I dread the dole

LegacyUser

I am about to become unemployed in 3 months time. The job I am in is a short-term contract with no chance of an extension. I was on the dole for 6 months before that and it was fairly hellish (as I'm sure many people can testify to).
I like the place and the people I work with, even though I don't talk much I feel part of a team and that I am valued and respected. Even though it is still a good bit off I am sick with worry over the prospect of being unemployed again. I am due back at work in the next few days but this cloud on the horizon is weighing on my mind so much I am worried it will affect the rest of my time there.
I am lucky compared to others as I don't have any financial worries, I am single with no kids to support or mortgage to pay.
I still live at home with my parents but I can't go back to that again, I just can't. It destroys my self-esteem (what little of it I have left).
I haven't enjoyed Christmas one bit, I lie awake at night thinking about it and wake in the morning with the same terrible thought in my head. I am going to search like a maniac every day for a job while I am working but I can't see the economy improving to such an extent that I will get a job within three months.
I was thinking of heading off travelling after I finish this job but that is only putting off the inevitable really (it would give me something to look forward to but also waste money I may need).
I can't watch TV or focus on anything right now. I am doing a course part-time (which I hate) and I am unable to concentrate enough to study for an exam which is due so I will have to jack it in I'd say. I believe the course is of no benefit to me anyway.
I also hate the idea of leaving a job in the knowledge that everyone there knows I don't have one lined up.
I am in my mid-thirties and have done little with my life, I can't help but feel that I am all washed-up and my best days are behind me.
God I wish I could go back in time and change things, how the hell did things come to this?

LegacyUser

I went on the dole lately & I know exactly where you're coming from. It makes you feel like a second class citizen and having no purpose to each day is very hard.

I would say stick with the course if you can at all. Any extra qualification may give you an edge when going for a new job. Even if it's not related to the job you're going for, it shows that you are interested enough in your development to take on an evening course & see it through.

You have 3 months to find something so you never know what will happen. Something might even happen with the job you're now in. Think positive -that's what I'm doing anyway!

LegacyUser

doletoo wrote: »

I would say stick with the course if you can at all. Any extra qualification may give you an edge when going for a new job.

Nah man can't do it. think of something you really, really hate and multiply it by a million and you might be somewhere near the level of hatred I have for it. It's not laziness, just downright boredom. I have to work on it at weekends too which gets me down no end.

doletoo wrote: »

Something might even happen with the job you're now in. Think positive -that's what I'm doing anyway!

Nope, I have been guaranteed I am a goner when my contract is up.

robd55

Just to put things in perspective you are like thousands of others in the same situation in this country. Yes things are likely to be bad next year so what are you going to do about it? Look on the situation as an opportunity to do what you really want to do and gear yourself towards that. You are doing a course you hate so you must know what you really would like to do? Moving back with your parents should also be used as a motivation if it really bothers you that much to pursue other routes. You still have time before the end of your contract why not use it to see if there is another contract available somewhere else. I work in a company that is turning over contractors like there is no tomorrow. One girl went to a recruitment agency told them I will do anything. She got some work as temp and then got a 6 month contract in a job totally different to her field of study/background. Point is there are opportunities for those who are willing to embrace them and make them. Enjoy your last days in your current role leave with a positive impression and you never know what might happen. Its tough out there thankfully I have a job my friends are all like you and they are trying everything.

Good luck

boarddotie

You need to look on the brightside OP, someone just gave you some advice/support and you became negative instantly.You have a job NOW, isnt that the main thing? There may be no prospects for a continuation after but you still actually have a purpose to your life RIGHT NOW. If you are feeling this down now, things will seem a whole lot worse when you are back on the dole.Be positive in this new shortterm position. If you feel all washed up and negative you will radiate this and other people will believe it too. But I doubt anyone would would, many people are in your situation and worse at the moment. Integrate into this team in the job, make a meaningful contribution to the team in your 3 months and make the most of it because who knows what may come of it. You seem to be distaning yourself from the job just because if will end in 3 months. You are looking too much in the shortterm.As for the course, it may be torture and boring but so are many things that we have to do in life. Again, you seem to be distancing yourself from the course just because you think it will do you no good. Again looking too much in the shortterm. ANything extra iin the CV is great. And all the better if you manage to finish it even though its torture=achievement of persistance.Maybe a huge travel plan at the end isnt ideal because of financial constraints, but what about a short travel plan to look forward to-like a 3 week thing. If done on the cheap it wouldnt eat too much into the vital savings? Sounds cheesesy but maybe a 3 week getaway to South AMerica may be just the ticket-you may not find yourself but it may clarify things for you, new perspectives etc.Good luck OP!

