Girlfriend Growing Distant?

LegacyUser

O.k so I txted my girlfriend on tuesday night saying I tried to ring her but she was probably asleep and goodnight, she didn't txt back. So the following day I sent her another txt asking if she wanted to do something the following day (today) she didn't reply, later that night I sent her a messege asking if she was annoyed or something as she hasnt been replying to my txts. Today I finally get a messege from her saying : I just didnt have time to reply. Have a nice day. I asked her if she wanted to do something tonight only to get : I'm not sure, working till late, I'll let you know.

Seems like shes beginning to get uninterested?
She normally always sends me txts saying good night and always replies especially if we havent seen each other for 2 days. Also her txts always contain lots of smilies and I found it very odd that these txts had none in them.

She had dinner with a male friend last night and didn't reply to me at all which I found odd because she knows how I dont completely feel comfortable with her having another male over for dinner in her house even if they are just friends.


Am I reading too much into this?

ManOfMystery

I know this may seem a bit crazy, but have you considered ringing her? I just find it strange that you may think she's losing interest, but instead of ringing her to see what's up you will only text her and consult message boards here for advice.

Not having a go by the way - just saying that surely speaking to her should be your first option.

Wurly

disto2 wrote: »

O.k so I txted my girlfriend on tuesday night saying I tried to ring her but she was probably asleep and goodnight, she didn't txt back. So the following day I sent her another txt asking if she wanted to do something the following day (today) she didn't reply, later that night I sent her a messege asking if she was annoyed or something as she hasnt been replying to my txts. Today I finally get a messege from her saying : I just didnt have time to reply. Have a nice day. I asked her if she wanted to do something tonight only to get : I'm not sure, working till late, I'll let you know.

Seems like shes beginning to get uninterested?
She normally always sends me txts saying good night and always replies especially if we havent seen each other for 2 days. Also her txts always contain lots of smilies and I found it very odd that these txts had none in them.

She had dinner with a male friend last night and didn't reply to me at all which I found odd because she knows how I dont completely feel comfortable with her having another male over for dinner in her house even if they are just friends.


Am I reading too much into this?

Well maybe just lay off the texts and actually call her. Ask her straight out what the story is. It does seem distant but she could have a good explanation. If she doesn't answer your call, leave it up to her to contact you again. Don't run after her.

LegacyUser

Sorry I should clarify I rang her twice, once on tuesday night and then last night but she didn't answer.

Wurly

disto2 wrote: »

Sorry I should clarify I rang her twice, once on tuesday night and then last night but she didn't answer.

Ah well then mate, you know what? You've done all you can for the time being. Don't be anyone's lap dog. Let her contact you now. I know that is potentially difficult but it beats the feeling of being ignored.

Barracudaincork

OP sorry if this will upset you but to me it sounds like she is no longer interested in you but its mature, respectful and honest enough to admit it, so she is using the classic i will ignore you till you tell me to get lost routine.

I dont think i have any extra talent than most, so i dont think i am alone if i said i can text while on the loo. In other words if i really wanted to talk to someone there would always be some point in the day i could, no matter how busy my day is.

LegacyUser

Yeah I think so too. She rang me on Tuesday night and I rang her back on a mates phone but said I couldn't talk long as it was on his credit and that I'd ring her when I got home. When I got home I rang her and she didnt answer. I just feel its such a cop out saying she didnt have time to send one measly txt. English isn't her first english so I dont know if that plays a factor in why her txts are so curt but the lack of smilies is really off putting (sounds so stupid saying that but I just know somethings up when her txts lack them)

Wurly

Barracudaincork wrote: »

OP sorry if this will upset you but to me it sounds like she is no longer interested in you but its mature, respectful and honest enough to admit it, so she is using the classic i will ignore you till you tell me to get lost routine.

I dont think i have any extra talent than most, so i dont think i am alone if i said i can text while on the loo. In other words if i really wanted to talk to someone there would always be some point in the day i could, no matter how busy my day is.

Yeah, OP. Sorry, but I think the above is correct.

You will always find the time to talk to someone that you want to be with. If you don't have the time, you're not interested enough. Simple as.

So please at the very least, take my advice. Don't contact her again. If you hear nothing, then be glad to be on your own rather than with a coward.

