Dilemma

LegacyUser

I feel funny posting here about my problems, but have been finding it really hard talking to anybody about my relatioinship problem so just want to have a little vent and advice. I have been with my boyfriend around 3 and 1/2 years now. We're living together about six months at this stage and I love him to bits. The problem lies with the big steps and our future.

My boyfriend is a great guy and I know that he loves me, he just has these really great highs where everything is the best in the world but going with those highs he can be really moody. In reality he is quite a negative glass half full kind of guy. So one minute he's talking about getting married, having kids and teasing about proposing (nothing initiated by me) and then comes the eventual freak out where he just breaks down and tells me that he has doubts about our relationship. He spirals into these episodes of negative thinking every once in a while where he views that everything in his life is going wrong and then projects this on to our relationship. The most recent one was about 2 months ago where he got a pay cut in work. Then when we talk through our relationship we come to the eventual conclusion that everything is going really well and the freak outs usually end up with him being on a high really excited about the future and me reeling from everything that he has said on the spur of the moment. I think lots of it boils down to the fact that he is scared of failure - even though he is excited about the thoughts of marriage and kids the thoughts of failure bother him so much that sometimes he doesn't even want to think about trying. I've stuck by him until now through all these difficulties because when it comes back to it I really love him and I know he loves me. I guess I am just scared that it's going to be a viscious circle with us not really going anywhere, or that eventually he will freak out so much that it'll just all be over (it very nearly was the last time). I really want to believe that we'll happen long term, but its got to the stage where I am scared to think that way.

My dilemma lies in the fact that I have recently been offerred a senior position in work in another part of the country that I turned down because I want to work on us long term. Although I turned this down I probably have an opportunity to take another senior position about 2 hours from where we are based. If I took this senior position it would be very hard to move back here due to limited opportunities where I'm based. He can's move because he's farming so if I take it I feel I'm really moving away from us. I have been mulling it over in my head and really don't know what to do? Do I stick with working on my relationship or am I fighting for something that won't work and should I move for this new job opportunity. It would mean moving away from friends, family etc but it would be a completely new start. It scares me too because all my friends are in long term relationships. My heart tells me stay and my head is fifty fifty. Just want to know has anyone else ever been in this position. Should my head or heart win out?