LegacyUser

Hiya,

Just to give a perspective of someone on the dole

-i'm 24, and lost my job 2mths ago, it was a six month contract, I knew it would end but hoped they'd change their minds, it was not in my area, just a **** job to get some cash together not related at all to what i'd studied/worked previously. Prior to getting this (thru an agency after doing the odd day here and there in canteens etc) I'd been on the dole for 4mths after losing my 'real' job when the company folded. i live at home, like u it drives me mad that i'm not independent, but unfortunately unless u've been renting continuously for the 3/4mths prior to losing ur job, ur not entitled to rent allowance (roughly 3/400e a month)

so there's my background here's some tips and plz, i'm not trying to 'scam' the dole, so dont be negative to comments, but the dole ppl wont tell u how to get the most of the system, so here it goes

- if u can live away frm home b4 losign ur job do so. check the length of time u have to be moved out for before qualifying from the welfare site - if u dont qualify, and can pay rent for the month or two till u do it's worth waiting. u'll get rent allowance which will allow you to live independantly without worrying about paying rent. it usually covers the cost, but check ur landlord will accept it as some dont - find another flat if necessary.

- save like a m'thrf'cker. you WILL need that nest egg whilst waiting for dole to come through (first time round it was 4mths, tho like me u mite qualify to resume ur last application which will cut down waiting to few weeks).

-having some savings will ease the stress. the first time i was out of work it was horrible but i found this time round, having already gone thru it and with that little bit of extra cash to pay bus fares/print CVs etc it wasnt so bad.

-sign up for FAS and see if they'll pay for courses not on their list, friends have done TEFL thru it which isn't on their site. They're site is great for jobs too tho more and more most seem to be part of some damn scheme which means you have to be out of work 6mths before applying.

-forget about online job hunting, and go directly to companies and cold call. most agencies/jobs on sites are rubbish, lies and teh asshole agencies that put up fake ads to drum up business should be shot - there's nothign more disheartening to be called in for an interview only to find out the job was never there.

-make a plan, take a week or two to chill and get ur head together but dont wallow, dont wait expecting things to change - u'll be out of work on average 3-6mths at least before work comes up, take up a new sport/hobby, go to volunteerireland.ie,

-look into emigrating, apply for work abroad, almost anywhere is better off that ireland - i'm moving to spain next week for a year on work unfortunately most ppl will have to.

-start lookign for work now having a job makes it infinitely easier to find another job, it IS true, it'll help u adjust and get real that you will be out of work

look, I found being out of work easier the second time round - I think the shock isn't so great and you start doing stuff sooner like joining groups/volunteering instead of sitting back hoping to get a job. it's hard, it's depressing, and you'll have days where you're pissed off with beign out of work. But keep active, busy, and take it as a chance to refocus either your career/study something else.

beign out of work can be a good thing esp during these times when so many others are in the same boat as you can do the things you wouldnt have had the time/motivation to, so take it as an opportunity to pursue the things you've put off. and get fit - beign strong and healthy will keep you sane

LegacyUser

boarddotie wrote: »

If you feel all washed up and negative you will radiate this and other people will believe it too.

Good point, I'll try to avoid that.

boarddotie wrote: »

You seem to be distaning yourself from the job just because if will end in 3 months.

That's true. I just want to prepare myself for the inevitable pain.

boarddotie wrote: »

As for the course, it may be torture and boring but so are many things that we have to do in life. Again, you seem to be distancing yourself from the course just because you think it will do you no good. Again looking too much in the shortterm. ANything extra iin the CV is great. And all the better if you manage to finish it even though its torture=achievement of persistance

Yeah but it is two years, I know there is no way I will keep it on for that length of time.
I believe it is of no use to my CV whatsoever. The content is outdated and stuff I have covered before (hence the boredom). I could do something better on my own.

