need advice about a girl I like

antz182

Hey all, I'm pretty new to this forum but i thought I'd ask for advice, there's this girl I really like and we get on quite well, but I'm not sure how to tell her I like her or ask her out on a date, any help?

KrustyUCC

can you give more info OP?

bit hard to give specific advice without more detail

on the whole if you know her well that means that we should get the opportunity of some alone time. pick an event that you are going to and ask her if she wants to join you

antz182

im sorry what does more info OP mean?

KrustyUCC

can you give more info on the situation

things like age, how well ye know each other, has flirting been goin on

the more specifics you give the better the advice people here can give as they will have more to go on

antz182

ok well she's 21, im 22, we've known each other since we were 18 but only started really seeing each other in a friendly capacity recently, but she keeps asking me to go to the pub where she works and latley we started txting too, im not certain if she likes me or not but i know i like her

Wurly

antz182 wrote: »

ok well she's 21, im 22, we've known each other since we were 18 but only started really seeing each other in a friendly capacity recently, but she keeps asking me to go to the pub where i work and latley we started txting too, im not certain if she likes me or not but i know i like her

Would you keep asking someone to the pub if you didn't like them? Just go to the pub then, be yourself and get going from there. At the end of the night, arrange another meeting. Best of luck.;)

antz182

Trí wrote: »

Would you keep asking someone to the pub if you didn't like them? Just go to the pub then, be yourself and get going from there. At the end of the night, arrange another meeting. Best of luck.;)

well shes quite friendly u see, but she knows a lot of my friends too but it seems to be me she's talkin to most, i just dunno what to say to her without making it awkward

Wurly

antz182 wrote: »

well shes quite friendly u see, but she knows a lot of my friends too but it seems to be me she's talkin to most, i just dunno what to say to her without making it awkward

I know what you mean. Isn't it funny how we second guess ourselves so much when we like someone?:rolleyes:

But remember - she's asked you to the pub a few times. So she likes you. Irregardless of whether that be on a friendship or potential relationship level, the fact is, she likes you in some way...

And what does she like? Your personality. So basically, keep doing what you're doing. Just be friendly. Ask her about things she enjoys. Be interested in what she has to say. Keep the conversation light and fun. If you over think this, then you won't come across the way you'd like. Just keep reminding yourself that she likes you so really all you have to do is be yourself.

Instead of thinking how scared you are, why not choose to feel excited instead. This whole phase is really thrilling so enjoy it.

So do the above. Then arrange for another meet after the night in the pub. If she declines, she declines. You see, i'm just going on what you're telling me. But really, I wouldn't KEEP inviting someone to the pub if I didn't like them in some way.

Go for it. You have nothing to lose.

antz182

sorry i should have pointed out she works in the pub

shellyboo

You already did, antz.

Look - there is absolutely no way for you to find out if she likes you without putting yourself out there somehow. You have to face up to that. She's already made a move by inviting you to the pub - it's your turn now. Go to the pub, talk to her, ask her out. Then you'll know.

antz182

well i did it, i asked her over txt message this morning but i dunno what to make of her reply: "thanks for the invite, sorry but im kinda busy with work and im sick at the mo, maybe after xmas though" its true that shes up to the ying yangs with work and not feeling well but....well its not exactly a yes!

sporina

oh god, you like her and wanted to ask her out on a date and you texted her? No! Texting is defo not an appropriate way to ask someone out on a date.
She probably thinks you were just asking her out as a mate.
You need to ask her out on a date - face to face..

read the situation - next time you meet her and if its appropriate just ask her out - and not just to the pub for pints.

A girl likes a guy who is confident - so ask her out properly.

antz182

sporina wrote: »

oh god, you like her and wanted to ask her out on a date and you texted her? No! Texting is defo not an appropriate way to ask someone out on a date.
She probably thinks you were just asking her out as a mate.
You need to ask her out on a date - face to face..

read the situation - next time you meet her and if its appropriate just ask her out - and not just to the pub for pints.

A girl likes a guy who is confident - so ask her out properly.

but i dunno how to, thats why i asked here

sporina

antz182 wrote: »

but i dunno how to, thats why i asked here

you mean you have never asked a girl out?

antz182

oh i have but it usually ends in disaster, but i really like this girl and i want it to go well

sporina

antz182 wrote: »

oh i have but it usually ends in disaster, but i really like this girl and i want it to go well

ok, lets work through this.
I am sitting in tonight watchin the hangover for the 3rd time (not my choice) so I have the time.

Are you generally a shy person?
Does she know you like her romantically or does she think of you as a friend?

You need to be in a situation that allows you to talk to her on her own - can you arrange this? Like call in to her in work when things are quiet for me?
Do you know how to flirt?
Sorry about all the questions but I am not seeing what is so hard about asking someone out.
How have you approached this in the past and why has it turned into a disaster?

antz182

sporina wrote: »

ok, lets work through this.
I am sitting in tonight watchin the hangover for the 3rd time (not my choice) so I have the time.

