Do you think its normal to 'fancy' other people?

Anonymous5

[FONT=&quot]Do you think its normal to ‘fancy’ other people, even when you are in a long term relationship? I’m engaged for the last two years, and love my fiancé very much. He makes me very happy. We are getting married next year, and I can’t wait to be his wife. But lately, there has been this guy at work that I fancy. I like talking to him, and my heart beats a little faster when I talk to him. I don’t actually want to do anything with him, but I feel guilty for even having these feelings. [/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]Do you think its normal to be attracted to other people?[/FONT]

AnonoBoy

Anonymous5 wrote: »

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[FONT=&quot]Do you think its normal to be attracted to other people?[/FONT]

Yes. Everyone does it and the people who say they don't are most likely liars.

You can't control who you fancy.

You can however control what you do about it.

LegacyUser

Hello OP.

It is perfectly normal. I am a little suprised/shocked that as someone old enough to be engaged and contemplating marriage you wouldn't have been aware of that.

Marriage is hard work. It requires willpower by both parties. Both of ye will be attracted to and get on well with various members of the opposite sex over the next 60 or 70 years. Thats an occupational hazard of being alive!

Getting married amongst other things means sacrificing being with other people. To even the most blissful of soulmates there is still work involved. It doesn't all just magically stay a fairytale automatically.

If you are serious about your fiance, be pleasant to this other guy but distance yourself from him. Thats what is involved in monogamy. Steer clear of temptation.

The same thing will happen from time to time to both your husband to be and youself. What is important is how you deal with it.

Good luck

krudler

Anonymous5 wrote: »

[FONT=&quot]Do you think its normal to ‘fancy’ other people, even when you are in a long term relationship? I’m engaged for the last two years, and love my fiancé very much. He makes me very happy. We are getting married next year, and I can’t wait to be his wife. But lately, there has been this guy at work that I fancy. I like talking to him, and my heart beats a little faster when I talk to him. I don’t actually want to do anything with him, but I feel guilty for even having these feelings. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Do you think its normal to be attracted to other people?[/FONT]

Course its normal, in case you're not aware, theres probably people your future husband fancies as well, its human nature to be attracted to other people, not acting on it is the real test of a relationship

Faith

Hell yeah it's normal! I have loads of little crushes and I'm in a long term relationship. It does no harm because I would never take it any further.

Scráib

That's just human nature, don't go beating yourself up about the way you're wired to work!

Anonoboy makes the most valid point though, it doesn't matter about having a small crush, but it does matter about what you do about it. Far away hills always look greener!

cafecolour

It's normal. Bring the sexual energy back to your partner. Just don't shout out anyone elses name in bed

LegacyUser

cafecolour wrote: »

It's normal. Bring the sexual energy back to your partner.

+1

fancying someone is the most natural thing in the world besides loving someone. it's your body, brain and heart expressing itself as a sexual being and should only serve to reinforce the commitment you have to your partner. you chose him and you obviously love him, don't fret about distractions because ultimately that's all they are.

seahorse

It's normal to fancy other people but I would be worried if I found myself fancying people left, right and centre! I guess it's a matter of degree. I've only met one other person who'd have interested me since I've been with my bloke so it wasn't hard to turn down one person in seven years, but if I was someone who fancied every second man I met I suppose that would make things a good deal harder!

LegacyUser

Hi op I have been in your situtation recently and am also due to marry next year. I know its hard not to think of this new person mainly cause you see them everyday but do you think he feels this way about you. I made the mistake of telling a co worker that i fancied a mutual friend and this got around the workplace. Everyone knows I am getting married next year and now look like I did something even though nothing happened. The girl I fancied doesnt know how I feel but I am just waiting for someone to tell her. My GF is the best person for me and I do love her very much and I do feel really bad about having feelings for my co-worker. I know its only a natural thing to feel like i have a crush on my co-worker. I do enjoy spending time with them and I do fantastise us together but its only that a fantasy. Enjoy spending the hols with your bf, try (and i know its hard) to distance yourself from your co worker. More than once this could happen in your life but if you put the effort with your BF I am sure you will be fine. Best of luck and happy christmas.:)


Then again what do i know;)

martdalto

It's perfectly normal - We don't suddenly turn blind to everyone else in the world, and attractive people don't stop being attractive just because we're with someone. We do, however, (usually!) stop wanting to do anything with anyone else.

It's normal to fancy someone, feel a little flutter of excitement whatever.. but it's not normal to "love" them, or want to take things any further.

You sound like you're in the right place, and feeling the right natural feelings. And as someone else mentioned, your intended, will at some stage feel the same about another girl!

It's natural.

advicewhore

OP, it is normal to be attracted to other people BUT when you start trying to catch that persons attention, flirting with them etc, and really wondering and caring what they think about you or whether they are interested in you too...that is when you cross the line

Anonymous5

Thanks for all the replies everyone. I know its normal but still feel bad! I don't ever think about this other person outside work, and I don't ever think about us together so i think its just innocent attraction.

I think sometimes it easy to be atttracted to someone like that. You don't much about them thing, things that would annoy you, there bad habits, in-laws etc!