Problem

JJ009

Posted this up on a different forum but it's probably more suited to here.

Hi,

I've set up a new account as I really don't want anyone to know who I am. I cannot believe that I am actually posting this considering my account balance yesterday showed €2500.

It all started a few months ago when I threw some money into my account. Started off slowly but after a while I built it up to around 500. This soon became 1000 and a few weeks ago it was 2700. But yesterday it all went wrong. I placed a 500 euro bet in the afternoon but this did not work out. Attempting to recover this loss I layed a team at 2.26 for around 600 euro to try and get this back. This team won and I was panicking at this stage. Balance of roughly 1300 and in a desperate attempt to regain some of this I placed 1000 on over 2.5 goals in the Valencia match. Of course it was 0-0 at ht and I bailed out here to leave me with a balance of 700. I then managed to have one more bet that also did not win which left me with a final balance of 360. From 2500 to 360 in the space of 6 hours.

I'm sitting here in work and I'm totally depressed about this. I don't know how this happened. Worst of all I was snappy to my girlfriend earlier and she thought she did something wrong I woke up this morning contemplating putting another 2k back in to my account.

I'm so upset about this. Had plans to go away in the new year etc, was all going well. What the hell do I do? I honestly cannot focus at all here in work today.

Thanks for reading.

Dizzyblonde

I'm so sorry for you but I think the best thing you can do is learn from this and stop gambling or it will just escalate until you ruin your life. Close the account, and if you can't do it and think you may be addicted, then seek help. Be open with your girlfriend because secrets will make it worse.
I know it probably seems as though you're in a terrible mess right now but it could be so much worse. All that matters is that you break the cycle of gambling.
Good luck.

ash23

What do you do? Learn a hard lesson, thats what.
Gambling is a mugs game and you should never bet more than you can afford to lose as thats when it stops being fun and starts being a problem.

Withdraw whats left in the account and close it and stay away from gambling for a while. You're considering throwing more money after bad and that should be ringing alarm bells for you. It's affecting work and your relationship. Hello? Realise this for what it is. A dip into a gambling problem.

Quit while you still can.

kmick

How much did you put in originally. I would suggest withdrawing that amount now and quitting while you are not behind. You cant beat a bookie in the long run.

Miss Fluff

The first step is to close your Betfair account and vow never to gamble again. There is nothing you can do to recoup your losses (gambling what's left certainly is not the answer) so just see it as a harsh life lesson and stay away from gambling of any sort.

JJ009

I put in around 300 originally but that was months ago, a lot of work went in to building that up.

I know I need to stop but I think that easier said that done since I've been gambling for the last 8 or 9 years.

I'd just take a break mate. 6 months or so. No need to give it up altogether

Sir Ophiuchus

Papa Smut wrote: »

I'd just take a break mate. 6 months or so. No need to give it up altogether

I'm going to disagree here. In my own experience, the only way to resolve a problem with gambling (and the OP's posts imply he thinks he has one) is to stop entirely. You have to just stop.

OP, what are you depressed about? Losing? Overreacting and throwing yourself into this more and more? Letting it affect your relationship with your girlfriend?

From what you said (please correct me if I'm wrong) you've only lost money you'd won by gambling anyway. You've had a wake-up call as to how dangerous this could be (what if you gambled more and lost a rent or mortgage payment?) and can tell yourself in the future not to go down this route.

Talk to the girlfriend and explain why you were upset. Close the account. Seek help quitting if you need to. But stop.

JJ009

I have tried to stop before, successfully too I might add. There's a six month exclusion option on my account and I've used it before and actually took more than six months off from betting.

Depressed about all three to be honest. But one thing that does annoy me is that I had plans to go off on trips etc but of course these won't be happening now.

MissFlitworth

Don't put any money back into your betfair account for starters or you'll be going from no trips in the new year to no money for rent/bills/food in the new year. If I were you I'd apologise to your girlfriend, explain what happened, take the remaining €360 from your account and treat the pair of you to something nice to cheer both of you up. I can understand it's absolutely sickening to see that amount of money disappear so quickly but as long as it was yours to use and you don't owe it to anyone or need it for anything it's not that bad. Just take a break from the whole thing and don't throw money you actually do need to live off after it.

MissMotivated

JJ009 wrote: »

I'm so upset about this. Had plans to go away in the new year etc, was all going well. What the hell do I do? I honestly cannot focus at all here in work today.

What the hell do you do? well first you should realise you're addicted to gambling and that's the real problem here not that you can't go away in the New Year!! Seriously Op close the betting account, tell your girlfriend all about it and get some help, before you end up losing everything trying to win back what you've lost!

Kauto

Dont listen to these fools. A few bets and they go on about you being addicted. Dont chase losses. I have been there myself but you just learn from your mistakes. Take a week off and get back into it. Seriously some people are unreal. A bet is not a bet unless it hurts when u lose! That way u dont throw ure money away lightly

Danniboo

Kauto wrote: »

Dont listen to these fools. A few bets and they go on about you being addicted. Dont chase losses. I have been there myself but you just learn from your mistakes. Take a week off and get back into it. Seriously some people are unreal. A bet is not a bet unless it hurts when u lose! That way u dont throw ure money away lightly

Are you for real you don't think throwing over 2k on bets is a problem. He said himself been gambling for 9 years. Seriously, youre a fool if you believe the rubbish you've typed.

