I miss my friend

LegacyUser

I became great friends with a lad I know. I have been going through a hard time personally, and he listened to me and offered me advice etc. The problem is, my problem is on going and has caused me alot of upset in my life, and as a result I have tried to not let it effect me but it has, and because of that, it has subsequently effected my friendship with this lad, because I have been upset and stressed.
He has been such a great friend to me, and because I have been upset or stressed alot, I'm not sure now if he is still my friend, not like the friends we once were. I have tried to talk to him, to see if we could sort it out, and get back to being the friends we were only he does not want to talk about it with me. I miss my friend, and wish there was something I could do to resolve our friendship.
Would anyone be able to offer me advice on this?
Cheers

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

I became great friends with a lad I know. I have been going through a hard time personally, and he listened to me and offered me advice etc. The problem is, my problem is on going and has caused me alot of upset in my life, and as a result I have tried to not let it effect me but it has, and because of that, it has subsequently effected my friendship with this lad, because I have been upset and stressed.
He has been such a great friend to me, and because I have been upset or stressed alot, I'm not sure now if he is still my friend, not like the friends we once were. I have tried to talk to him, to see if we could sort it out, and get back to being the friends we were only he does not want to talk about it with me. I miss my friend, and wish there was something I could do to resolve our friendship.
Would anyone be able to offer me advice on this?
Cheers

Just leave him alone. Say sorry and don't contact him. I have gone through something like this recently and if you contact him its kinda like poking the bear.

LegacyUser

leave it wrote: »

Just leave him alone. Say sorry and don't contact him. I have gone through something like this recently and if you contact him its kinda like poking the bear.

OP here. Thanks for your reply. I understand why you would make that reply, but with alot of people are under stress at the moment, and we all need our friends and family at the moment. This applies to my particular circumstances which I have found myself in. I am going through a difficult time at the moment, and my friend has been been a significant support to me through this. However, I do not wish to frustrate him, or annoy him as he has his own troubles. I am really upset by this change in my friend, and he seems to not wish to discuss the problems with our friendship. I intend to give him time, and see what happens, but if or when I hope I hear from him, is there any way I could resolve this problem with my friend? Is there anything I could say that could sort it all out, so we could reignite our friendship?
Thanks again

opinion guy

Unregistered wrote: »

OP here. Thanks for your reply. I understand why you would make that reply, but with alot of people are under stress at the moment, and we all need our friends and family at the moment. This applies to my particular circumstances which I have found myself in. I am going through a difficult time at the moment, and my friend has been been a significant support to me through this. However, I do not wish to frustrate him, or annoy him as he has his own troubles. I am really upset by this change in my friend, and he seems to not wish to discuss the problems with our friendship. I intend to give him time, and see what happens, but if or when I hope I hear from him, is there any way I could resolve this problem with my friend? Is there anything I could say that could sort it all out, so we could reignite our friendship?
Thanks again

I don't think you really heard what 'leave it' said.
I too have been in this situation and would constantly do what your doing and try to get people to 'understand'. Truth is all you do is wear other people and yourself out and 'understanding' is overrated. Yes you are having your problems and so is he. But by insisting on talking to him about it when he doesn't want to what you are in effect saying is 'my feelings are more important than yours". leave it for now and try to find another way to deal with your own problems. sorry i don't mean to be harsh but you didn't seem to hear the first response

LegacyUser

opinion guy wrote: »

I don't think you really heard what 'leave it' said.
I too have been in this situation and would constantly do what your doing and try to get people to 'understand'. Truth is all you do is wear other people and yourself out and 'understanding' is overrated. Yes you are having your problems and so is he. But by insisting on talking to him about it when he doesn't want to what you are in effect saying is 'my feelings are more important than yours". leave it for now and try to find another way to deal with your own problems. sorry i don't mean to be harsh but you didn't seem to hear the first response

I appreciate your replies above, and thank you. I will take it on board. Thanks again

hollis12

Unregistered wrote: »

I became great friends with a lad I know. I have been going through a hard time personally, and he listened to me and offered me advice etc. The problem is, my problem is on going and has caused me alot of upset in my life, and as a result I have tried to not let it effect me but it has, and because of that, it has subsequently effected my friendship with this lad, because I have been upset and stressed.
He has been such a great friend to me, and because I have been upset or stressed alot, I'm not sure now if he is still my friend, not like the friends we once were. I have tried to talk to him, to see if we could sort it out, and get back to being the friends we were only he does not want to talk about it with me. I miss my friend, and wish there was something I could do to resolve our friendship.
Would anyone be able to offer me advice on this?
Cheers

were you romantically involved with this friend? maybe thats what caused things to sour

LegacyUser

No not romantically involved. We were great friends for months and months, and talked for hours and hours, every day for months, even into the early hours. We got on great, and I knew alot about him, and he knew alot about me, and was really supportive with the problem I have in my life. We talked about everything and anything, and really clicked. I am single, and he was for a while but recently got back with his ex. But he has distanced himself from me recently because I am under so much stress and pressure (May I point out, I didn't talk about my problem all the time), and I don't think its because he got back with his ex, but because I am pretty stressed myself. Like I said I have tried to talk to him, (Not constantly onto the lad, but spoke to him) to see if we could resolve the situation, but he seems reluctant to talk about it. He has become a great friend of mine, and I miss him as a friend. I am currently giving him time away from me, and I would love to resolve the situation, I just don't know what to do. I would love to get my friend back. I am really upset by this. I have taken on board the advice above, if anyone else has anymore advice about this, let me know
Cheers

opinion guy

I hear you OP and I feel for ya. But unfortunately sometimes people do these things and there's precious little we can do but let them work it out. In my experience trying to do more than that is not worth the hassles involved