Should I get back in contact?

LegacyUser

Hi guys,
My girlfriend broke up with me a couple of weeks ago. She said she wanted to be just friends, but I decided on no-contact. She texted me a few times and said she missed me. I ignored the texts. Now, I am somewhat over her, and because she truly is a great, fun girl, I would actually like to be friends with her.

'am I just setting myself up for an epic fail?what if she has a new boyfriend? should I bite my tongue and try to forget about her? or am I gonna miss out on one of my best friends because of my stupid pride?'

any thoughts/ experience on this?

james.xix

There’d be no harm in texting her to see how she is getting on.
You could also ask if ye could meet up somewhere and talk if she would like.
I wouldn’t meet her with any real intentions, just see how ye get on and take it from there.

G-Money

unreg1212121 wrote: »

Now, I am somewhat over her

'am I just setting myself up for an epic fail?what if she has a new boyfriend?

I vote that you don't contact her for this very reason. You have said you are somewhat over her. Somewhat, and it sounds like you have a fair way to go. Plus you've said "What if she has a boyfriend?" I would suggest that you only get back in contact when you don't give a f*** if she has a boyfriend. If you are at the point where her having a new boyfriend upsets you, then you are not ready to be friends with her.

You did well by ignoring the texts. She could have missed you, or just missed the attention and wanted an ego boost by dangling the carrot in front of you and then treating you to the stick, had you replied to them.

I'm not saying you can't ever be friends with this girl. Just don't fall for this stupid pressure that society puts on people to be "Just friends" after a breakup. They never stop to think how uncomfortable and painful it can be for the person who gets dumped. While the person who ditched them gets all the benefits of having the person around, plus they get to go f*** someone else at the same time guilt free as "we're just friends".

If you are not over this girl, getting back in contact with her is the worst thing you could do.

Don't get in touch until you are completely over her and no longer want to be with her or care if she is seeing someone else. If you get in touch before then, you will just set your recovery back. And I'm sure she's hardly staying in every night, knitting sweaters, thinking about you and wishing you two were back together. She dumped you, so that's it. You don't get back in touch until you are over it. No matter what guilt she tries to throw your way.

Good luck.

LegacyUser

Perhaps its the Christmas spirit, and maybe I'm completely crazy, but I'm thinking of sending some flowers to her, to say no hard feelings, and lets be friends again. I am over her, I just want to talk to her again.

I feel I'll be slaughtered for saying this

Wibbs

So far it's been about you. Is she over you? If you have any doubt on that score then leave her alone. What you want is only important to you. Think of her in this case. I would say the same if you have any doubt about yourself too.

GigaByte

Just from reading your post I get the impression you're not over her after 2 weeks, if you where you wouldn't be worried about an epic fail.

Flowers! Are you mad!!! Take a step back and thing about it.

unreg1212121

unreg1212121 wrote: »

Hi guys,
My girlfriend broke up with me a couple of weeks ago. She said she wanted to be just friends, but I decided on no-contact. She texted me a few times and said she missed me. I ignored the texts. Now, I am somewhat over her, and because she truly is a great, fun girl, I would actually like to be friends with her.

'am I just setting myself up for an epic fail?what if she has a new boyfriend? should I bite my tongue and try to forget about her? or am I gonna miss out on one of my best friends because of my stupid pride?'

any thoughts/ experience on this?

I don't know how long you were together, but 2 weeks isn't remotely enough of a no contact time. Leave it for a couple months then see.

DO NOT SEND HER FLOWERS.

Moomoo1

if you must send something to her, send something completely unromantic, the sort of thing friends send to each other.

magneticimpulse

No dont ever contact her again! Read my thread. I contacted ex last night, it was the worse night of my entire life. Absolutely do not send her flowers. You could end up completely freaking her out. I was thinking of sending flowers to my ex and I am so glad I did not.

My story began with lets stay friends...it doesnt work. Just move on. Have a happy christmas and dont ever contact your ex again. Seriously my story is shocking enough, id never want to see anyone else go through the same things.

LegacyUser

I agree with the other posters on a couple of points.

First, two weeks is not near enough time after the end of a relationship to figure out exactly how you feel about what happened in the past and what happens in the future.

Secondly, it is much too early to consider contacting your ex. And even after a couple of months has passed, I would advise you strongly against it. You may miss her right now, all very normal. If she left you, inviting her back in your life will most likely only bring you trouble or heartache.

In my experience, the "let's me just friends" addendum to the break-up line is a load of crock and only said to alleviate some feelings of guilt on the part of the one doing the breaking-up and make them feel a bit better.

LegacyUser

You guys are right. I have this idea where I will see if she gives me a shout around Christmas time...if she does, see how it goes. If she doesn't, forget about it....I'm a MESS.