MissMotivated

Kauto wrote: »

Dont listen to these fools. A few bets and they go on about you being addicted. Dont chase losses. I have been there myself but you just learn from your mistakes. Take a week off and get back into it. Seriously some people are unreal. A bet is not a bet unless it hurts when u lose! That way u dont throw ure money away lightly

the Op said he's been gambling for the last 8 or 9 years, i'm sure that amounts to alot more than a few bets,and the point is he did chase losses which resulted in him throwing away his money lightly!

Kauto

Ive been betting for 15 years. Lost €500 on a bet yesterday. Won €5,000 last week. Was up €40,000 last year. Am down €10,000 this year. Am i a gambling Addict? Do i have a problem? Some people would think a person had a gambling problem if they had 1 bet a week. I could give up gambling if i wanted but i dont want to because i am good at it and i love doing it. Sometimes i lose and am in bad form sometimes i win and am in good form. But to come on here and say he is a problem gambler is a bit of a joke.

shinny

I think your biggest risk at this moment in time is you trying to recover the losses. Yes, you could have gone away on that money, but it's gone now so let it be. It's just too risky to mess around with betting. The thrill of it can be too much for some people and I think, by what you've said, you are hooked on that thrill.

As for your girlfriend, be honest with her. She shouldn't have to think your humor is because of her. It's not really fair and besides, I think you could do with her support now.

MissMotivated

Kauto - Of course you are going to say you could give up if you wanted to! I would class you as having a gambling problem also but we're not here to talk about you, the Op is asking for advice and we are giving our opinions

Kauto

Ure having a laugh? By ure interpretation a person who has 1 drink 2 or 3 times a week is an alcoholic. Half the population must have a gambling problem.

seamus

To be fair OP, it doesn't sound like you're looking for anything in particular here. You enjoy gambling, you've been doing it for a long time, so you have two options - give it up or suck it up.

So you've lost just over €2k yesterday. **** happens, that's the name of the gambling game. You'll get sympathy from other gamblers but if you're still going on about your loss this time tomorrow even they'll be telling you to cop on and get over it. You're not really going to get a whole pile of sympathy from non-gamblers because as far as I can see, you're up €60. You lost money you never had in the first place. You played the game, you lost, get over it.

MissMotivated

Kauto wrote: »

Ure having a laugh? By ure interpretation a person who has 1 drink 2 or 3 times a week is an alcoholic. Half the population must have a gambling problem.

Where did I mention anything about a person having 1 or 2 drinks being an alcoholic? Absolutely nowhere! But if someone was drinking 7 days a week I would be likely to think they have a problem yes, just like someone who gambles large amounts of money on a regular basis. It's easy to say they can stop anytime.
Anyway Op i hope you work things out and it doesn't escalate for you

Danniboo

Kauto wrote: »

Ure having a laugh? By ure interpretation a person who has 1 drink 2 or 3 times a week is an alcoholic. Half the population must have a gambling problem.

Listen mate, my mam is an alcoholic and she doesn't drink everyday. I also have a relative who had a gambling problem and I know what it can do to families. Its no skin off my nose if you're gonna insult people and not listen to peoples advice. Its not me who has the problem.

The Recliner

OK this is an emotive issue for some people but please don't take it out on each other

Stop throwing terms like "fools" around the place and use less inflammatory language and it will be better for everyone

This is just a general warning, try and stick to what the Op wants to discuss

Stu77

If the OP built the money up in his Betfair account over a few months then hes only lost what he won. Yeah, its hard to take at the moment OP but hopefully it will be a lesson learnt. Split your betting bank up into 100 units and only bet 1 unit per bet. Discipline is the other way you'll get that money back and if you can't be disciplined it might be best to knock the gambling on the head or leave 100 euros in your account for small fun bets.

kennyb3

OP, i think the most important thing you should consider is the effect that gambling win or lose has on your quality of life. I use to win quite a bit of money but i gave up gambling for many reasons including

1. my moods - highs/lows. as already mentioned you ve already taken one loss out on your gf. this im sure will be one of many.

2. my obsessive nature - id think about horse racing 24/7, even when in the pub or on a night out. its all id want to talk about. I'd spend hours infront of a laptop and tv not saying a word to family and hushing people when they came into a room. this is no way to live. its an isolated life.

3. id missing going running, to the gym or whatever just to watch racing. id spend saturdays and sundays in the bookies. the rest of my life suffered.

even if you do win (which most people dont esp in the long run) being into gambling will be to the detrimannt of the rest of your life as winning requires vast amounts of time and effort.

all the while you ll always wonder if you have an addiction or not (as i once did - thankfully not) and feel generally down on yourself and wonder what your doing with your life and where all the gambling will end or how you ll stop. just one more bet... sound familiar. gambling is driven by greed!! you ll never be satisfied and will keep on gambling until you eventually lose.


i now have infinite more self esteem, more time and believe im being a better person. i may have less money than before at least now i know what money i have each month - not €500 one month and €3000 the next.

i can plan holidays, save for a house.

