Voice

LegacyUser

There's a negative voice in my head and it's been there for some time. It's ugly and quite controlling. I've had plenty of counselling, etc over the last few years and I've spoken about it there.

The problem is that it cuts through many aspects of my life: my confidence, self-belief, ability to trust others, sustain and maintain friendships, jobhunting and so on. I know it's not as simple as replacing one negative thought with a positive one. That doesn't really work.

I don't know how to solve this.

Wibbs

Maybe try a different counselor?

LegacyUser

You need to retrain your mind to stop those thoughts. What I used to do was as soon as I realised I was thinking those thoughts I would repeat some positive affirmations e.g I am healthy and happy or else say a prayer for someone in a less fortunate position than you - it does work.

Good luck

LegacyUser

(Btw, mods can you please change the title of the thread to just "Voice", that was my mistake in posting!)

I've been to 2-3 different ones (psychologists/psychotherapist) to deal with mental health issues over the years. I think some of the issues were sitting one top of the voice and now they're not present so much then it has more power to unleash itself. I'm not sure. I know counselling is largely non-directive and you've to work out solutions for yourself, but it can be hard.

LegacyUser

Thanks Mods.

Uuuuuuuu wrote: »

You need to retrain your mind to stop those thoughts. What I used to do was as soon as I realised I was thinking those thoughts I would repeat some positive affirmations e.g I am healthy and happy or else say a prayer for someone in a less fortunate position than you - it does work.

Good luck

I can understand why this might work, but I'm hesitant because it doesn't strike as being powerful enough, that it won't run deep enough into counter or replace the negative crap.

RossFixxxed

Is this voice in your head totally? You don't 'hear' it in the room do you?

Do you argue with it, or is it you thinking very negatively. These would be big questions.

If you find counselling a bit directionless (as I do tbh) have you considered some form of therapy? CBT is popular at the moment (it's basically Buddhism with fancy words around it) but it is very very good for a number of things including this cycle of negative thoughts, leading to loss of self esteem and so on, leading to more negative thoughts etc...

Try EVERY option you can.

LegacyUser

No, I'm not psychotic. It's like a loop in my head, but I don't experience hallucinations or delusions. I know what some of the triggers are by now.

Argue you with it in what sense, in the moment? It's fairly unrelenting when it kicks off, trying to hit back sometimes only fuels it. I'm aware of CBT, but I don't know how widely available it is in Ireland or how effective is in the long term.

miec

Hi Op

CBT can be highly effective and there are some free websites that can help with retraining negative thinking but I would agree with Wibbs try another counsellor as well. I have had a number of therapists over the past ten years to deal with various issues and I was sceptical of changing thought patterns believing they wouldn't cut it, but they do, however, the latest person I am seeing has helped identity whose voice is speaking. It kind of works like this I think, you have you, your voice and then this negative voice that will say things like your crap at this, or what are you doing that for, etc, etc, it is in my experience that it is repetititve, very black and negative (pretty much as you described). Like you I have the same thing but since naming the various voices (parents, ex friends, ex partners, etc, etc that I have internalised) those voices are dying away. I have also adopted the use of CBT and positive thinking and another thing I have done is mentally question and engage with the negative voice, for example if I have said I am useless at something, recently I have pulled up examples where I did well in something, another one that I changed was I was always told 'I want never gets' and for most of my life I believed I couldn't get things or have the right to happiness, well now I know that statement is bollocks, I believe now that anytime I want something I have a pretty high chance of getting it. I also found statements such I never get it right, or I always get it wrong, etc are redundant because that is saying there is a 100% failure rate etc, which is incorrect. It has made a huge difference to my mood, happiness levels and peace of mind since I've been adopting these techiques whilst also undergoing counselling. Good luck and keep working at it.

LegacyUser

Hi Op,

I think its great you have the self awareness to know it, thats a huge start, I dont think the information on mental health is that forward in its thinking in Ireland but i think it is making progress, i say that because i have healed myself from the negative voices within me and i did it through psychotherapy and group therapy and new age books like louise hay and eckhart tolle,

eckhart tolle had a profound effect on me because he said he was depressed and suicidal till one night he said to himself i just cant live with myself anymore, he thought, but who am i who is the self, which one is real? so he wrote that book called 'the power of n0w' and that is exactly what i have done to heal, as easy as it sounds to just stay in the present moment, look at the moment which is real as opposed to your mind which is taking you to a million painful places,

it is not easy for a mind to just change because you have to change your whole belief system, from my experience it is the environment that you have grown up in that has such an effect on you, like i had to work through all my feelings of guilt, shame and anger to get where i am, because you have to get to the root of your pain, process it and then you heal, the reason therapy is hard is because you are changing how you usually function, and staying in the 'sh!t' can sometimes be easier that choosing to be healthy.


