Why can't I get over him?

LegacyUser

I am so annoyed with myself, i have always portrayed myself as strong, but i cant get over my ex. I have tried all the usual advice hang out with friends, do new things etc, but everytime i get a free second to myself all i can think about is him.

To make matters worse i have got sick recently, he somehow found out about it and contacted me, said he would be there for me and all that malarky, now it has been 3 days since i heard from him.

My head is just melted again, he broke up with me, he made no contact until he found out about my illness, now he doesnt contact me in three days? I'm so fed up, how in gods name do you get over someone??!!

Is the only way to distract yourself with someone else? Because at this moment i know the only thing that would distract me from my ex is thinking of someone else.

So my question is, is the best way to get over someone, is to get under someone, so to speak ?!

hollis12

who dumped who, and in fairness who you act with a ex is difficult maybe he told that too you and then wanted to give you space

token56

In my experience there is no instant fix, the best solution unfortunately is time and distance. You can try new things, meet new people etc but these are as you put it yourself distractions. What you need to do is distance yourself from him and as the cliche goes let time heal. The further you distance yourself from him and longer this goes on, gradually you will think about him less and less as he becomes less of a part of your social network.

Him getting in contact with you recently will just have made things worse as it will have brought back up all the old feelings as you obviously know yourself. As hard as it is you need to just distance yourself from him again otherwise everytime either of you get in contact with each other it will undue any distancing that has been done. The distractions can help speed it all up sometimes but again there are not a quick fix. I'm not exactly sure how long it has been since you two have broken up but it will just take time. I know this is probably not the answer you want to hear but it wont be easy getting over him and it will probably take a while.

I wish you all the best with your illness and hope you feel better soon

LegacyUser

Thanks for your replies guys.

He was the one to break up with me which was 3 months ago now. He still wanted to be friends stay in contact etc but i didnt want that as it would be too hard and only give me false hope. He texted me now and again but i never replied, i just wanted him out of my head. Now with my illness he rang me talked for over an hour, i felt great after, it was nice to know he cared about me. I was silly letting these feelings open up again, i feel worse now. Ugh i am just fed up with him and everything. I've decided anyway not to let him back in, for my sanity! I know he probably isnt doing it on purpose, he has moved on obviously not his fault i havent. Doesnt make it any easier trying to let him go. I wish i had an off button for my feelings would make things so much easier!

St James

Maybe he cares, but does not love. Does that make any sense?