Im not gloating but i do want you to see from someone who has changed why to do so and how you will benefit.

win or lose you should consider the other factors. gambling is a lonely world imo.

go seek help.

Best of luck

Brian

Overheal

If you have thousands to gamble you should really be playing the Stock Market not the Horse Races. Get in touch with a Broker who can set you up trading and give you help and advice on best practices.

LegacyUser

You've only lost the money you won in the first place. It's a pi$$er and annoying, but that's life. Learn your lesson, never EVER chase and never bet more than you are willing to lose - just because your account was up doesn't mean you start upping your stakes. If you've been betting that long and haven't learned those lesson then you've either been lucky or not been betting much. If you have "learned" those lessons before but haven't heeded them, THEN maybe you have a problem. Otherwise it's just a tough situation but not a problem, despite what many are saying here. Of course you are snappy and annoyed, you've lost out on a bonus, in essense. Deal with it.

LegacyUser

OP the fact that you're posting here implies that you're concerned about your gambling & you should use this as a wake up call.

I've witnessed first hand the effects of a gambling addiction on a family and it's devastating. If you feel you cant control your gambiling please stop straight away.

hungryhippo

It was a dangerous loss of control and you should not be gambling if you are prone to do that. YOu could easily have continued and made further deposits yesterday chasing what you had lost.

Presumably you had a set of rules/system for yourself and were disciplined in managing to build the money over time like that?

Gamblers never win, even when they win. If they lose the bet, they are pissed off, if they win the bet, they are pissed of that they didn't put more on and vow not to make the same mistake with the next bet.

Chinafoot

JJ009 wrote: »

I woke up this morning contemplating putting another 2k back in to my account.

I'm so upset about this. Had plans to go away in the new year etc, was all going well. What the hell do I do? I honestly cannot focus at all here in work today.

So you're so upset about the money you've lost that you're contemplating throwing another 2k away?? That makes loads of sense...

Look, I'm not going to preach about gambling but I'll be honest and say that putting more money into your account when you've already lost money you were relying on for your trip would be a very, very foolish move.

Tell your girlfriend the trip is off and learn from your mistakes here. The phrase quit while your ahead is key.

mikemac

OP I have been there

When I was a student I got €56 per week in a grant and that my income.
I lost €600 on the Masters golf.
Now say I'm on €800 per week and that's pretty much the equivalent of over 7k I lost.

I puked in my toilet that evening. And bar the annual €10 bet on the Grand National have never bet again
May be a time to look at abstinence OP

Mellor

kmick wrote: »

How much did you put in originally. I would suggest withdrawing that amount now and quitting while you are not behind. You cant beat a bookie in the long run.

Of course you can

Overheal wrote: »

If you have thousands to gamble you should really be playing the Stock Market not the Horse Races. Get in touch with a Broker who can set you up trading and give you help and advice on best practices.

That is nonsense, he had 300, not thousands. The stock market is no less risky for a person with a self control problem and prone to chase.

hungryhippo wrote: »

Gamblers never win, even when they win. If they lose the bet, they are pissed off, if they win the bet, they are pissed of that they didn't put more on and vow not to make the same mistake with the next bet.

Again, nonsense.



OP, you are only out of pocket by 300, I know the betfair account said otherwise, but you never owned that money.

Get over it. Move on etc

Overheal

Its only Only 300 euro when you havent spent the money.

Had plans to go away in the new year etc, was all going well. What the hell do I do? I honestly cannot focus at all here in work today.

Fine to say oh this is my gambling slush fund.... but then you say Oh lets take 2k of it and go on vacation next year: well son, you should have banked the vacation money. Cos I bet that hurt.

The stock market is no less risky for a person with a self control problem and prone to chase.

that we can agree on.

Stu77

The stock market is fraught with difficulties. Gambling is fraught with difficulties but both are just a numbers game. You can make or lose a substantial amount of money in the Stock Market or Gambling. Anybody with a bit of discipline or and an edge can make a living gambling or Trading on Betfair so for anybody who thinks that investing in the stock market is the better way to make money i have to strongly disagree. It depends on your knowledge of either market and your mindset, not relying on a broker to invest your money in the stock market and rip you off with expensive commission charges whether you make money or not.

The OP has shown that he can build his bank up but unfortunately made a rash decision and gave most of it back. Does he have a gambling problem? I doubt it. Put it down to experience and don't get greedy and you'll build the bank back up OP.

Siogfinsceal

look you need to decide what you want more - not to feel like you do this morning or to keep gambling. If you felt badly enough about what you have done and what you will miss out on because of it you would give up. Close the account today and get help with your gambling problem

You wasted 2k yesterday needlessly - in an economy where most people are lucky to have enough money to live off let alone spend on expensive holidays or throwing away on betting. You are better to stop gambling now before you end up with nothing left to gamble