Eve_Dublin

Hey OP. Just an option and I'm not trying to convince you to leave the country but I came home from travelling March this year after 1 year of travelling into a different country I left a year before. Luckily I got a temp job for 3 months within a month of getting home but I knew there was no chance of an extension. I did a TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language course)online and emigrated out of the country 3 and a half months ago and moved to Spain. Had no problem getting a job and I've heard other major European countries are screaming out for English teachers. The pay is grand, you learn another language, the craic is great, weather better, people are hot, life is cheaper, the recession is worse in Spain but they're used to it and don't complain as much as we do. People initially wondered why I left Ireland to go live in a country with a worse recession than ourselves but I guess the Spanish are learning English to emigrate from their country because they can't find a job themselves so the demand for teachers is still high. I would recommend it...my plan is to learn another language to make the best of this crisis and maybe do something with that in the future.

It's an option and a decent option....PM me if you need advice.

I agree with the idea of emigrating. There is absolutely no point in staying in Ireland if you have no ties (kids, mortgage, health). Even if you don't want to do it long term, teaching abroad for a year or two is miles better than sitting at home on the dole. As soon as things started getting really bad and it looked like I was about to lose my job, I packed up and left, as did many of my friends. As Eve Dublin said, the recession created even more jobs on the continent with people desperately trying to learn English in order to get a job. In Belgium, the government pays for English classes for people on the dole and people who have just been made redundant. I'm sure it's the same in other places. Not only do you have work, but you get to live in a new country and learn a new language. If you want to go further afield, they're still crying out for teachers in most of Asia. I think you'd be mad to accept defeat without seriously looking into all these possibilities.

LegacyUser

Good advice from guest2, thanks for going to the trouble of posting all that. I don't think I'll be leaving the country as the two other posters have suggested, I'm too old. I shouldn't complain, I am lucky that my parents allow me to stay at home but I hate this situation, I hate it hate it hate it. I think about it every waking hour of the day. I'm 35 FFS, it's embarrassing, I'd give my left arm to change it but I can't.
I couldn't even afford to buy my own car, my parents had to lend me the money (God knows when they will ever get it back).
I'm not a lazy person, I want to get on and do things. I can't handle not having a job and a purpose in life, it's more than I can bear.

Eve_Dublin

Barnsey99 wrote: »

Good advice from guest2, thanks for going to the trouble of posting all that. I don't think I'll be leaving the country as the two other posters have suggested, I'm too old. I shouldn't complain, I am lucky that my parents allow me to stay at home but I hate this situation, I hate it hate it hate it. I think about it every waking hour of the day. I'm 35 FFS, it's embarrassing, I'd give my left arm to change it but I can't.
I couldn't even afford to buy my own car, my parents had to lend me the money (God knows when they will ever get it back).
I'm not a lazy person, I want to get on and do things. I can't handle not having a job and a purpose in life, it's more than I can bear.

You're too old to emigrate? Why? What ties do you have here?

LegacyUser

Barnsey99 wrote: »

Nah man can't do it. think of something you really, really hate and multiply it by a million and you might be somewhere near the level of hatred I have for it. It's not laziness, just downright boredom. I have to work on it at weekends too which gets me down no end.


Nope, I have been guaranteed I am a goner when my contract is up.

Why on earth would you decide you wanted to do a course that you hate times a million, maybe you thought you'd like it and then didn't but to have an interest in something and then to say imagine something you hate times a million seems a little dramaqueenesque. You should stick your course out it will be a qualification under your belt. Try not to be so negative about everything, it will only come acrosss in every day life, and things like interviews and really won't do you any favours.

Peggypeg

You Sir, need to cop on to yourself!!! My god, those post were the most self pitying I've read in a while. So sorry if I sound like a bitch but you need to cop on and stop moping like a two year old. Who says you're too old to emigrate? - YOU! That's who. You just want to have a moan and a whinge but you need to grow up and act like a man. Don't like your course? Change it. Don't like being on the dole? Change it. Don't like living at home? Change it. You are in charge of your life and only you can change but all that's coming out of you is negativity and can't, can't, can't. Cop on, you'll never be happy looking at things like you do. You need to get out of that well of self pity and grow up. There have been loads of very helpful suggestions above but you've knocked them all. The only thing holding you back is you. Go do a TEFL course and then emigrate and make a life you love, this isn't a dress rehersal, we only get one chance at life and no one else can do it for you.

Hopefully you'll take the above as motivational (which is how I meant it) and go look up the TEFL course, I mean come on, how exciting would that be? You could end up ANYWHERE, having all types of adventures.

LegacyUser

do you have any responsibilities like kids etc?

Living at home DOES suck, especially at your age when you should be independant. I know it seems like putting money down the drain to suggest moving out - but you're last 3mths paycheck will cover rent, then when you're out of work, the rent allowance will cover it. It'll be far more depressing to stay at home.

