I need confirmation that the too good to be true is true!

Rock n Roll

Based on the events recounted below, is it more than safe to believe that my coworker digs me? I just want to make sure I’m not deluding myself before I ask this girl out AGAIN.

Background: At my new job, I'm training at the moment. From the very start, my coworker has been giving me constant eye peeps, smiles, and laughing at even the lamest jokes. After three days, I pulled the trigger and asked her out in a bid to avoid the Friend's Zone. She was shocked and didn't say yes (no wasn’t uttered), so I put it on ice for a while. Things have heated up again and today was pretty cool. Here’s what went down:

I was being trained by my fellow coworkers for about an hour before she pretty much isolated me by offering to teach me. For the next 5 hours we were at each others side joking around (laughing at some of my lamest stuff hahaha), making fun of each other, arguing points of philosophy and what not. One of our coworkers said, in a subtly funny way said to me and her, "you're the only one she's been talking to today. When you're not here tomorrow, she won't have anyone to talk to!" On top of that, she gave me constant looks and smiles. It's been a while since I actually enjoyed myself this much around a person. We even had lunch together One of the topics being our favorite kind of sex. When I went to leave to get back to work she said with a raised voice "WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!" Unlike any other person I've met, she took a sincere interest in one my favorite classic rock bands. I always offer anyone a mix cd in a bid to spread the sound, so naturally I did the same her. She wants one!

I know this might seem a lil obvious, but I've had some very tough breaks with chicks, so a general consensus would really calm the nerves and give me some steel -especially since I already asked her out already!

ash23

It does sound as though she likes you. But then again, you're reading a lot into the small stuff. Like her having asking where you were going and her taking a mixed cd you offered.

I'd ask her out again. But maybe in a more subtle way so that she doesn't go into defensive mode. She may have just been surprised when you asked. Maybe organise for a few of you to go for drinks after work.

Everything you said indicates that she likes you but my cynical side says she may be just the type who likes knowing people fancy her and is encouraging you to massage her own ego. But I'm a cynical cow so pay no heed to me

kenbrady

she pretty much isolated me by offering to teach me.
Part of her job to teach you, how did she isolate you, tell everyone else to leave as she wants to be alone with you.

For the next 5 hours we were at each others side joking around (laughing at some of my lamest stuff hahaha), making fun of each other, arguing points of philosophy and what not.
No for the next 5 hours she was teaching you how to do the job

One of our coworkers said, in a subtly funny way said to me and her, "you're the only one she's been talking to today. When you're not here tomorrow, she won't have anyone to talk to!"
subtly, funny, maybe he had some other issue he was making a point about

On top of that, she gave me constant looks and smiles.
did anyone else look or smile at you in work

It's been a while since I actually enjoyed myself this much around a person.
maybe you are lonely and are reading more into this

We even had lunch together
was it just the 2 of you in a romantic candle lit restaurant

One of the topics being our favorite kind of sex.
more of a topic you discuss with mates rather than someone you fancy

When I went to leave to get back to work she said with a raised voice "WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!"
could mean anything

Unlike any other person I've met, she took a sincere interest in one my favorite classic rock bands.
again the lonely and not meeting people you click with, this is all you not her

I always offer anyone a mix cd in a bid to spread the sound, so naturally I did the same her. She wants one!
You offered her something and she accepted pretty standard behavior


You asked her out and you didn't go on a date, but she didn't say no ?
Everything you described could be totally normal behavior for her, but you are reading more into it.
What has changed between now and when you first asked her out ?

dublingal80

well you asked her out recently and it does sound like she is flirting with you, but people flirt a lot and it can mean nothing

try and arrange for a few of you, including herself, to go to the pub for a few drinks today or at some stage next week. this way you can get to know her better out side of work, have a laugh with your work friends and her and see how you get on out side of work, and take it from there.

LegacyUser

O.K I just want to start off by saying the best person to judge in this sitaution is you. I've gotten some excellent advice on this forum but I have also got a general consensus of advice that turned out to be completely wrong. The best anyone can do here is make a quess.

Now my quess is this,
Yes she likes you and enjoys your company but that doesn't mean she fancies you. If she does fancy you that doesnt mean she will go out with you as she may not want to pursue an office relationship.

Now I need you to step back and think for a minute. Have you been over analyizing this situation? Her job is to train you personally, isolating you in order to help you learn is a very standard procedure. Once again smiles and looks are quite common amongst people you like but not confined to people you are attracted to sexually. Having lunch with a co worker is also very common. Once again this doesn't mean she fancies you she may just enjoy your company as a friend. Going for dinner outside of work hours would be more of an indicator.


O.K I'm not trying to put a dampener on anything just trying to be realistic. All those signs could just as easily be attributed to someone who is acting with a friendship not a relationship in mind.

Maybe she is sexually attracted to you, maybe not, but from what you wrote I don't think anything is very certain.

PopUp

Only one way to know for sure OP - ask her out again. If she says yes, all well and good. If she says no, you'll know for certain she's just a flirtatious headwrecker.

But do it soon! Don't let it drag on for ages and get your hopes up!

Miss Fluff

Rock n Roll wrote: »

After three days, I pulled the trigger and asked her out in a bid to avoid the Friend's Zone. She was shocked and didn't say yes (no wasn’t uttered), so I put it on ice for a while.

If she didn't say no and she didn't say yes, what did she say in response to you asking her out?

Rock n Roll

I should've been clear on this part: it's not her job. She's rather new and still making mistakes. In fact, if the main supervisor (the regular bosses don't give a toss) wasn't on vacation, it would have never happened.

As for the limbo between no and yes - a long, shocked pause to indicate - too fast.

shellyboo

If you fancy someone, there's no such thing as too fast, OP. You like her and didn't think it too fast - if she liked you she would have said yes.

Miss Fluff

Rock n Roll wrote: »

I should've been clear on this part: it's not her job. She's rather new and still making mistakes. In fact, if the main supervisor (the regular bosses don't give a toss) wasn't on vacation, it would have never happened.

As for the limbo between no and yes - a long, shocked pause to indicate - too fast.

How long are you in the job?

kenbrady

Rock n Roll wrote: »

As for the limbo between no and yes

You asked her out, you didn't go on a date it's a no.

Rock n Roll wrote: »

a long, shocked pause to indicate - too fast.

You are now able to read her mind and interpret what her shocked pauses mean

Based on the above I'm calling this as all in your head.

Beetlebum

Hmmm...I never really understand these kind of threads. How can you expect anyone on an internet forum who doesn't know either of you to tell you if she likes you?

Why don't you just bite the bullet and casually ask her out for a Christmas drink and if she says yes then go out and see how it goes...simple really..