Help

LegacyUser

I'm an 18 year old male and am in 6th year in school. I have a girlfriend who I adore and love to pieces but I have no friends, I've tried and tried for years but people just don't seem to like me. My girlfriend is deadly most of the time but sometimes can really get me down, she also told me last week she is pregnant. In my own house my family fight all the time. I sit in my room on my own and the only time I go out is when I go out and wander around on my own or out to my girlfriend.

Lately I've been down a lot and I've no motivation for anything. I don't want to go to school and take off as much time as is possible and do no work in it. I don't really see a future for me. In my family you don't talk about your problems you just keep them bottled in. I tell my girlfriend some of the things that are bothering me but not all of them. I find it hard to open up.

I don't even know why I'm posting this here tbh but maybe I'll get some help.

Thanks.

daisybelle2008

You have a lot on your plate. Bottling things up is not good and maybe opening up to strangers like the Samaritans might be easier for you, it might be easier for you if the other person is on the end of a phone.
You do need to get all the help you can dealing with the issues and don't be afraid to reach out, you are doing it here and that is a step in the right direction. There is crisis pregnancy services (I don't know which ones are genuine & impartial but perhaps someone on here can tell you).
Work on yourself first and the friends will happen. Lots of people do not meet there greatest friends until they leave school.

LegacyUser

Look I haven't told the full story. The way I feel about my girlfriend is not healthy. I know that but I can't help it. She's the only person I can really talk to or feel comfortable around. She makes me feel special and I'd do anything she asked me to do. Anyways we've been in trouble a lot lately. And tonight she dumped me.

She is my first girlfriend and I didn't have much experience with many girls before her. She says I need to go out more and meet other girls. I know people are going to laugh at me when I say this, or tell me it's unhealthy but I already know that, but I can't meet another girl. I think of my girlfriend all day, I find it hard to go sleep before she does, all things like that. I can't help it. She's without douubt everything to me because I've no friends and the rest.

In the position I'm in right now I can't make new friends, all the friends I did have I go to school with. They plan their weekends right in front of me and never invite me. I have nobody my age living near me.

To be honest I see no point for me being here.

Peggypeg

Sweetie,

I think you need to go and talk to your GP about the way you've been feeling, you sound very low, he may be able to recommend a good counceller to help you understand and deal with the emotions you've been having.

Big HUG sweetie,
Best of luck.

XarcherX

hi OP, i know it sounds lame but hang in there, it really does get better. And like someone else said above, where you go AFTER school is where you'll really make good friends.
I grew up extremely shy and always felt i was socially inept but when i started working / college course i found that it does take time but it's a lot easier to make friends on a one-to-one basis rather than in a group
i'm sure if you sat down with your mam and really explain to her that your feeling miserable it would help?
There has to be someone else you trust or if you speak to someone anonymous to get this off your chest... you seem like a decent, intelligent guy and i'm just wondering that if maybe your friends don't include you in their plans because they know you spend almost all your time with your GF? Have you maybe turned down the chance to hang out with them anytime your GF was around?

McChubbin

daisybelle2008 wrote: »

You have a lot on your plate. Bottling things up is not good and maybe opening up to strangers like the Samaritans might be easier for you, it might be easier for you if the other person is on the end of a phone.
You do need to get all the help you can dealing with the issues and don't be afraid to reach out, you are doing it here and that is a step in the right direction. There is crisis pregnancy services (I don't know which ones are genuine & impartial but perhaps someone on here can tell you).
Work on yourself first and the friends will happen. Lots of people do not meet there greatest friends until they leave school.

+1000. I've just started emailing the Samaritans and you will not believe how much of a relief it is to have a neutral person to talk to. I'd urge you to give them a try as you have a huge burden on your shoulders with regards to impending parenthood.
Just know that you are not alone and that you can always talk to us Boardsies if you can't talk to your family.

From the tone of your post, I can only assume that you haven't told them about your girlfriend's pregnancy? There's no easy way to have that conversation but there are ways of minimising the risk of confrontation.

Try and invite your parents out to a meal or coffee in a public place and sit them down with your girlfriend in tow to explain the situation. They'll be less likely to cause a scene in public.

As for feeling alone, I can understand that perfectly well but I assure you, you're not.
There are many people out there (and some on this board even) in the same situation or worse. Don't be afraid to post here, OP. We've all been there.

