I'm a homophobic. I think.

abouttobebanned

I'll let you guys and gals confirm this...

I'll get the usual crap out of the way...I have a few friends that are gay, never had an issue with them...absolutely no reason to. But lately I've found myself cringing with disdain at some of the people I've met in my line of work.

I DJ part time at a night club and there is a breed of gay man that my tolerance levels can no longer cope with.

- They hang around with girls and act like kids on christmas day.
- They love the x factor and always ask me for britey spears.
- They scream all the time and act gayer than is actually possible for anyone to act. This is way beyond "I'm free!" stuff...this is actually embarrassing, even to some of my gay friends.

But here's my problem...everytime i see them, their attention seeking, cheyl cole loving heads, I want to gauge out my own eyes.

Am I a homophobe?

dresden8

You're confusing homophobia with hating loud annoying cnuts.

Tricity Bendix

If that's homophobic then I guess I must be a homophobe as well.

T Corolla

No you are not I have the same issue with the above mentioned.
I have no problems with gay people live and let live

L1011

It'd only be homophobia if you aren't as pissed off at the girls that act identically; from when I was DJing there'd be more of them and they're equally as headwrecking. "No, I won't play Miley Cyrus, you're at a trance event", etc.

Louisevb

I think annoying people come in all shades and sizes.....There are always going to be people who within a group tend to be OTT.... I've been on holidays and had little girls with loud chattering voices really annoy me when I''m relaxing at the pool... I've had young gay men and women again who are very OTT and annoying... Having said all that, I work within the LGBT community, so I think it's probably just individuals... You can't always like everyone.

Aard

No, you're not homophobic - if you were then you'd allow the behaviour of the minority affect your views on the majority.

who is this

abouttobebanned wrote: »

- They [...] act like kids on christmas day.

How could you possibly know this?! :P

It just seems such a random thing to throw out there

Annasopra

who is this wrote: »

How could you possibly know this?! :P

It just seems such a random thing to throw out there

It's not - think about what he's saying is they act all the time like kids do on christmas day

Nevyn

Some poeple find it a turn on.
Really yaoi or boylove has a huge following and fan base in asain countries and is spreading. Really the lipstick glam for the lads lesbians had best look out they are going to be so upstaged.

Boston

Tricity Bendix wrote: »

If that's homophobic then I guess I must be a homophobe as well.

0_o

abouttobebanned wrote: »

I'll let you guys and gals confirm this...

I'll get the usual crap out of the way...I have a few friends that are gay, never had an issue with them...absolutely no reason to. But lately I've found myself cringing with disdain at some of the people I've met in my line of work.

I DJ part time at a night club and there is a breed of gay man that my tolerance levels can no longer cope with.

- They hang around with girls and act like kids on christmas day.
- They love the x factor and always ask me for britey spears.
- They scream all the time and act gayer than is actually possible for anyone to act. This is way beyond "I'm free!" stuff...this is actually embarrassing, even to some of my gay friends.

But here's my problem...everytime i see them, their attention seeking, cheyl cole loving heads, I want to gauge out my own eyes.

Am I a homophobe?

What exactly is wrong with people behaving in that manner? I get that it's not exactly your idea of how a man should behave, but does it harm you in anyway? You work as a DJ, in that line of work you must see some horrible things on occasion and you've probably been on the receiving end of abuse more then once, fortunate if you've never been assaulted. Yet a bunch of twink is what upsets you?

If you can accept that most of these guys aren't putting it on, that it's their actual honest to god personalities and mannerism then it becomes pretty difficult to slate them for it and not be a fool. I know a guy whom before he even opens his mouth you know he's gay. Instead of getting pissed off at the guy I thought about what life must be like for him. Most straights guy I know who accept me wouldn't accept him, a lot of gay guys I know would be resentful towards him saying "they think we're all like that". I realised the guy was infinitely braver then I was when he recounted a time he was attacked. People on here debate not holding hands in public encase someone picks up on their sexuality and attacks them. Outwardly camp/effeminate guys don't have the luxury of deciding whether or not to send out signals.

