My Life Is Sh!t

LegacyUser

As the title says, at this moment in time my life is nothing but a big steaming pile of sh!t.

I'm in a loveless marriage, lying in bed and touching off one another results in quick movement away, almost cringeworthy thinking of me touching OH or OH touching me (and the feelings mutual). I don't see where it's going and how or where it will improve.

I have a job (which i know i'm lucky to have and appreciate that much) where I'm working with people I don't like working with. Different hobbies, interests, totally alien almost.

I have a sore head with thinking, worrying, wondering, imagining, calculating etc etc


Has anyone else been at this stage of their life where they really just don't see any sense to any of it and start thinking is any of it really worth the hassle?


Please help

Libertewhite

Have you discussed these feelings and thoughts with your wife?

Miss Fluff

Have you discussed counselling? Or have you discussed splitting up? You know it will have to move on from it's current state one way or another don't you?

Xterminator

the thing is you have to take this situation in hard and sort it out. you could waste your life away 'drifting' along.

you need to decide if your marriage is save-able and woth saving? If the answer is maybe, then try to get help. go to counselling yourself, and see if it helps. if your relationship allows it, try to have a heart 2 heart with your other half, suggest joint counselling, address specific issues, see if they are willing to try to save it? I presume you were in love once?

if the marriage is dead , then you need to decide how to proceed from here.

do you have children &/or a mortgage? If you have neither of the above, you could make a clean break.

If your tied to each other, perhaps you can come to an understanding that you stay together in the same house, but get on with your life?

just take control of your life again. if you do so, you will start to regain a measure of yourself.

LegacyUser

You are describing my life exactly!
I dont know what age you are but I`m now in my mid forties and have decided that the only way forward is to somehow get out of the relationship....extremely hard to do as we have been together since our teens and have both only ever had the one partner.
All I can say is....I dont think a relationship is worth saving if the love , and to be honest the sex has died.
Best of luck which ever way you go.

LegacyUser

pls dont consider divorce that quickly.

i know it's old fashioned, but marriage is for life. remember the vow.

solve the problems first, try talk with ur partner. if both of u wanna have one more try, sort things out, go to the counsellor, to on holidays, regular dating with your spouse, try something new in sex...

it's tempting to have more partners in your life, try new things, try new persons... human being are objects to be tried. it's sad.

rant over.

Smallbit

I know about bed thing... I felt the same way about my ex (though he claimed everything was fine on his side).

I changed my job (in fact I embarked on a new career), I left my husband, and am much happier 6 years later.

If you're absolutely sure there's nothing left, then leave. I stayed for 5 years feeling the way you do, and it corrodes your soul.

If you can see a reason to stay then you must do something to change the situation. It calls for complete honesty with your partner...

WellyJ

You aren't living OP, you are merely surviving. You need to take action, talk to your OH about it and take whatever steps are necessary to get back to a real life.