt actually hit anyone my mood was completely different and out of the ordinary - if an argument was just about to occur i would shout scream slam doors walk out etc so i just came off the pill altogether.
And now that im not on it, when an argument is about to occur it doesn't even bother me!!
OP, if your glfrd is not usually violent in any way then i recon its probably the pill and she should be back to the doctor for a diff form of contraception mayb the patch, chip in your arm or coil. But only you can decide whether you think your glfrd is capable of hittin you while she is not on the pill and cant use that as an excuse?

LegacyUser

Hi, it's quite possible that the pill could do that - I was like a dog for the first few months I was on it, but I did go back to normal. I was never violent but my mother more than once told me to come off it as I was being completely unreasonable and teary over nothing.

However, I can't help feeling adding that violence is wrong and if you had hit her several times due to medication you were on she'd have had you arrested. I'd say give her a second chance this time and see if that was really the problem, but if it happens again think seriously about your relationship - Amen might be able to help.

Lollipops23

yup it can make you act in ways you never thought possible.

however,it is still not acceptable for her to hit you. is she genuinely remorseful about it?has she recognised her behaviour is unacceptable and identified the cause?

LegacyUser

She changed pill and the majority of it cut out. (All the physical stuff cut out). She apologized, but maintains it was all the pill.

Hard take though, as I have not heard too many stories where the pill led to kicking and elbows...multiple times throughout the space of a month or so!

Hence why I ask..

jenga-jen

[quote=[Deleted User];63703778]I don't think violence is ever acceptable, but I do know a certain pill completely changed me - mood swings, terrible depression, general crap health [/QUOTE]

+1 on the above OP, I was on a certain pill around age 19 or so and tbh it completely changed me. Mood swings and general bad temper that were so bad my mam and then bf felt the need for something akin to an 'intervention' :eek:

It did all go when I changed pills though so it could just be the hormonal balance.

However, you say all the physical stuff has stopped. Does this mean your OH is still being abusive/acting out in other ways? If this is the case then maybe you need to talk to her about addressing this. IME this could escalate in a relationship as you go through different stresses and strains and also possibly when alcohol is involved.

The Pill may be a factor but please be wary of using it to excuse too much of this kind of behaviour.

magneticimpulse

i have to agree with the others...i felt like a normal person when i met my ex boyfriend. after sometime i decided to start taking the pill. my moods started to completely change. i felt depressed and suicide all of a sudden, like overnight. angry and threw water over him. this was totally out of character compared to before taking the pill.my ex said he could tell the difference. i stopped taking the pill and coming off it, made my moods even worse. since splitting with my ex, i decided to keep taking to pill, so it gives me time for my body to get used to it!! ive been on it 3 months. im still bit moody, but i can tell its totally different to before, plus its a different pill.

i asked the gynaeo and she said, yes going on and off the pill changes your moods and recommended i stay on it. i was so concerned, another gynaeo said the same.

fend

Lollipops23 wrote: »

yup it can make you act in ways you never thought possible.

+1....

Nevyn

Nottheface! yes hormones and the artifical ones in the oral contraceptive pill can cause
drastic changes to a woman, lets face it, it is what it is desgined to do, it is designed to causes drastic changes to a woman on a physical level and hormanal and emotional level.

It can make a woman irrational and irratible and crush thier ability to cope but
and hears the important part, while it can vastly contribute to all of this and the frustation and the anger at not being yourself and feeling out of control of your own body we expect adults to have self restraint and keep thier fists and feet to themselves
and not lash out like a 3 year old.

Could the side effects of the pill cause a huge shift in your GF behaviour yes,
they mimic making her pregnant which can feel like you are going mental, the right type
and dosage of pill will not do that.

Does that explain her lashing out at you? it certainly can contribute to it, but it doesn't excuse it 100%.

Is she taking responsibility and acknowledging hitting you was wrong?
or is she saying it wasn't her and it was the pill?

Even if it was 100% the fault of the pill ( which I don't think for 1 second ) that doesn't mean you have to be ok with it. That doens't mean you have to forget it happened and not be hurt and betrayed by it and confused by it all.

It is perfectly reasonable and rational for you to be questioning where you stand after what has happened and how you both handled it and if it's a pattern and what if it happens again and what excuse wil be used then.

