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Sexually repressed

  • 19-12-2009 11:24pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I have grown up with the belief that I shouldn't express my sexuality. Even when girls come onto me, I am shy and nervous and don't act on it.

    Recently, there has been an unplanned pregnancy in the family which has put more pressure on me not to make the same mistake (read: ideally, not to become involved with women and to have sex). Overt public displays of affection make me uncomfortable because I feel like I am being judged.

    Are there any books or anything which would help me to embrace my natural masculine sexuality, and stop feeling uncomfortable about it? I want to leave this fear of being a sexual man behind me forever, it has had a negative effect on my life for far too long now.

    Thanks alot!


Comments

  • #2
    Kevster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,980 ✭✭✭Kevster


    I'm only going to respond to what you said in your middle paragraph - i.e. when you said that you feel as if you are being 'judged'. Who is judging you?; or do you actually mean that you just feel that people are staring at you, in general? Maybe this is just a heightened sense of awareness, which many people have.

    Kevin


  • #3
    Rhamiel
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 155 ✭✭Rhamiel


    I was prob the same as you a while back and i dealt with with it by just stoppin to care what people thought etc. and doin a bit of mad lady chasin :P
    Dunno if u can relate but I think wit myself it was also a case of thinkin i should have more respect for girls than to usher my sexual advances on them ha... which was bit silly but suppose i was jus younger and more innocent to realize they loved it really lol.
    I suppose the irish are comin out of being quite a sexually repressed culture so i think its common enuf feelin among alot of lads.
    It say jus not to worry, chill and jus act ina way that ur comfortable with and enjoy :)


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    The judgement I feel is from anyone around me, (and is a figment of my imagination of course, but still extremely powerful),

    Why are they doing that here? That's inappropriate
    Why did he choose a girl like her?
    Why did she choose a guy like him?
    He doesn't deserve to be doing that with her


    Thoughts like that race through my mind and make me really anxious in that situation


  • #5
    RossFixxxed
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,102 ✭✭✭RossFixxxed


    First off trying to live up to what you think other's expectations are is a recipie for disaster!

    Secondly you are projecting YOUR insecurities onto other people

    Why are they doing that here? That's inappropriate
    Why did he choose a girl like her?
    Why did she choose a guy like him?
    He doesn't deserve to be doing that with her


    This reads:

    I don't deserver to 'do that' here, and am jealous.
    Why would I choose someone I think is better than me
    No girl will ever choose me
    I don't deserve to do that with a girl

    Seriously man your issues are in your head and with yourself. Forget pulling/scoring etc when you go out, you need to work ON YOU for the next while.


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