Also what's imp is that you only get job allowance for 9months (based on your tax payments)- after that runs out you apply for job benefit which is based on income etc - if you live at home, you will be judged on your parents income, any houses they own, their mortgage, all their possible incomes, savings, retirement etc. Most people will just not qualify unless their parents are on some sort of benefit too. If you move out, you'll be assessed on your OWN money - you'll be out of work so you'll qualify. which will mean you'll still have some sort of social welfare coming in.

If your welfare is resumed instead of a new application started, which is likely as you've only been working 6mths, the prior time you've spent on welfare is included in this 9mths - so you might only be getting a few more months of payment.

all in all, your best bet is to emigrate - even with kids etc, what life do you really have for yourself and ur family here - your dole will run out, you'll be driven mad applyign for any welfare entitlements and waiting for them to come through, all the time usign up any savings you have and getting more and more depressed.

emigrating, ok u spend maybe 4/5k on setting urself up and sustaining urself whilst lookign for work, but it can be done on less if you have to - others have moved abroad on less. within a few months, you make it back, make some money to save and if really pushed, you can move home and go back on dole if able and look for work here.

many TEFL courses/companies (esp for Asia) will do the course, set you up in a job, pay for flights and some pay for accomodation. It's really worth doing for the cash alone, it'll just be 6mths/ a year what have you to lose??

and at 35, you're lost you seem like you don't know what career to get into, if you don't like your course, stop doing it, and get into something else. You're not too old - a year ago I was travelling south america meeting people in their late 40's, 50's that decided with the recession it was time to jack it in and do something they love, some were starting up new lives, others were just travelling. it really couldnt be a better time for those with no heavy commitments.

and if money is a problem, it might take a while but if you sign up to agencies and push them to let u do any work, even if it's a day here and there, u'll be able to keep welfare, (except the days you work) and slowly build up cash. friends and family will be more than willing if they can to give you enough to set up a new life.

i know you feel at your age you should be at a different stage in your life, but fact is you're not - you don't have a car/house/wife and kids (i'm guessing) which makes you feel like a loser - but trust me, it means you can start again somewhere else, not be stuck here with debts, you're in a perfect position to ride out the recession. what other great big plan do you have to get through the recession - take the risk and move!

Massive Muscles

You are spot on about emigrating. People do it to run away from their problems.

LegacyUser

Peggypeg wrote: »

You Sir, need to cop on to yourself!!! My god, those post were the most self pitying I've read in a while. So sorry if I sound like a bitch but you need to cop on and stop moping like a two year old. Who says you're too old to emigrate? - YOU! That's who. You just want to have a moan and a whinge but you need to grow up and act like a man. Don't like your course? Change it. Don't like being on the dole? Change it. Don't like living at home? Change it. You are in charge of your life and only you can change but all that's coming out of you is negativity and can't, can't, can't. Cop on, you'll never be happy looking at things like you do. You need to get out of that well of self pity and grow up. There have been loads of very helpful suggestions above but you've knocked them all. The only thing holding you back is you. Go do a TEFL course and then emigrate and make a life you love, this isn't a dress rehersal, we only get one chance at life and no one else can do it for you.

Hopefully you'll take the above as motivational (which is how I meant it) and go look up the TEFL course, I mean come on, how exciting would that be? You could end up ANYWHERE, having all types of adventures.

OK I accept your criticism, it's deserved but there's a recession on, it's not as simple as you make it sound.

LegacyUser

Ah come off it Massive Muscles! his life is going nowhere here in Ireland, travelling abroad can be the kick up the proverbial to motivate you to get on with things. sometimes you need to be away from the safety net before you start taking risks and pursuing the life you really want - and some lifestyles CANT be had in Ireland (a real outdoorsey lifestyle is not really practical with the amount of rain).

ppl here in ireland can be so negative, spend their time drinking - sometimes seeing another way of life, where u dont spend ur weekends in the boozer, to be around ppl that are genuinely positive and dont resent achievement can be an eye opener.

and anyways- who said he's running away from problems? ppl that emigrate do so cos they have to, cos there's no work here.

sure, he needs to motivate himself to change, and he'll have to cop on and realise that but sometimes a change of scenery is needed first.

Victor

Massive Muscles wrote: »

You are spot on about emigrating. People do it to run away from their problems.

And sometimes getting away from your problems is the right thing to do.

