anyone else alone on Christmas?

carina88

Hello im a 21 year old girl living in Cork. This year i will be on my own for christmas, my family want nothing to do with me. I have a bf, but he is going home for christmas, he knows il be on my own but hasnt tried to comfort me or ask why my family dont want me. Just feel so alone in this, have no friends either to go to. is there anyone in a similar situation?

LegacyUser

Why are you alone ? why do your family want nothing to do with you?

eviltwin

If he knows you'll be alone and hasnt bothered to ask why let alone invite you to his family's then he's not much of a boyfriend. Why would you want to be with someone like that?

carina88

jewels that wrote: »

Why are you alone ? why do your family want nothing to do with you?

Earlier this year I reported my father for abusing me, my mother refuses to believe me, and the rest dont want to hear, Thought me telling would bring our family closer instead im alone, recently been told my case wont go to court lost everything for nothing.

IamwhoIam!

Hi Carina88,

I am nearly in the same boat. I am with the family for Christmas, but since my father died, it has never been the same. My mates will be around and we will go out, but they live abroad so will be alone again after that. Also my Ex broke up with me 6 weeks ago, so all that was planned has gone.
So you are not alone, I feel alone too, I guess.
I just view it as another day. One you don't have to get up for work the next day and can watch bad films, but still just a date. Try to find something to keep you busy and take your mind of things.
I don't even know it this helps. My advice might not be the best or might not be writen well.

You could always buy yourself lots of gifts and spoil yourself.

I think eviltwin is right. What kind of boyfriend leaves you alone at Christmas.

Chinafoot

I'll be by myself too. My sister has been treating me like muck for a long time and I had enough. She's been privately nasty but doesn't let on to my parents. I told my folks i'm staying away this christmas and now I'm the bad guy.

Its just one day. People build it up into some super important day, but think about it. Its a day of eating, watching tv and dozing off......wow...how amazing!!! Its a nothing day.

I sy enjoy the peace, thats what i plan to do!

LegacyUser

carina88 wrote: »

Earlier this year I reported my father for abusing me, my mother refuses to believe me, and the rest dont want to hear, Thought me telling would bring our family closer instead im alone, recently been told my case wont go to court lost everything for nothing.

Aww Carina, thats awful i know the pain of ousting abuse and not getting the justice you deserve with it, I went to group therapy for sexual abuse survivors and all the girls who told and ousted the abuse were rejected and ostracized from their families, one girl very similar to you needed the family to acknowledge the abuse to go further with it in court and they refused leaving her case dead, she was not allowed up to her house again, over the year i was in therapy with her the mother would meet with her on the side but would never acknowledge anything, what i found was interesting though was that the mother stopped sharing a room with the father and even though she didnt believe the daughter she must have had some feeling not to sleep with him but she carried on with the rest of their life as normal.


It is so unjust, I am in the same boat, no family, father is a molester, mother battered and abused me and left when i was 18, my sisters wont speak to me because i spoke the truth about the abuse and they didnt want to acknowledge it, so i have been on my own for the last 15 years, i have a great boyfriend now and he is very supportive we both did a lot of work on ourselves in therapy and grew our self esteem, you could do that too because you deserve to be around good people. You dont have to be defined by your past and 2010 could be a fresh start for you! Your better off without them and the best revenge on them is to find your own happiness.

I think you should spoil yourself in any way you can, get yourself a big dvd box set and settle in for a day of peace and relaxation, cook yourself a little chicken and make your own little christmas!

Well what would you like to do?

XXX all the best xxx

pookie82

Are there any local soup houses (if that's what you call them) charities or shelters who need volunteers to help give the homeless a Christmas dinner nearby? I know they do it in Dublin, not sure about Cork.

If so it could be great to volunteer to help out. That way you do something nice for others and you're not alone for the day.

LegacyUser

I'll (probably) be alone for Christmas. I'm about 10 yrs older than you but have had lots of different kinds of Christmas - alone, working, with family, on tropical island, off head on drugs!... its only one year and personally this year will rather be with someone I like (me) than people I can't really kick back around (family/ex-boyfriend) so not a problem.

There is nothing wrong with your on company. Your 21, you probably haven't even met the people who will be important in your life yet, so just chill out and enjoy this time.

LegacyUser

carina88 wrote: »

Hello im a 21 year old girl living in Cork. This year i will be on my own for christmas, my family want nothing to do with me. I have a bf, but he is going home for christmas, he knows il be on my own but hasnt tried to comfort me or ask why my family dont want me. Just feel so alone in this, have no friends either to go to. is there anyone in a similar situation?

Me too and i am older than you. Do not get on with family, no gf, but have my own house so i do not care

Do you get gifts or buy any for friends?

NBar

Same boat myself, recently seperated so will only see the kids for half hour on xmas morning and the rest of the time spent on my own, broke up with girlfriend a week ago as I have too much **** going on in my life according to her and her family did not approve of me either. My own family want nothing to do with me either so just wish I was working over xmas and not looking at a blank wall:(

Varyn

Why hasn't your boyfriend invited you? Sorry but I think that's a bit out of line. My boyfriend doesn't get on with his family and lives alone even though he's only 19 and he's spending christmas with me and my family. I wouldn't dream of letting him spend it by himself. I agree with eviltwin and IamwhoIam - why would you want to be with someone like that?

Having said that if you do end up by yourself don't be upset!! You can do whatever you want! Just think - you can eat all your favourites out of the tin of roses without anyone stealing them! Just curl up with some movies, relax and enjoy yourself