Dildo Dilema

LegacyUser

Is it just me, or is a rampant rabbit possibly the most unromantic gift my boyfriend could present me with for my birthday? Now I realise I run the risk of sounding incredibly ungrateful, but there´s a number of things, value of no importance that I would have been thrilled with. I´ve nothing against our not so furry friends and have enjoyed them many a time in the past, but it was the last thing I wanted, needed or expected.. If he had´ve given me one as an impromptu surprise, yes, fine, great, but I really think a birthday gift should be something a little more thoughtful, and to open a gift and see "bugs in a box" was just a bit of a let down...
Now what do the rest of you think? Am I alone in feeling this way? I realise it´s not the end of the world, and I´d be very hesitant to let him know how I feel because thoughtless gifts aside he´s a gem, it´s just when it comes to gifts I spend a long time thinking what would make him happy, and he, well he seemingly just heads for the nearest hutch! but feedback appreciated..

Nevyn

Talk to him about it, tell him how you feel.

kenbrady

Oopsie wrote: »

I spend a long time thinking what would make him happy, and he, well he seemingly just heads for the nearest hutch! but feedback appreciated..

You put a lot of time and effort into buying what You Think is a great gift for him. You think he doesn't put enough effort into thinking about what to buy you. So do you think you are more into him than he is to you.

What's the real issue behind this ? Surely you're not annoyed just because you don't like a gift your boyfriend bought you.

LegacyUser

Hi, thanks for the feedback, now first of all, I'm not raging about this, I was merely wondering if I'm the only one who would be a little put out by it.. Regarding my gifts for him, I spent time during the year, listening to him, knowing what he'd like, and saving and using this information at times such as birthday's/christmas, in terms of gift ideas, it's a pretty fool proof method as the idea comes at some point, straight from the horses mouth... My only problem is that the same courtesy isn't being extended to me. I in no way shape or form have given him the idea that I'd like a this for my birthday.. A night away, a romantic meal, time together, things he know's well that I would love him to organise, for that's what it is, knowing that a bit of time and effort and thought went into the whole process.. Now as I said, no, it's not a big deal, I was merely wondering if I'm the only one out there who'd be a little put out by it..

LegacyUser

I would be offended if i got that for a birthday present from my boyfriend! you asked for opinions and yes, i would actually be offended but i hope my boyfriend would know me well enough not to do that!
I have no problem with the item in question but would be insulted if my boyfriend gave one to me, i'd take it as a hint ,DIY..!!! lol! only kidding but seriously, i dont think its a nice pressie at all!!!

kenbrady

Oopsie wrote: »

My only problem is that the same courtesy isn't being extended to me.

Are you happy with the effort he puts into the relationship and the attention he gives you ?
Or is the gift just an example of how he doesn't do enough for you. Some people are bad at buying gifts. It's not that they don't care. He could think that it was a funny gift that you would laugh about. Not many men would go into a shop and buy a dildo.

LegacyUser

Hi again, and once more, thanks guys for taking the time to reply...
I'm glad I'm not alone in thinking it's a bit of a strange out of the blue kinda pressie! He's a great boyfriend apart from this and as I said the point of my post, was just to see how others would feel because yes, I was a little upset by it, especially seeing as how there were a lot of other things he could've thought of.. I told him what I wanted more than anything was a night away, he's a busy guy, so for him to clear his calander and organise a nice night for the two of us would have meant the world.. I suppose that's what I was expecting, so anything else was bound to be a let down.. But in the great scheme of our relationship, it's not the biggest deal..

Monkey61

Some people are just rubbish at picking out exactly the right present for someone. I spent 4 years in a relationship paying attention to my girlfriend and storing up little bits of information and then putting masses of effort into tracking down the most perfect and thoughtful presents in the world for her. She didn't ever do the same. She just wasn't good at stuff like that.

Now my current girlfriend thinks that I am rubbish at present buying. But I think she just doesn't appreciate the presents properly. For both her birthday and for Christmas I tracked down things that she had mentioned that she always wanted but had never been able to find. For Christmas I got her something that she mentioned she had as a child, but it broke and she would love to find one again. So I went to loads of trouble scouring the internet and found it for her. She unwrapped it and said "oh...did you get this in work?" Aaaaargh.