Are you generally a shy person?
Does she know you like her romantically or does she think of you as a friend?

You need to be in a situation that allows you to talk to her on her own - can you arrange this? Like call in to her in work when things are quiet for me?
Do you know how to flirt?
Sorry about all the questions but I am not seeing what is so hard about asking someone out.
How have you approached this in the past and why has it turned into a disaster?

haha im in on my own too watchin weddin daze, eh im not sure if she thinks im a friend or not, she always touches my hand and stuff and just finds random excuses to talk to me! im really bad at flirtin i dunno how to!

sporina

antz182 wrote: »

haha im in on my own too watchin weddin daze, eh im not sure if she thinks im a friend or not, she always touches my hand and stuff and just finds random excuses to talk to me! im really bad at flirtin i dunno how to!

well its simple really - and i'm not being smart - just find an opportunity to chat to her on a one and one - smile a lot and accidently brush of her hand and stuff while chatting - read body language for +ve signs and if then say " hey, would you like to go go out sometime - just the two of us - maybe grab a bite to eat"...
real cool like.. you think you could manage it?

antz182

sporina wrote: »

well its simple really - and i'm not being smart - just find an opportunity to chat to her on a one and one - smile a lot and accidently brush of her hand and stuff while chatting - read body language for +ve signs and if then say " hey, would you like to go go out sometime - just the two of us - maybe grab a bite to eat"...
real cool like.. you think you could manage it?

no haha i dont think i could pull that off, i dunno how to read body lingo

sporina

antz182 wrote: »

no haha i dont think i could pull that off, i dunno how to read body lingo

whats the prob - there must be more to it?
body lingo as in - does she move closer to you when your chattin? Smiling at you? Brushing accidently against you when she laughs etc

antz182

sporina wrote: »

whats the prob - there must be more to it?
body lingo as in - does she move closer to you when your chattin? Smiling at you? Brushing accidently against you when she laughs etc

yea she does all that but i havent exactly asked a girl out since my ex left me 9 months ago and im kinda nervous - make that really nervous

sporina

antz182 wrote: »

yea she does all that but i havent exactly asked a girl out since my ex left me 9 months ago and im kinda nervous - make that really nervous

ok well just do it.. think to yourself "i'm a nice guy - she would be lucky to have me ask her out".. good luck.. but no text invites ok..

antz182

sporina wrote: »

ok well just do it.. think to yourself "i'm a nice guy - she would be lucky to have me ask her out".. good luck.. but no text invites ok..

ya ok, but waht about new years? should i go see her in the pub that night?

sporina

antz182 wrote: »

ya ok, but waht about new years? should i go see her in the pub that night?

whats the plan for new years? are you going out with your mates? she working?
whats the situation?

antz182

sporina wrote: »

whats the plan for new years? are you going out with your mates? she working?
whats the situation?

ill be out with mates i think but theres a party on in the pub where she works, not sure if shes workin or not yet but she'll be there, i was thinkin bout the whole midnight kiss thing

sporina

antz182 wrote: »

ill be out with mates i think but theres a party on in the pub where she works, not sure if shes workin or not yet but she'll be there, i was thinkin bout the whole midnight kiss thing

go for it!! be cool - be confident and assertive..
but if it does not happen dont loose faith -
oh and i know i said texting is wrong when asking her out on a date but you could text her casually asking her what are her plans for new years eve.. just so she knows you are interested..

antz182

yea i might txt her tomorrow and ask, just hope she replies and realises im interested and not just tryin to be friendly

sporina

antz182 wrote: »

yea i might txt her tomorrow and ask, just hope she replies and realises im interested and not just tryin to be friendly

well she may see it as being friendly but you have to change that by asking her out..
you could just call her and ask her to meet you for a coffer or something in the mean time?
why are you so afraid?

antz182

because i really like her and im worried she'll say no, im not exactly good at dealing with rejections, plus i havent been with anyone in 9months, after a 3yr relationship

sporina

antz182 wrote: »

because i really like her and im worried she'll say no, im not exactly good at dealing with rejections, plus i havent been with anyone in 9months, after a 3yr relationship

if she says no, take it on the chin... but you wont know unless you go for it..
we get no where in life if we dwell on failing.. there are always risks and a chance we will not get what we want but you have to try. and make it a little easier on yourself by thinking positively.. think to yourself "im a nice guy - maybe she would love to go out with me" - you have to think positively... try to work on this cos girls do not like guys who are negative or insecure...

maybe you need to work on your self esteem... not just for this situation but for yourself in general. I dont know cos I dont know you but i get the feeling your esteem could be a little low. Best of luck.