It is a very good and healthy for you to questioning this and to figure out how you feel and if you can get past it and if you can not. From some things in a relatonship there is no return and we only figure that when things have settled down afterwards.

When there is no return we have to choose what happens next and what can be done to make sure it doesn't happen again and to explore the dynamics so it doens't happen again and some times no matter how much you both 'work' on it there is no getting past what happened, as it has changed you and the relationship forever and all you can do is make an end.

What do you need?

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies.

She did apologize, but tbh lays the responsibility down to the pill. Told me once in an argument that I could not understand been a guy.

Mostly "normal" these days, more moody then the first few months we dated but thats dating for yea. Probably the same at times.

Tbh, she can say some pretty mean things when drinking though. Not even gonna start on that time of the month!

Nevyn

Well that is not respecting you, seems like she uses drink and pms as an excuse rather then deal with what ever her issue it.

Taltos

Sorry

violence - moody when drinking - oh and the violence.

Time to call it a day.
Pill or no pill - violence is the showstopper to beat them all.
Having hit you once - she is more likely to do it again. Leave and find someone who will respect you and care for you enough not to hit you

LegacyUser

Hmmm.

Tbh my head says yous are right. I think she has deeper issues (don't we all..) that she projects into the relationship. While the physical stuff has stopped, other warning signs are blaring. I must get apologized to at least once a week at this rate over things she does or says. Occasionally lies. In our last major argument we broke up..by text! (Her doing, a day after the argument got the txt..). Played mind games a while back, quickly called her out on that though.

But for all that, she has a lot of very good traits and I enjoy my time with her more then anything. Weird as that may sound?

Taltos

Look - only you really know if this relationship is worth fighting for.

And none of us know how bad / good it is.

Just be very very careful that you are not falling into the trap that alot of abused partners fall into. Not all abuse is physical. There is also emotional and psychological abuse.

Any of these have the effect of slowly eating into your selfconfidence and eventually convincing you that the other person is a saint for putting up for all your issues...

There are many many threads from abused folk here and some really good advice on how to identify a toxic relationship and who to contact for help. Maybe you are not in such a relationship - but maybe just maybe you are and you are already going down the route of excusing her behaviour. Ask yourself this - if she was like she is now when you first met her - first date - would there have been a 2nd or a 3rd?

Just take care of yourself - maybe have a serious chat or consider going for couples counselling. Speaking to a professional can really help as they are not emotionally involved in the relationship and can help one or both parties to step back and identify the situations / actions that prompt the toxic reactions.

However - if it was me - and I was hit multiple times and there are other warning signs I think I would have to leave while I still had my self-respect and the dreams of meeting and settling down with someone who would love me as much as I would love them.

Emme

There are definitely medications which can make people feel more violent - e.g. anabolic steroids. I'd include the pill as well.

It's ultimately up to the OP if he decides to stay with his GF. When I went on my first pill at 18 (marvelon) for period pains I got very moody, snappy and kicked the family dog for chewing up a favourite t-shirt - something I would NEVER do under normal circumstances. Instead I'd be giving him another t-shirt to chew up with my blessing! The doc wanted me to try another but I decided that cramps were better than kicking the dog. I tried other pills over the years for contraception and was moody and horrible on them. I figured that the pill made a fool proof contraceptive because it made me so horrible I drove all my boyfriends away.

Only one pill ever agreed with me - Yasmin - but I have heard of women who are suicidal on it and have all sorts of negative side-effects.

jenga-jen

Emme wrote: »

Only one pill ever agreed with me - Yasmin - but I have heard of women who are suicidal on it and have all sorts of negative side-effects.

Lol proof that it's roulette on the right pill, Yasmin turned me into a complete demon (and on a weird note did very strange things to the chesticles)

OP, I have to agree with Taltos that it's ultimately your decision as to whether the good parts make up for the bad/abusive bits. As someone who has been on the wrong end of an OH who got abusive on alcohol please just remember that nobody deserves to be treated badly, even by someone they love. The alchohol may be a bigger factor than the pill?

A serious chat when you're both calm about the behaviour might help her to see how it's affecting you.

Best of luck with it though if you do decide to carry on, I hope it works out for you