Friends in College

LegacyUser

Hi all,

Mods, I understand there was a fairly similar thread about this a little while back but this is a little different.

I'm currently in my first year of college and so far its been, well a challenge. The coursework is much tougher than what I had anticipated, though everyone else seems to find it ok from those I have spoken to. I wouldnt mind this so much though, if I had a few consisten friends in college to talk to.

I have a girlfriend of almost 2 years and I feel like I cant socialise fully because Im not as single and fun loving as the other people in my course.

So far the only chances to meet people that have been shown to me are nights out and pub crawls. Perhaps I percieve these things completely differently, but I see it that theres only two real reasons to go out on nights like these; to have a laugh with the friends you already have, or to score. I have tried the drama society aswell as a means of making friends (I have done plays etc. before) only to find that it is filled with the same kind of reckless, party-hard individuals that I generally feel like a complete dry shi*e around.

I really would appreciate any help on this and Im sorry for the really long post.

Many thanks in advance.

MooseJam

so you're complaining that you have a girlfriend, thats new i guess

Pushtrak

Well, dumping your girlfriend of 2 years for the sake of making other socialising easier is a terrible move, IMO.

Go out on the nights out/pub crawls, and get to know some people that way, and then given time, you will not need to think about scoring, as the people you go out with will be "friends you already have".

Also, do you not invite this girlfriend of 2 years with you on these nights out?

Hamiltonion

Hi OP, I'm in 2nd year now and was in your situation last year, my advice would be to try out different societies first and foremost, 99% of my friends are from societies and not my course, plus they give you lots of opportunities you wouldnt get otherwise.
In regards the girlfriend, I thought the same as you, then we ended up breaking up. I realised that its for the best as it gave me room to be who I wanted to be and to explore, the last thing you need is to be tied down. I've a lovely new girlfriend now who is far more easy going and who I've more in common with and due to this I've made lots of new friends and I'm a more confident, outgoing person, so it all worked out for the best. What I'm saying is if you're unhappy ask why then do something about it. Better to make a leap and work towards fixing your situation than to stay put and never know, because you'll only become more unhappy as time drags on. Best of luck Op!

fishtastico

I had a girlfriend of two years when I started college, and am still with her. I also made plenty of friends. Nights out don't have to be about scoring, and if you drink, it's pretty easy to get to know people, once they don't end up in loud clubs. I started off in a huge year of about 350 people, and as the course specialised and classes became smaller, everyone in our class went out for coffee between lectures and became great pals. Also, as the above poster said, societies are a great way to meet people, if a little drink-oriented. Really I'm still great friends with most people that I was originally forced to work with, and I didn't meet most of them until second year. Best of luck anyway!