I stutter

LegacyUser

I probably should post this in the stuttering forum but some of my family are members of boards and i know when things don't go their way and we end up fighting, they will end up hitting me in the face with my problem regarding my stutter and just knock me down. Which is something i don't need really.

Well i sometimes stutter. Its something i have never got any help with. I don't know where to go? There was a few months last year where it was very bad and it seemed like every second word i tried saying was so fked up. I seem to go through phases. There can be months where i am fine. Even when i say im fine, im not 100%. There are some words but i avoid saying them. I dont think i am going through a bad phase now, but sometimes if i think too much about what im trying to say i end up stuttering.

When its bad, most people dont comment or make me feel bad. I rarely ever get any nastiness. Except last week. So last week i finished up work and was chatting to two lads i work with. I was trying to wish them a happy xmas. One of them is constantly trying to set me up with the other fella. Thats really getting to me lately and i think because of it, im starting to stutter when i talk to them. How do i get him to stop when im going to stutter?

So one fella was there trying to set us up, im standing there and just trying to wish them a happy christmas and say nothing else. He's there saying give him a hug (a xmas hug)and im there saying: hap hap happy happy chris, happy chris, happy christmas. This lad says then that i obviously like the other lad to wish him such a happy christmas and just started laughing. It really made me feel bad. I wish he could concentrate on finding himself a partner rather than trying to set us up. I don't need someones help finding a partner, i wish he would just stop.

I dont know why im here. Having a stutter has never got to me. People has never got to me. But to be laughed at. That was low. How do i get this lad to stop trying to set us up?

moretothegirl

Having a stutter is a real condition with plenty of reasearch behind it. If it bothers you , then you should see a speech and language therapist as this is their field. Have you looked on the stammering forum on boards? even if you dont want to post you could use the forum to read and get info from it.

visit www.stammeringireland.ie
this site gives a list of self help groups throughout the country that meet twice a month and I can tell you that these are a great form of support. They are run by people who stammer so you can be sure that you wont feel your being judged or laughed at. instead they are a great form of support who work together with techniques to overcome the stammer.

there is a lot of research online regarding stammering but be careful as there is an awful lot of ridiculous stuff regarding this area that should be disregarded. I know one theory is known as the Iceberg theory and is based on the idea that the stammer is the tip of the iceberg but there are loads of underlying factors underneath the surface that you need to tackle also. this theory is fairly well known and is commonly believed.

The stammering community is actually a great community throughout the country and has a great support system. Many people make great friends through the groups, boards, the awareness day etc etc

hope this helps

KiLLeR CoUCh

Would it be possible to head around to your GP and ask could they find you a speech therapist? For almost as long as I can remember my Dad has had a stutter and he sees a speech therapist once a month. He now has a number of breathing excercises to try when he feels like he's going to stammer and it's helped a lot.

moretothegirl

KiLLeR CoUCh wrote: »

Would it be possible to head around to your GP and ask could they find you a speech therapist? For almost as long as I can remember my Dad has had a stutter and he sees a speech therapist once a month. He now has a number of breathing excercises to try when he feels like he's going to stammer and it's helped a lot.

Speech therapists work in the health centres generally so an individual could call the health centre and tell them what it is they are enquiring about and I'd imagine they could be reffered to the speechie that way. Otherwise. many speechies work private a list of which can be found at www.iasltpp.com ..... do a bit of research though as certain professionals will specialise in the area so there are some that may be better to see going private can be pricey tho

Djuret

OP, unfortunately, stammering cannot be cured. It can be mitigated somewhat with speech therapy and all that, but chances are that it's something that you'll have to live with all your life.

Your best bet is just to make the best of it. I've been stammering all my life, but I sort of realised at an early age that you can't let a minor thing like this stop you from enjoying life.

I've stammered ever since i was a kid, I was quite down about it for a good while - then I just said feck it, I'm not gonna let a minor thing like this stop me.

Since then, I've been an army officer, started my own engineering company, taught engineering subjects, been a manager in a big multinational etc. All these roles involved a lot of communication.

I think stammering is really as much of a handicap as you make it yourself. You're welcome to PM me if you want to talk about it by the way.

moretothegirl

Djuret wrote: »

OP, unfortunately, stammering cannot be cured. It can be mitigated somewhat with speech therapy and all that, but chances are that it's something that you'll have to live with all your life.

Your best bet is just to make the best of it. I've been stammering all my life, but I sort of realised at an early age that you can't let a minor thing like this stop you from enjoying life.

I've stammered ever since i was a kid, I was quite down about it for a good while - then I just said feck it, I'm not gonna let a minor thing like this stop me.

Since then, I've been an army officer, started my own engineering company, taught engineering subjects, been a manager in a big multinational etc. All these roles involved a lot of communication.

I think stammering is really as much of a handicap as you make it yourself. You're welcome to PM me if you want to talk about it by the way.

I agree with this great advice. However, one thing I find is that everyone is different regarding stammering and what may work for one might not work for another. OP i would get in contact with an slt if I were you to give that a go. If you find it doesnt work out then at least you'll have tried. Definitely reccomend the self help groups though.

I do agree it cant be "cured" but many people learn and use techniques to come to control is quite well.

aurelius79

stutter wrote: »

I dont know why im here. Having a stutter has never got to me. People has never got to me. But to be laughed at. That was low. How do i get this lad to stop trying to set us up?

Well, the guy trying to set you up sounds to be pretty immature. I suffer from social anxiety so I know how being laughed can affect some people. Others are lucky enough to shrug most things off. Try pulling him to the side and explain to him that you are capable of handling your own personal life. He may just be trying to get a rise out of you or he may be genuinely trying to help. Either way, let him know it makes you feel uncomfortable. If he persists, I suggest warning him that you'll go to the supervisor. These things can escalate and make the work environment uncomfortable, best to nip it in the bud.