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Engaged-Scared-Depressed

  • 22-12-2009 11:46pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hello All,
    I am engaged to my long term GF. We have been engaged since July. We are due to get married in June, only 5 months away.
    The thing is, I get so depressed and low down, like dark feelings, whenever I think about getting married and Spending the rest of my life with her.
    She recently moved out of our apt as things got so bad between us. I got so depressed and cried almost every day for months. Infact, I felt this way for years, even before we got engaged. I told her I was not sure if I wanted to get married after all, as I cried like a child in front of her, I tore her heart apart.
    Now, I look at photographs of her and Photos of us and I get sad because I miss her. Then I txt her and tell her I want her back. I am messing with her heart and head completely.
    I posted here in 2004 asking people for advice on our relationship because I was unsure how I felt. I have never confronted my true feelings. Always avoiding them. Now five more years have passed and Im getting more and more depressed.

    On the other hand, we get on great together. I love her personality, our sex life and when I think of her being with someone else, I get sad. So, I must love her, Right?

    Like, why can I not enjoy her? Be with her without question, because she is great partner.
    Should we get married. Will these feelings go away in a few years or will they get worse?

    I love her one minute and I dont love her the next.... Which feeling is True?

    Any advice
    Thanks


Comments

  • #2
    hollis12
    Closed Accounts Posts: 176 ✭✭hollis12


    veryscared wrote: »
    Hello All,
    I am engaged to my long term GF. We have been engaged since July. We are due to get married in June, only 5 months away.
    The thing is, I get so depressed and low down, like dark feelings, whenever I think about getting married and Spending the rest of my life with her.
    She recently moved out of our apt as things got so bad between us. I got so depressed and cried almost every day for months. Infact, I felt this way for years, even before we got engaged. I told her I was not sure if I wanted to get married after all, as I cried like a child in front of her, I tore her heart apart.
    Now, I look at photographs of her and Photos of us and I get sad because I miss her. Then I txt her and tell her I want her back. I am messing with her heart and head completely.
    I posted here in 2004 asking people for advice on our relationship because I was unsure how I felt. I have never confronted my true feelings. Always avoiding them. Now five more years have passed and Im getting more and more depressed.

    On the other hand, we get on great together. I love her personality, our sex life and when I think of her being with someone else, I get sad. So, I must love her, Right?

    Like, why can I not enjoy her? Be with her without question, because she is great partner.
    Should we get married. Will these feelings go away in a few years or will they get worse?

    I love her one minute and I dont love her the next.... Which feeling is True?

    Any advice
    Thanks


    neither it sounds like your not happy with yourself and your life and want it to be better before you settle down, whatever the case u have to be a man and make a decision once and for all or your going to cripple this poor girl


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Why dont you try councelling to see can you sort your thoughts out?

    Seriously, you don't want to be a year or more down the road having lost this girl because you couldn't make your mind up and then deciding that you had made a big mistake.

    You also don't want to be a year or more down the road in a marriage you are unsure.

    She sounds like a great lady if she has stuck by you this far through thick and thin it seems. You both deserve for you to get your thoughts sorted out.

    Wishing you all the best


  • #4
    PaddyInChelsea
    Closed Accounts Posts: 25 ✭PaddyInChelsea


    OP, I agree with everything Luccylu says. I would hate for you to wait till you're married before you attempt to sort it all out.

    The very best to both of you. You both deserve happiness.


  • #5
    The Sweeper
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,658 ✭✭✭✭The Sweeper


    OP, go see your GP. A complete inability to recognise the good things in life, and some of the other things you've described, suggest to me you may be suffering from depression and/or anxiety. Of course nobody can diagnose you over the internet, but you may find that if you consult your GP you may get a diagnosis that will change your life for the better. Depression is extremely treatable, and once it's idenitifed there are all sorts of things you can do to make life better. What if you could have treatment that would allow you to enjoy your life? Look at it that way, and see your GP.


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