F*** buddy with an ex?

LegacyUser

Hey guys,

Broke up with my boyfriend over 3 months ago, we've been sleeping together for the past month now. I enjoy it as the sex is amazing always has been, my problem is we are still an emotional support to eachother too which goes against the f*** buddy rules. I am happy with the sex sides of things but i feel i cant move on if i am still emotionally connected to him.

Do f*** buddies work?

G-Money

If there is emotional attachment on the part of one or both people, they don't work.

Kiera

Its never ever a good idea to be FB's with an ex. If i were you, i'd cut contact and find someone else to have no strings fun with. This will only end in tears.

LegacyUser

no it never works with an ex one person is always holdin a flame! gat rid and start again

Miss Fluff

Being a f8ck buddy with someone you don't deem suitable enough for a relationship is insulting to be honest. F8ck buddy territory is absolutely fine when started off from a level playing field ON BOTH SIDES but not when one person deems the other person good for a shag but not good enough to go out with anymore. If you have feelings for this guy, then don't sleep with him hoping it will develop into something else. Let him miss you (and by that I mean not being on hand for sexytime relief or emotional support).

opinion guy

buddy?! wrote: »

Hey guys,

Broke up with my boyfriend over 3 months ago, we've been sleeping together for the past month now. I enjoy it as the sex is amazing always has been, my problem is we are still an emotional support to eachother too which goes against the f*** buddy rules. I am happy with the sex sides of things but i feel i cant move on if i am still emotionally connected to him.

Do f*** buddies work?

I don't mean to be smart...but if you guys are sleeping together and providing emotional support to each other how are thing different to when you were "going out ?"

Wibbs

True though I suspect one of them, presumably her, felt the relationship was OK for right now, but not in the really long term.

The person left is the one likely to be holding torches, which will likely end in tears alright.

nedd

I just watched an episode of How I Met Your Mother on this very topic last night. The moral of that story was when ex's become FB's, someone always ends up hurt. It seems like a good idea but it isnt.

seahorse

Sorry but this sounds more like a mind fcuk than anything sexual to me!

Sanjuro

buddy?! wrote: »

Hey guys,

Broke up with my boyfriend over 3 months ago, we've been sleeping together for the past month now. I enjoy it as the sex is amazing always has been, my problem is we are still an emotional support to eachother too which goes against the f*** buddy rules. I am happy with the sex sides of things but i feel i cant move on if i am still emotionally connected to him.

Do f*** buddies work?

Between friends, or acquaintences where there are no emotions involved, yes. In your particular situation, no.

lifeishard

tbh its all in your head that ur f**k buddies because your still seeing your ex and having better sex than b4,

it makes it all ten times better but really he is still ur bf because he is till ther for emotional support

BaZmO*

I can GUARANTEE that one, if not both of you are going to get hurt if this situation continues. And it'll more than likely come when one of you ends up with someone else for the night. If you split up you obviously had good enough reason to do so and the temporary emotional (and physical) crutch that you are providing each other with is just a temporary solution until the inevitable happens.

LegacyUser

Hi OP here.

Thanks for the replies i knew what the answer was going to be. Now maybe i'll have the strength to say no, he broke with me, i was happy that he still wanted me at the start, but i need to have more self respect!

Maybe i'll find myself a nice little elf for christmas!
Thanks again

Emme

buddy?! wrote: »

Hi OP here.

Thanks for the replies i knew what the answer was going to be. Now maybe i'll have the strength to say no, he broke with me, i was happy that he still wanted me at the start, but i need to have more self respect!

Maybe i'll find myself a nice little elf for christmas!
Thanks again

Find a nice little elf. I was in the same situation as you with an ex for a year after we broke up and it did my head in. In hindsight not a good idea - ex was having his cake, eating it and I was only getting mouldy crumbs!:(

Wibbs

buddy?! wrote: »

Hi OP here.

Thanks for the replies i knew what the answer was going to be. Now maybe i'll have the strength to say no, he broke with me, i was happy that he still wanted me at the start, but i need to have more self respect!

Yep and you deserve more if nothing else because you want more.

This is the opposite side of the same coin you see hereabouts only with guys. In that case the woman ex usually tries to keep them around as "friends" while they'll be off free to bump uglies with some other bloke. The harshest version of friendzone basically. The female version I call bonkzone. Similar vibe only in that case the guy tries to keep the woman around for sexual reasons.

It does seem to divide on fairly broad gender lines IME. You rarely have a woman splitting with a guy and then suggesting lets keep the nookie going. It happens, hell there have been examples here, but it seems to be rarer.

In any event if someone dumps you and asks to be friends or fcukbuddies, then in 99% of cases especially with the latter I would advise walking away as fast as you can. In both cases the person being asked for this, the dumper, in the vast majority of situations wants more. More than friends or more than sexual partners. Same with someone who gets the "friends" or FB speech when trying to start something, only worse as they've had the relationship. I think these situations can only work if both are on exactly the same page.

Maybe i'll find myself a nice little elf for christmas!
Thanks again

That's the spirit!! Good luck with that too.

T "real deal" J

buddy?! wrote: »

Do f*** buddies work?

Yes they do work, especially if the sex is fantastic.

But not in this situation...when one of you meets somebody new it'll kill the other person...because you're both still emotionally involved. imagine if tomorrow he tells you he can't hook up with you cause he met a new girl...you'll prob feel a bit sick that he's banging someone else...

Best thing to do is to break it off and move on. it'll be bad for a while...but time heals and you'll be back to your normal self in no time!
<snip> PI is not a pick up joint don't post like this again

LegacyUser

Hey OP here,

We were supposed to have one of our meetings tonight, i said no and i am so soooo proud of myself. Felt like such a relief, i still probably love him but i am in the mind set to meet some one different. When are these board drinks, i think i might want to come along?!

When will the urge for hugs go away? I miss this more than anything?

Wurly

buddy?! wrote: »

Hey OP here,

We were supposed to have one of our meetings tonight, i said no and i am so soooo proud of myself. Felt like such a relief, i still probably love him but i am in the mind set to meet some one different. When are these board drinks, i think i might want to come along?!

When will the urge for hugs go away? I miss this more than anything?

The urge will go away when you stop thinking about it so much. You need to cut ties and get on with your life. You cant possibly move on with one toe still in the water.

Seriously, this has disaster written all over it. If he doesn't love you enough to be with you properly, then there is no point continuing this. You are just papering over the cracks and getting a quick fix for your hurt. This may work for a while but in the end, you'll feel used and will be angry with yourself for accepting so little.

You took the first brave step by saying no to the meet up. Well done you. One day at a time and the future will take care of itself.

Best of luck.;)

BaZmO*

buddy?! wrote: »

When will the urge for hugs go away? I miss this more than anything?

As soon as you get over your ex.

It's like if you were watching TV but decided to mark the screen with a big X.
Sure, you could eventually learn to forget about the big X on the screen and tune out but the X will always be there if you do nothing. Best to get rid of the X altogether, and it wouldn't be long before you forgot about the X.

Busy yourself over the Christmas meeting up with friends and going out and enjoying yourself, great time of the year to be doing this.