It's bad enough that LGBT people go through all the self recrimination and introspective hatred when it comes to identify as gay, but then to go through it again once out to determine if you're the right type of gay to be acceptable. I've more respect for guys who are "fabulous" and are ok with that then guys who are "fabulous" and pretend otherwise. I sat in at an LGBT soc AGM a few years back and one of the guys election speech could be summarised as "I'm a bear, not like that twink over there". That I found cringe worthy and head wrecking.

Now fair enough, people who are loud and annoying are headwretching, but I've encounter the anti-twink/fem/whatever attitude too many times to believe its just that.

If someone has the courtesy to treat me like a human and not assume I'm a skanger out to rob them because of my accent then fuk it I'll treat them as a human and not assume there's something wrong with them just because they're a man who acts like a girl. A little understanding in this world would go along way.

Thats my rant. You're not a homophobe, but you don't come across as particularly accepting of people at odds with your personal world view.

Nevyn

That attitude has been on the rise the last 10 years or so as being homosexuality becomes more acceptable and less queer or that is to say certain types of homosexuality becomes more acceptable.

I discovered the name for it myself only in the last 48 hours due to discussions on the transgender thread in ah, it's called Homonormativity

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heteronormativity#Homonormativity

Homonormativity is the assimilation of heteronormative ideals and constructs into homosexual culture and individual identity. Homonormativity upholds neoliberalism rather than critiquing monogamy, procreation and binary gender roles as heterosexist and racist. T

Homonormativity fragments the GLBTQ community into hierarchies of worthiness. GLBTQ people that come the closest to mimicking heteronormative standards of gender identity are deemed most worthy of receiving rights. GLBTQ individuals at the bottom of the hierarchy (Transsexuals, Transvestites, Intersex, bisexuals, non-gender identified, queer individuals) are seen as an impediment to this elite class of homonormative individuals receiving their rights.

It seems some people are so desperate for acceptance they will now denigrate those with whom they had been previously segregated with.

BigDuffman

There is expressing yourself and pride and then there is acting like a muppet. Obnoxious sugar buzzers aka Twinkies (not a derogatory term, but a "sub-category" like Bear) are a face melting scourge. I have no problem with flamboyance, camp, kitsch or any other femininity that would not usually be associated with males.

These kids annoy me. OP I know exactly what you are talking about. A prime example of which is the Emo / Twinky breed as seen in the Leave Britney Alone Video. Running around screaming unnecessarily and usually talking incredibly fast, then taking 100s of pictures of themselves etc.

Each to their own etc etc but I dont really enjoy their presence / company.

OP it doesn't sound to me like your homophobic to me, rather that you are merely annoyed by muppets. People who act like this who are straight annoy me too.

Nevyn

BigDuffman wrote: »

There is expressing yourself and pride and then there is acting like a muppet. Obnoxious sugar buzzers aka Twinkies (not a derogatory term, but a "sub-category" like Bear) are a face melting scourge. I have no problem with flamboyance, camp, kitsch or any other femininity that would not usually be associated with males.

These kids annoy me. OP I know exactly what you are talking about. A prime example of which is the Emo / Twinky breed as seen in the Leave Britney Alone Video. Running around screaming unnecessarily and usually talking incredibly fast, then taking 100s of pictures of themselves etc.

They are the new teenagers, or screamagers as I tend to call them the new myspace/bebo generation of 'young people' and saying all of that makes me feel old and middle fecking aged.

Boston

BigDuffman wrote: »

These kids annoy me. OP I know exactly what you are talking about. A prime example of which is the Emo / Twinky breed as seen in the Leave Britney Alone Video. Running around screaming unnecessarily and usually talking incredibly fast, then taking 100s of pictures of themselves etc.

Each to their own etc etc but I dont really enjoy their presence / company.

OP it doesn't sound to me like your homophobic to me, rather that you are merely annoyed by muppets. People who act like this who are straight annoy me too.

I hate to tell you this, but they're just kids as Thaed points out. Most will be straight or into abit of "experimenting cause it's cool". The further away you get from being a teenager, the less you're able to stand them. The best approach is to accept that you likewise were annoying at that age.