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What to do

  • 28-12-2009 4:40pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    My boyfriend and I broke up 3 months ago. It was threatening to happen for a long time, he drank too much and we argued too much. After the split we stayed friends. He would call up for dinner every now and then, we'd meet for lunch as a family with our 7 year old son. Seriously thought we'd stay friends. Then he went to England for a college interview, met a girl over there and everything stopped. He stopped calling up, stopped having lunches together. He's been over to England again to see her and she's come over here 3 times to see him. I had to plague him to come up for a while Xmas day to see our son open his presents. Thought everything was ok between us, but today I rang and asked him did he want to go for lunch as a family and he said it's sending out the wrong signals to our son. He basically told me that he needs to cut me out of his life completely as not to give me the wrong idea. When he was leaving Xmas morning, he gave me a hug, told me I was never undesireable to him and still amn't. Yet he tells me that he is completely over me and totally happy with this new girl. He was my family for over 9 years and now he wants no contact at all, only with things concerning our son. I really do feel I'm over him but still want him in my life. Don't know what yo do. Any advice or comments welcome.


Comments

  • #2
    St James
    Closed Accounts Posts: 76 ✭✭St James


    Sadly, the relationship between you and him is over.

    The relationship between him and son will never be over.

    You need to meet with him to agree an access programme where he will have contact with son, but not necessarily with you.

    You both still need to be friends so as not to give negative vibes to son. He needs to understand that both parents love him, but no longer love each other.

    it is sad. However, it happens.

    I am sorry for all three of you as you all have a loss to some extent.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks for the reply. I know you're right in what you're saying but he's making it really difficult at the moment. My son stayed with him the last two nights and he is dropping him back tonight. I asked him to come in and we'll sit our son down and explain things to him and to put on a united front for him and just let him know that even though we don't love each other anymore we still love him to pieces. I got a text message back stating "I've already explained things to him, he's fine with it, end of." Now I don't know what he told him but I just thought it would look better coming from the both of us. My son is at an age now where he picks up on emotions and moods an awful lot more. Sholud I just leave it at that or try and convince him that it is the best thing to do for our son.


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