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Need advice

  • 15-12-2009 11:39pm
    Registered Users Posts: 8

    I need some advice what to do next,
    My mam had a son when she was 17 back in the 70's and was forced to place him in a home st. Patricks Guild. She ran away to England because of what her family and nuns made her do anyway she returned 7 months later and went to the home looking for him and was told he had been placed with a new family 2 months previous and had died from cot death with that family and they had buried him in their family grave under the name they had given him. My mam signed no papers and recieved no contact from the nuns throughout this 7 months.
    Well we traced our brothers grave, no thanks to the nun who wouldn't give us any information just the date of his death but we managed to find the family from that.
    We would like to get his death cert amended to his rightful name but were told by the adoption board it is nearly impossible because of the term "usage" they say because that family called him a new name for 2 months they had a right to buried him in that name, which doesn't sound right to me considering he was in the home for 5 months and was called the name my mam gave him.
    Could anyone steer me in the right direction?
    Does anyone know somebody in the legal sector that would deal with these kind of situations??



  • Registered Users Posts: 324 ✭✭kathy finn

    hi, im sooo sorry for ur mother, these stories ar all to familiar. my advice is to seek out the help of a good legal team. have u met the family who where adopting ur brother maybe meeting them might help..good luck kathy

  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 32,285 Mod ✭✭✭✭The_Conductor

    If there was no formal adoption in place (which is most probably the case- and can be confirmed by the adoption authority), they would normally act as a go-between between the birthmother and the family the baby was placed with. When a placement happened- the child would have been with the prospective adoptive parents for around a year, before final adoption papers were signed. During this time the adoption agency or local community nurse, could petition to have the child removed for any reason whatsoever. As the child was only there for 2 months- there would almost certainly be no formal arrangement in place. In similar cases the adoptive families have in some cases agreed to have a seperate plaque erected at the grave of the child- but this is very much at their discretion, and with the agreement of both the church authorities and the adoption authority.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8 CarrieD

    Thank you for the replies!:)
    yes I think we will need legal representation for this because we want to get his death cert amended.
    We havent been in touch with the adoptive parents, we know the adoptive mother died so it is just the father and he has since remarried and has a new family. we might try contacting him about putting a seperate plaque at the grave but are doubtful he will agree to this.
    Sure I will update you of any progress if any we receive.
    Thanks again!