EDIT: Also, get thee to a GP. It never hurts to have a doctor's opinion on your side.

maameeo

aw hun, your going through so much atm but you will pull through. at your age i got pregnant and my so called boyfriend told me to get the boat and left me alone. and god i felt alone. but iv pulled through and i went to my gp and got help for the way i was feeling.
please please please stay strong. you made the first step by telling people here. you can pm me if you need to talk, i mean that! the worst thing to do is to bottle it all up, it will help you to talk to someone.
*hugs*

christina_x

Lost18 wrote: »

My girlfriend is deadly most of the time but sometimes can really get me down, she also told me last week she is pregnant.

Thanks.

Lost18 wrote: »

Look I haven't told the full story. The way I feel about my girlfriend is not healthy. I know that but I can't help it. She's the only person I can really talk to or feel comfortable around. She makes me feel special and I'd do anything she asked me to do. Anyways we've been in trouble a lot lately. And tonight she dumped me.
.

umm... im sorry if this sounds wrong and im sorry to question you, but i am finding this all a bit hard to believe. Shes an 17/18 year old girl, whos pregnant and has a loving a supportive boyfriend standing by her... and she dumps you? honestly? no harm.. im an 18 year old girl, and if i found myself pregnant i wouldnt dump the father, no way hosay

maameeo

christina_x wrote: »

umm... im sorry if this sounds wrong and im sorry to question you, but i am finding this all a bit hard to believe. Shes an 17/18 year old girl, whos pregnant and has a loving a supportive boyfriend standing by her... and she dumps you? honestly? no harm.. im an 18 year old girl, and if i found myself pregnant i wouldnt dump the father, no way hosay

as i said i was preg at 18, it is so unbelievably emotional, you could have the most amazingly supportive bf in the world and still dump them because you have no idea what your feeling. Shed need time to adjust, its a very big thing to go through.

LegacyUser

OP here, thanks for all the help.

Christina- We've been on and off a lot lately. She's finding it hard to adjust to it and it's been stressful.
We haven't told anyone yet and she thinks she's a few months.

As for me I don't really know what to think. I'm really messed in the head lately. I've been thinking about talking to the Samaritans but I don't think I'd be able to tell them stuff. I'm really private and only started telling my gf stuff not long ago.

Today's been an ok day but I don't really have any enthusiasm for tomorrow when usually I really do look forward to it. I just feel very alone.

maameeo

take it one step at a time hun, dont be thinking about 2moro. your gf will be going through some crazy emotions for awhile, itll be tough on you but just give it time. it will all work out in the end.

Moomoo1

christina_x wrote: »

umm... im sorry if this sounds wrong and im sorry to question you, but i am finding this all a bit hard to believe. Shes an 17/18 year old girl, whos pregnant and has a loving a supportive boyfriend standing by her... and she dumps you? honestly? no harm.. im an 18 year old girl, and if i found myself pregnant i wouldnt dump the father, no way hosay

I can believe it, she must be incredibly confused about thinghs: her bf is clearly not popular in their school (which can be a great pressure at that age), and also he is clearly depressed and as a result 'clingy' (so at a time when she needs support she may not be getting it because he's unable to give it).

OP, I agree with others: you both have far too much on your plate at the moment. Get out there and find something to do in the evenings: get a job in a pub or something like that. Or do something voluntary, just to meet people and take the pressure off yourself.

booksale

hang on there, things will be sorted out.

LegacyUser

OP here. Thanks for all the replies.
Actually had a really good christmas. Me and the gf talked and we sorted it out, we're good for now but it is a stressful time. No we haven't told our parents just yet. Things are looking up though and I've felt pretty good the past 2 days I just hope this can keep up. But I'm not getting carried away. Thanks everyone so far with the replies.

Toots

Glad to hear ye two are talking things over. It would be a good idea for you and your GF to talk to either a GP or a crisis pregnancy agency, like Positive Options, so you can get info and talk to people who have experienced guiding young parents before. Also, very importantly, you need to arrange for your GF to see a doctor if she hasn't already, to make sure she and the baby are healthy. Positive options and the like will probably be able to give you advice on telling your parents also. Best of luck to you both!

LegacyUser

Me again. Just as I thought things were picking up she had another go off me. It's like she enjoys putting me down or something.
Anyways sometimes I think I'm getting too worried about what's ahead but I need to worry don't I? Because this isn't going to be easy and I don't know what I'm going to do with my life.