Unemployed girlfriend - stressing me out!

LegacyUser

I started seeing a girl 8 months ago. We get on very, very well. Similar sense of humour, interests, etc. However, shortly after we started seeing each other, she handed in her notice at her job. She's been out of work since. She's applied to two graduate schemes, got as far as the final interview in one of them. But I don't think she's trying as hard as she should be to get work. Today, I hear that her dole is being cut off for two months because she didn't apply for a couple of jobs the dole office told her to apply for. She was over at mine last night, crying, complaining that her life was ****, she had no money, she was bored. But I'm frustrated because as far as I see, she could be doing more to sort this out, and I worry about her being unhappy. She had a depressive episode last year, and is currently on antidepressants, and I'm worried that this may be affecting her current situation. I don't know how to handle this. I've sent her links to graduate schemes she may be interested in, and she appreciated that. She says that many of the jobs that the dole office are asking her to apply for are minimum wage, and that it wouldn't be economical
to work in them, because she's better off on the dole. It's not that she doesn't want to work, she wants to get a job that pays enough to make it worth her while coming off the dole (we're not talking megabucks here). The whole situation is stressing me out. It annoys me a bit that she's not more proactive about looking for work. Does anyone have any thoughts? Words of advice? Should I try not to be so worked up over this situation?

Thanks in advance.

Piriz

ok OP my 2cents,
being a graduate and being requested to take a menial job can be disheartening. Consider that she had ambitions and expectations for where she would be after college, her current situation is far from her ideal. A menial job might do little for her happiness and self esteem as she has worked towards something more fulfilling. Couple this with her depression and its a horrible situation for her. Her time could be spent working on alternative things to bring her a more positive attitude in her daily routine i.e. volunteering, her hobbies etc. rather than earning buttons on minimum wage which as mentioned could make her feel worse. (btw i don't condone staying on the scratcher coz you cant earn much more money than it provides, but i think its fair that graduates self esteem can suffer if they wind up in a job they hate, going off point here..)

perhaps she could look into further study...advancing her education or changing direction towards increased employment opportunities could be of great benefit..this could bring increased motivation into her life too..

i do think you should try not to get too worked up over the situation..she is depressed..overcoming this should be priority..find a means (together) to bring more happiness into her life..encourage her to concentrate on this for herself too..if you both share a similar sense of humour this is a perfect starting point..watch stand up comedies you both like..laughter is a great medicine! bring her places and don't allow 'her current situation' to consume your conversations together. its great that you send her links to jobs etc. fair play! if you continually discuss this with her it may be putting increased pressure on her...if the pressure drops she might think more freely..(after a period of time)

in addition, the job scene is just feckin awful out there, if she got to the final interview in a graduate programme she did amazingly well, shes obviously got skills and is employable, she'll get another opportunity at some point but these days is a test of patience too..

wish you both good luck!

sorry its not the most concise reply..just reeled off some thoughts as they came..