D-Generate

Hate to break it to you mate but she has lost interest. She just doesn't want to break up with you before Christmas so is doing this kind of relationship winding down method until 28th of December and then wham, you are on your own.

LegacyUser

Your probably right

We were with each other Monday night and she rang me Tuesday night but I remember I was kind of sharp with her (not in a nasty way just that I was on my friends credit so I was kind of like whats up you rang me) then she didnt answer later that night, didnt reply all wednesday and only today I get a very short reply.

Kind of weird that she would go from loving me Monday night to wanting to break up by Wednesday but I think the fact that she said she didnt have time to send one text on Wednesday a bit ridiculous. Like surely during her break on work or when she got home or before bed she could've sent something.

I've just spent a small fortune getting her these shoes she has been talking about for months and had to cancel a trip to Australia with my friends that I had been planning for months because she had been so down lately and I wanted to do something nice for her. I really feel like an idiot now, its very likely shes going to break up with me after christmas

Wurly

disto2 wrote: »

Your probably right

We were with each other Monday night and she rang me Tuesday night but I remember I was kind of sharp with her (not in a nasty way just that I was on my friends credit so I was kind of like whats up you rang me) then she didnt answer later that night, didnt reply all wednesday and only today I get a very short reply.

Kind of weird that she would go from loving me Monday night to wanting to break up by Wednesday but I think the fact that she said she didnt have time to send one text on Wednesday a bit ridiculous. Like surely during her break on work or when she got home or before bed she could've sent something.

I've just spent a small fortune getting her these shoes she has been talking about for months and had to cancel a trip to Australia with my friends that I had been planning for months because she had been so down lately and I wanted to do something nice for her. I really feel like an idiot now, its very likely shes going to break up with me after christmas

Saying 'I love you' is a very easy thing to say. If the actions aren't in sync with the words, then chances are, she doesn't love you at all. She's just a coward.

Really, it's better you know this now. Wouldn't you prefer to be with someone who genuinely loved you rather than someone who didn't? I know what i'd choose.

Sure it sucks now. But just keep yourself busy. It will pass. Knowledge is power. You know enough now to close the door and not look back.

Taltos

I wouldn't go jumping to any conclusions until you sit down and talk to her...

Texts, phone calls can all be misunderstood.
As you said you were sharp with her - if English is not her first language she might have thought you were angry etc - so who knows.

Try and get to see her for a coffee and a chat and scope out how she is.

LegacyUser

OP, are you sure she isn't p*ssed off with you over something?
TBH, it sounds like you said / did / didn't do something to upset her and she is reacting to it like this. It sounds very very like that famous female activity called "the silent treatment"!!! I don't think she has lost interest in you or wants to break up with you. The only way to find out is to ask her.

LegacyUser

I feel your pain. It's pretty crap not being replied to and shut/frozen out (actually it's really sh*tty and a real sh*tty way to treat someone) especially when you don't know what's happening.

Same thing happened to me. Loved me one minute then next, wouldn't talk to me or answer texts. She was Eastern European so maybe they do things differently there too and are somewhat less mature - sorry don't mean to generalise but this girl was 36 and her ability to face me or talk to me about it was astonishing.

And yes I did jump through hoops for her. Love makes you do such stoopid, stoopid things.
I just fell for the girl bad! Anyway, life goes on.

Having said that it's best to talk to her to get the definitive.

LegacyUser

she just rang me there to apologise for not txting. She says she was really upset yesterday about missing her family.

Kind of confusing? Like why would she ignore me just because she is upset?

Barracudaincork

disto2 wrote: »

she just rang me there to apologise for not txting. She says she was really upset yesterday about missing her family.

Kind of confusing? Like why would she ignore me just because she is upset?

Most people wouldnt ignore you if they are upset, but that doesnt mean everyone is like that. Maybe that is how she deals with her stuff in life, by going quite, into herself and thinking etc about it all and the last thing she wants to do is talk. Only you can know if this sounds like her or not.

However, even if this is the way she reacts, she should of still had manners and told you this at least, so that you could of given her the space and knew why you were doing so and so that you didnt have to get so worked up trying to work out what went wrong etc

OP, ask her if this is the way she deals with stuff, to let you know in future, because if you are to understand her and not be upset by her actions you need to know why she is being a certain way. By doing this she will know you are not trying to change her, but you also wont tolerate just being ignored.