It must have taken a lot for your boyfriend to walk into a shop and buy that for you. It's a lot bigger a deal than picking you up a last minute box of chocolates or perfume. He probably thought, for whatever reason, that you would really appreciate it. So cut him some slack and appreciate his effort.

Hmmm, I wouldn't consider it very thoughtful or romantic but perhaps he's just crap at picking out gifts. I often get my boyfriend some sort of sex toy from Ann Summers and vice versa, but it's more for a laugh, just something small and silly along with other present(s), I do always get the more 'romantic' gift along with it. You could always hint that perhaps at sex toy wasn't the best idea for a gift but it could be hard to do that without offending him.

LegacyUser

Monkey61..Yesh... I know, I realise that one mans trash is another mans treasure, and obviously the reverse it also true, and to be honest I am starting to feel like a bit of a cow for harbouring ill feeling. I suppose at the end of the day it just caught me on the hop, ... Ahem!
I know he'd be fairly hurt to realise I wasn't over the moon with joy, and while I'm all for honesty in a relationship, I think I'll keep this one under my hat. I'd hate to make him feel stupid. Oh but please don't feel bad for him randomly wandering around with a big vibrator stuck under his arm, he bought it online lol.

LegacyUser

He's always been pretty spot on in the past, so he's not a rule crap present buyer, in fact I can't think of ever feeling disappointed before, maybe I just had different expectations.. And I'm all for a bit of fun in the bedroom so maybe I'll change my tune in a few weeks..

opinion guy

Ok so not meaning to pry but - how are things in the bedroom department ?

I ask for a reason. Someone above said not many guys woudl buy you a dildo. Don't agree with that actually - but I imagine there is a reason if a guy is buying it out of the blue. Like he feels he isn't meeting your needs or isn't giving you enough time or something.


Ninja Edit:

Oopsie wrote: »

I told him what I wanted more than anything was a night away, he's a busy guy, so for him to clear his calander and organise a nice night for the two of us would have meant the world..

aha......

jazzlewazzle

maybe he cannot make time to have that night away with you so this is your consolation prize?

Canis Lupus

I'm with the OP. I mean, naughty presents are fine as a BD gift but as a secondary gift. I'd never in a million years present my GF with a rabbit as her main BD present. It's just..... odd.

LOL, if nothing else it lends to awkward moments when the OP gets asked by her folks "and what did he get you?"

LegacyUser

Hi all... Me again.. Yes!! yes yes! That is another problem for me, what do I say when folks ask me? I'll have to think of an alternative.... God, my mother, his mother, his children! The mind boggles... Hmm maybe I'll tell the truth, that'd learn him.. lol.
And things are great in the bedroom department, I have literally no complaints there thankfully.
Regarding his hectic calander, he does have a few days off over the festive period, so I suppose I just assumed this is what would happen. I appreciate he's busy at other times, as am I, we still manage to spend a good bit of quality time together but in our usual envoirnment, home, local pub, so it would've been nice for a change.
As a secondary present It would've been great, I would've really appreciated the sentiment/thought/joke, just when that's it well the main event.... Hmm.. But reading through all of my posts and your kind replies I realise if thats all I have to complain about then I'm a lucky girl indeed.

krudler

I bought my gf one but as a spur of the moment thing because we were talking about them one night and we, ahem, broke her last one but i wouldnt get her one as an occasion gift, itd be more of a stocking filler (pun fully intended) than a main gift, do look at it this way though, most men would never dream of queueing up in Ann Summers with a big pink vibrator in their hand and buying one, so at least he can do that much for you, (unless he bought it online)

Taltos

Have to hold up my hands and say I am guilty of this present...
However I bought it at a time where she was uncomfortable going into a shop to buy one for herself.

2 things happened

1st - she now gets her own
2nd - I now get a list of suggested presents....

Maybe it is that time in your relationship - if you really want to get a present you love then suggest a few. Otherwise - grin and bear it. Maybe not much thought went into your gift - but maybe a hell of a lot of thought did go in - and if like me bucket loads of sweat - gotta love that old training we all get here...