However, make sure you have learned from your problems and don't be in denial about them.

Massive Muscles

Massive Muscles wrote: »

You are spot on about emigrating. People do it to run away from their problems.

Absolute rubbish. Some people might do it to run away from their problems. Other people would find it the logical and sensible option when there are no jobs and no ties at home. OP has said he hates his situation, he has no job, nothing to stay in Ireland for, he has said he wants to travel, so why not head abroad, for a few years at least? Where is sitting on his arse, feeling miserable and draining even more of the country's resources going to get him?

Barnsey99 wrote:

OK I accept your criticism, it's deserved but there's a recession on, it's not as simple as you make it sound.

I'm starting to get sick of hearing the 'there's a recession on' excuse. Funny how that fact hasn't made a blind bit of difference to me, I've had a constant supply of work since early 2007, and so have most of my friends. But you have to go and find it. It actually IS easy to get teaching jobs in a lot of countries - you don't even need the TEFL cert, and you don't need to pay for your own flights. 35 is not old at all, that's all in your head. As someone else said, life is not a dress rehearsal. You could go and have a really interesting experience, earn a decent salary, have something to put on your CV that will definitely impress future employers, possibly even find a place you love and set up a life there, or you could sit in your parents' house moaning about how miserable you are. The only person who can change things is YOU. You're way better off than a lot of people, don't waste away your life.

Eve_Dublin

Barnsey99 wrote: »

OK I accept your criticism, it's deserved but there's a recession on, it's not as simple as you make it sound.

OP, it really is as simple as it sounds. People have been emigrating during a recession for a long time...it's the time when people emigrate the most for obvious reasons. Sorry to go on about the TEFL teaching but it's a handy number, rewarding and the pay can be decent (if you give private classes, you can make very decent money). Most of the teachers I know are well over 30, some are in their 40s, 50s, 60s....people do it for the rest of their lives.

I saved up the money I earned for the 3 odd months while I lived at home with my sister and then my parents and I'd enough for a deposit and one month's rent and enough to keep me going for a month or so (rent is cheaper and so is living ANYWHERE in Europe outside Ireland). I saved about 2000, but that was plenty. If you applied for jobs before you got there, you could start within a week of arriving. Izzy is right, you don't need the TEFL cert (although they say you do, they never ask you for the cert).

It REALLY is that easy.

Eve_Dublin

Massive Muscles wrote: »

You are spot on about emigrating. People do it to run away from their problems.

You're dead right. I emigrated to run away from the massive problem of being unemployed, bored and no hope of doing something constructive with my time.

The_Conductor

Massive Muscles wrote: »

You are spot on about emigrating. People do it to run away from their problems.

People emigrate to pursue opportunities not open to them at home. I've one sister in New Zealand and another in South Africa- the opportunities and indeed standards of living there- not to mention the weather- are very compelling reasons for leaving Ireland. If I didn't have ties here- I'd be incredibly tempted to emigrate- probably Canada or New Zealand, places where you could see a future for yourself and any possible future family. Ireland is an incredibly bleak place- there are far more positive aspects to emigrating than 'running away from their problems' as you put it........

Dr.Sanchez

I have to agree with Serenity Ashy Theory on this one, nothing is gonna happen unless you get up off your arse and do something about it.

I'm 20, I just came back from Australia before christmas. I left because I lost my job and HATED being on the dole. While I was over there I managed to land myself a bar job on an island on the great barrier reef, paradise as some would call it. It was only a six month contract but before I left Australia I put a deposit down on a course in dublin so I would have something to do when I arrived home.

Im back home just over two weeks now and I'v already managed to get myself an interview for an Irish bar in the states... Theres work out there, one thing I'v learned while traveling Australia is how little Ireland really is!

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

Sorry to hear about the change in your life and that it is a difficult time,


If i was you i would not continue the course despite the advice given your old enough to choose what makes you happiest, if you hate something it says it all,

Dont know why this thread has gone off topic and everyone is having a discussion about emigrating, the OP has no desire to, dont do it then if you dont feel its right for you.


Give yourself time to adjust after leaving your job, maybe do a bit of soul searching with the time you have on your own, if you invest so much of yourself in a job then when it is gone there is a hole to fill, try build up the other areas of your life, it seem your job gave you stability if that is where you get your stability from then it will be difficult, it would be difficult for anyone, i dont know why everyone is giving you such a hard time over it.


All the best, stay strong XX