Advice from "experienced" men required !!

LegacyUser

Ok so i've posted here about my lack of success with women including having never had a girlfriend.

BUT... things appear to be turning around... I've come on leaps and bounds in that I can now talk to girls with much greater ease and, God forbid, even flirt !! lol

So need tips on the following situation:

New girl at work - on a temporary contract until next March - don't know if she'll be kept on.
We've chatted/flirted at lunch.
The first time we had lunch together I took the piss but saying it was like a first date... flirting back and forth... anyways after lunch... she asked me did I like the date and would I do it again... I took this in jest and forgot about it...

Anyways today at lunch we were sitting at opposite ends of the canteen... I didn't even know she was there until she was leaving. I was chatting to the people beside me, when she comes over to my side, says hello and puts her hand on my shoulder for a couple of seconds. This seemed unusual at the time (hand on shoulder) and I felt it was a definite "Indicator of Interest". We had a quick joke and off she went.

So anyway tomorrow night our Dept is having a big Xmas party starting at 7 pm so we'll all be hammered by 10/11.

I'd rate this girl looks-wise about 6 and she has an easy-going personality. I know I'm jumping the gun here but I don't even know if I want a gf at the moment.

I do want a sex partner.

Advice please about how to get sex from this scenario without blowing it... providing she IS into me of course...

And I don't see all women as one-dimensional objects but I do have a sex-drive.

Thanks for any tips/hints/advice ! :-)

Karmafaerie

First off, don't get hammered by 10!

Just play it by ear.
Chat with her and be friendly.
Don't expect to just jump into bed with her.

Quite often at Christmas parties people do get drunk, and fall into each others beds, and to be honest, it rarely ends well.
Maybe you don't feel like you want a girlfriend, but who knows.
Best option is to have fun, and take things easy.
Don't push, but don't shy away either.

amazingemmet

If you're dropping "jargon" then you should have more sense to attempt to shag a six.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice guys..

Morning after.... got quite drunk - am a seldom-drinker and a light-weight sorry ! Didn't do or say anything very embarrassing or controversial to any work colleagues so happy out I guess !

Spoke with the girl in question briefly but we didn't have the same rapport as in work - maybe all the drink flowing and music etc. Anyways spotted her kissing another guy from work... doesn't bother me to be honest. He is a nice sound guy - very successful with the ladies - he picks up nearly all the single girls at work - he is very good-looking tho...

Yeah.. I don't know... pulling the trigger is my biggest stumbling block.

I know I appear desperate but that's because I am probably a bit desperate - not in an emotionally needy way but in the way that I HAVE NEVER seduced a girl and I'm a man with a high sex-drive.... hormonally desperate if there is such a thing.

I have read a bit from the Pick-up Artists... and I did try it ... and I was able to chat with girls using it... but I didn't persevere with it as I found it all a bit contrived and mechanical to be honest... I much prefer to just chat to a girl freestyle so-to-speak and just flow with whatever is on the top of my head.

Tho obviously that hasn't been turning girls on !

magneticimpulse

Ok, well I know people should always look out for every opportunity to meet someone. But chatting to people at work over lunch and then referring it as a date is not such a turn on. People go to work to date. I find the odd time guys chatting me up in the supermarket. Sometimes there is a time and a place to make a move and most likely places like work and supermarkets are a no go.

The thing girls like is someone natural and confident. Too many jokes or made up stories and make someone seem childish. Woman just want someone who is confident but not too eager to please. Keep working on it and im really happy you kept a low profile at the Christmas Party and didnt get too hammered.

LegacyUser

Yeah I'm pretty happy that I didn't make a fool out of myself considering all the drink (a lot for me) that I had on board... but the night was definitely planned to be a "session" so perhaps that was unavoidable... and I'm sure I'm not the only one suffering today !

As regards the dating at work thing, that was definitely a joke at the time and she took it as such... You have actually made me think that maybe I do joke or make up stories too much and women mightn't like that... I dunno... You see I wouldn't be considered good-looking so I guess I try to compensate by having off-the-wall/entertaining conversation.

A few girls have said to me that I'm one in a million/there's no-one like you because my conversation would be spontaneous and not the run-of-the-mill stuff.

But perhaps this is a liability instead of an asset.

I know that the guy who scored the girl last night, is just generally friendly and nice.... doesn't say an awful lot, makes the odd joke and that's it.... just sort of stands there... and it seems to be working very well for him.

Maybe I should take a leaf out of his book !

dsmythy

onthecusp wrote: »

I have read a bit from the Pick-up Artists... and I did try it ... and I was able to chat with girls using it... but I didn't persevere with it as I found it all a bit contrived and mechanical to be honest... I much prefer to just chat to a girl freestyle so-to-speak and just flow with whatever is on the top of my head.

Tho obviously that hasn't been turning girls on !

Fair play in your progress of working on yourself. I'd stay clear of that whole pick-up artist stuff though, it will only set you back on your journey.

T "real deal" J

Talk to Scanlas on boards..he knows what he's talking about.. i'd say have as much fun as you can at the christmas party...flirt with her...make a move on her "it's a pity you're going, i didn't even get to give you a christmas present" or whatever comes to your head...it's the christmas party...she's single...if she's attracted to you of course she wants sex

davyjose

T real deal J wrote: »

Talk to Scanlas on boards..he knows what he's talking about.. i'd say have as much fun as you can at the christmas party...flirt with her...make a move on her "it's a pity you're going, i didn't even get to give you a christmas present" or whatever comes to your head...it's the christmas party...she's single...if she's attracted to you of course she wants sex

Don't forget to buy a time machine first...

Anyway, OP, move on. As someone said, the workplace is fraught with danger in terms of getting into relationships. You'll get there eventually and keep up the banter, etc. Women love confidence/sense of humour. The "quiet guy who picks up the ladies" works for some(never me), but is a disaster for others.
One thing I will say about the girl in work - don't go back there. Give up the chase. She was with your man, and that's grand, but don't fall too far into the friend zone (That BS about coming over to you, resting her hand on your shoulder, then scoring someone else is boll0x tbh) just give her the time of day but not much more*. Move on.

LegacyUser

T real deal J wrote: »

Talk to Scanlas on boards..he knows what he's talking about.. i'd say have as much fun as you can at the christmas party...flirt with her...make a move on her "it's a pity you're going, i didn't even get to give you a christmas present" or whatever comes to your head...it's the christmas party...she's single...if she's attracted to you of course she wants sex

Wow you actually sound very like scanlas, what a coincidence!


To the OP, I would avoid trying to seduce girls in work to be honest, too much downside.
Just be their friends and then try to go out with them when they're heading out with all their female mates.