I Need Sex All The Time

lifeishard

ok im a 19 year old female, and in a relationship for the past 2 years now, but for the past few months, i have been demanding sex every single day or night. Like i might not see my bf till about 12 or 1 in the morning because he has been out on a night out or whatever but i make sure i get it then.

its really worrying because i WANT it all the time, it's like an addiction or something. My bf doesn't really complain but some nights he really doesn't be in a mood and i get really annoyed at him and demand it because i cant sleep in the bed next to him knowing i won't have sex tonight. so then we argue and i storm off or whatever, i get annoyed and ask 'why don't u want it every night like i do'.. so confused

i know everyone will say having sex regularly is normal but whats annoying me is the way i react when i don't get it. Will my bf just have to deal with my high sex drive or can something be done ?

i don't know what to do .. any advice ??

krudler

Well put yourself in his shoes, if he was demanding sex every night and you didnt want it how would you feel? as for storming off, thats failry childish, you need to cop on about that

lifeishard

i know i know, i just get really frustrated because its a constant need, i think about it wayy too much

krudler

Is it purely the act of sex itself or does masturbation count?

lifeishard

mainly sex but if i really cant see him that day then will masturbate

Eve_Dublin

Why don't you STOP reacting that way then? You've identified a problem so now make a conscious effort to change it. You sound like you've a normal, healthy sex drive to be honest. Wanting sex on a daily basis doesn't make you a nymphomaniac or an addict but your response is borderline crazy behaviour and unfair on your boyfriend so now you have to try and change that. If he's usually up for it then maybe you should "take the matter into your own hands" (pun intended) if he's not.

miec

Hi Op

Are you feeling stressed at the moment? You could be suffering from abandonment issues, now sorry for the very americanised, psycho babble term but basically your reaction and attitude towards sex is stemming from an insecurity you have. Do you equate love with sex? Are you very identified with your body? The reason you get angry at your boyfriend when he is tired is because you are taking it as a personal rejection when it is not about you but about him being tired.

Often people who fear abandonment react in a similar way to yourself and it could be you have low self esteem caused by past issues. I personally would suggest counselling to work on this or at least looking at why you react this way but I would urge you to stop the behaviour as what you are doing is hurtful towards him, not everybody has the same drive and I am sure that he wants to please you but he should be allowed to be tired or not in the mood. I would also suggest sometime asking for a cuddle or some form of conneciton rather than sex, that may also help.

Taltos

Carrying on like this you are going to take the shine off your relationship and off sex.
You may be addicted - or you may instead need some medical advice.

The above posters question on stress though could be spot on - maybe try burning off this energy thru the gym or some other activity. The more and more you behave like this the more your bf may want to spend time elsewhere.

Maybe talk to him first and see how he is handling this. Also maybe in the short-term until you get a grip on this situation maybe sleep in separate beds every other night or more so that you both can get a decent nights sleep.

Djuret

Listen, there's something quite off-putting about someone /demanding/ sex, or getting annoyed when you dont get it, so please stop doing that, I don't think it helps the situation.

Also, how do you approach sex? Foreplay is defo an important part of sex, some women tend to neglect that however, due to a mistaken belief that the fellas would always be up for it anyways.

magneticimpulse

this sounds worrying and childish too. to demand and then stomp off like a child if you cant get it? i would get professional help about this. yes this is an addiction. you are "using" your boyfriend rather than for pure loving relationship. its not normal and i would talk to someone to see why you are behaving like this.

CDfm

OP - you sound like a pain and maybe its just the word demand.

You dont say that you initiate sex or make love or mention the quality sensulality, romance or foreplay etc. It may be that you are not doing it right and as a result are not really satisfied and I imagine he isnt either.

I may be wrong but have you considered buying a book and having some real nights in rather than drunken sex after the pub. Theres a bit more to good sex than that.

I am not with those who say you have a high sex drive or are insatiable or indeed that there is anything wrong with you just that you are young and inexperienced.

lifeishard

my bf noticed my thread, so obviously we had to talk about it. we don't just straight away have sex, obviously foreplay is involved. No its not like he doesn't want it every night its prob only once or twice a week he doesn't. and when he says no i do feel like he doesn't find me attractive and i know that sounds stupid. but i have been dealing with slight case of depression for the past few months but i didn't really think that me wanting sex was part of my whole depression situation
thanks for all the advice and i know understand no means no, as my bf says he isn't a machine so i gotta stop assuming he is up for it all the time, because it can be an effort lol

Gyalist

Have you changed your birth control in the past few months? If so, that could be the cause of your increased sex drive and it will settle down eventually.

lifeishard

no i don't take birth control, i never have

Djuret

Ok 1st of all, I'm sure your fella is immensely attracted to you, but we all need a bit of me-time, so if he doesnt want to have sex every night it's got nothing to do with you.

2nd, when it comes to sex, the carrot is better than the stick. So focus on making sex really enjoyable rather than getting annoyed if it's not happening on a particular night. Basically, be more prone to pre-pend sex with giving your fella 1/2h of erotic massage rather than storm off if you dont get it

I guess that the need for getting sex and feeling wanted in bed can be connected with your slight case of depression, but I'm no expert so i shall leave the psycho talk for others.

lifeishard

lifeishard wrote: »

mainly sex but if i really cant see him that day then will masturbate

why dont you use a toy then , should be enough to keep you happy for a while

and i have to agree the demanding must be the quickest turn off for him

lifeishard

yes he does get annoyed but tbh.. he does be happy most times that i want it alot, because when we first started having sex it was only 3 times a week and he even thought that wasn't enough so when i recently start wanting it more he hasn't complained that much at all

my problem really was, is it normal to have sex everyday? like for health reasons and stuff.

he starts messing around first most nights so i don't start foreplay first, he usually does

CDfm

OP - however many times both partners want it is ok and its not unhealthy.It depends if you are doing a sprint or a marathon.

A quiet one

lifeishard wrote: »

my problem really was, is it normal to have sex everyday? like for health reasons and stuff.

Yes, and even several times a day if you like. Health stuff is about nutrition, (food / water), exercise () and hygiene.