Remembering that you are not your mind is a new concept to embrace, you are the being that is in the present moment, the feelings and hurts from your past are what is friving you mad, and yes they are relevent to you and will continue to hurt you inside if you dont know which part of you is the real part, but it certainly isnt the negative thinking that is the real you. You may have adopted these thinking ways from the family and people around you, so dont think you are some weirdo cause its all you were taught, once you learn new ways to 'be' the old negative chatter leave, another trick is just to watch it, watch your thoughts, watch what a present moment of breath is, what how life really is.


Here is a link to follow which may help, but you can over come this for sure!!!


Eckhart Tolle interview on the hour with george stroumboulopoulos ..... google it!

LegacyUser

OP here. Thanks for the input.

A new counsellor/therapist is all well and good in theory, but if I were to try someone new they'd need to have a fair bit of experience, training or awareness in relation to my disability and starting over/explaining my back story would take a fair amount of time. I'd need to paint a picture as to why things are the way they are. I know that sometimes counselling is more about process than it is about results...don't have too much of a difficulty with that. Just finding someone who I can 'click' with is the tricky part.

Self-awareness is also well and good, but can be quite close to torture, also. The voice was doing the rounds early this morning, not pleasant...calling me every name under the sun.

LegacyUser

VoiceA wrote: »

OP here. Thanks for the input.

A new counsellor/therapist is all well and good in theory, but if I were to try someone new they'd need to have a fair bit of experience, training or awareness in relation to my disability and starting over/explaining my back story would take a fair amount of time. I'd need to paint a picture as to why things are the way they are. I know that sometimes counselling is more about process than it is about results...don't have too much of a difficulty with that. Just finding someone who I can 'click' with is the tricky part.

Self-awareness is also well and good, but can be quite close to torture, also. The voice was doing the rounds early this morning, not pleasant...calling me every name under the sun.

This is strange, you have made an enemy out of your mind, no one has a degree in negative voices because its not the issue, the issue is how you are in yourself, you have to piece the pieces together and figure out why you are speaking negatively to yourself, there are reasons... what kind of things do you hear and what does it make you feel like, its like your separating the voice from yourself but how can this be its all you. You have to find a way of sitting with yourself and being in the now, why is it torture to feel, or be, are you afraid to feel?

LegacyUser

I see.

I'm aware that no one has a degree in negative voices, what I was talking about was dealing with someone with appropriate background knowledge. That way they can have some appreciation for how I am. I'm not going to name my disability here, but they'd need to be up to speed to understand that part of me, at least.

Yes, I know that there are reasons. I know the nitty gritty details and what I have to 'figure out'. That's partly why I've gone to counselling in the past. I'm not afraid to feel, no.

LegacyUser

VoiceA wrote: »

I see.

I'm aware that no one has a degree in negative voices, what I was talking about was dealing with someone with appropriate background knowledge. That way they can have some appreciation for how I am. I'm not going to name my disability here, but they'd need to be up to speed to understand that part of me, at least.

Yes, I know that there are reasons. I know the nitty gritty details and what I have to 'figure out'. That's partly why I've gone to counselling in the past. I'm not afraid to feel, no.

Well its hard to discuss without knowing all the facts, you say you have a disability have you been diagnosed with something? your right you do need a specialist perfectly suited to your needs, I personally dont believe in labeling illnesses cause everyones make up is different, and labeling can create limited thinking, there are always ways out and things to do to heal. The only way to get better is to confront yourself and your issues inside process them and heal IMO.

estar

hi there i would seek another opinion, and would see a psychiatrist and try and get a more formal diagnosis.

CBT is really effective, there are CBT practitioners in John of God hospital that are really good. Maybe contact them.

The quality of therapists can vary widely. Also directionless talking cures are not for everyone. CBT is very good at enabling you to manage the symptoms you are talking about. Talk to your GP and see can you get a referral.

LegacyUser

OP here. I have a formal diagnosis (not an illness), it was a pretty intense process...and it makes sense so I don't think another one is necessary or even viable. I wouldn't be interested in pursuing another. I'd rather not have these issues on my GP's radar..I'm new to him and he's new to me...only met him once for something physical. I'll discuss mental health with him if I feel the need to, but the medical model is not really for me. My diagnosis was through connections from the supports in college, no complaints there. I'll do some exploration on CBT. Thanks.