How to deal with an irritating housemate

LegacyUser

I share with three other people in quite a busy house that I really like but for the past few months, I've been putting up with an incredibly annoying housemate who was there before I arrived.

During the Summer it was fine, but I find my social life slows in the Autumn and Winter so it's harder to avoid him.

Basically, he's incredibly insecure and oblivious to other people's feelings. He's selfish and loud and constantly overcompensating for... something...

I'm pretty easy going and get along well with everyone but I just find his constant know it all comments and over competitiveness and corrections about minor details to be really annoying. I try to humour him as much as possible but it's grinding me down at this point. If he's not constantly asking questions over some petty issue in his life looking for assurance, he's droning on about some boring topic incredulous that the others in the house don't share his views.

I've thought about just saying it to him next time he annoys me, but I don't think it would be well received, everything is always someone else's fault with him.

So what should I do? Bite the bullet and say it to him? Ignore it and get on with my own stuff (as I have been) or just start looking for somewhere else to live?

MissMotivated

peace_and_quiet wrote: »

just start looking for somewhere else to live?

This! I honestly don't know why anyone would live with people they don't like/get on with/find annoying etc.. i mean this is meant to be your home, if you cant be completely at ease and comfortable there then why stay? I know I'd move anyway. In all fairness just because you find this guy annoying is not reason enough to tell him so, so ignore him or move out!

Danniboo

MissMotivated wrote: »

This! I honestly don't know why anyone would live with people they don't like/get on with/find annoying etc.. i mean this is meant to be your home, if you cant be completely at ease and comfortable there then why stay? I know I'd move anyway. In all fairness just because you find this guy annoying is not reason enough to tell him so, so ignore him or move out!

You'd be surprised how quickly this can wear you down. If someone you live with is shouting around the house and being arrogant and putting people down she has every right to call him aside, especially if the whole house side feels this way. I lived with a guy like this total personality clash, he'd have different views on everything and we'd have regular debates then it would all be forgotten about, it was a love/hate relationship. It's like living at home if one of your siblings is annoying you wouldnt walk on eggshells and say nothing you'd have it out with them.

MissMotivated

Thta's why i said move out, if it's getting to the Op why would he stay there? I personally wouldn't live with someone who annoys me. In fairness yes the OP said this guy is loud but he also said he asks questions and talks about boring topics, some people are just like this and this is definitely not a reason to pull someone aside, they can't exactly say to the guy "can you please stop asking questions and talk about more exciting things?"..
I completely agree with you that this would wear you down, I get annoyed easily so I am saying if it were me I would just move, life is too short to live in that situation. It sounds like this guy is just one of those annoying people, you can't change someones personality!

G-Money

Simple, move out.

I mean, it's your home, you are supposed to be able to relax there. When you are at work or somewhere you have to put up with all sorts of annoying f*****rs and you can't do anything about it as you have to "be professional" which is HR speak for just accepting unreasonable behaviour. You shouldn't have to do the same at home.

But its your home. You're not under some sort of equality obligation to have certain types of housemates there.

If he's not going to move out, I suggest you do.

Kosseegan

Why should you be driven from your home? When he asks questions about his own life just say "I am no a counsellor, Ask someone else". If he drones on about some topic, just keep changing the subject. If he behaves like a know all ask him some question to which you are sure he will not know the answer. E.g "what is the weight in kilogrammes of the Eiffel Tower?. Arrange with the other housemates to look up obscure facts. Ask know all if he knows. When he does not ask another housemate who does know. Loudly thank the housemate who give the correct answer.

Danniboo

MissMotivated wrote: »

Thta's why i said move out, if it's getting to the Op why would he stay there? I personally wouldn't live with someone who annoys me. In fairness yes the OP said this guy is loud but he also said he asks questions and talks about boring topics, some people are just like this and this is definitely not a reason to pull someone aside, they can't exactly say to the guy "can you please stop asking questions and talk about more exciting things?"..
I completely agree with you that this would wear you down, I get annoyed easily so I am saying if it were me I would just move, life is too short to live in that situation. It sounds like this guy is just one of those annoying people, you can't change someones personality!

Have you much experience of renting? Its not very often you find a house where you get on with everyone. The OP said he's blaming people for stuff, correcting what people say etc etc, this is not just his personality she is entitled to say to him look I dont appreciate been spoken to like this or sometime when you say x y z it gets on peoples nerves. Just like if someone in the house wasn't cleaning up you'd pull them up. You can't just pack your life in a bag and move on everytime someone gets on your nerves, it's all about compromise and communication.

MissMotivated

I don't see in the Op that the guy is blaming people for stuff. I have enough experience of renting.
The Op is asking peoples advice and I am telling him/her what I would do, I can't stand people who are extremely competitive and always have to be right and people that have the kind of personality traits this guy has, yes it's about compromise but when people have this kind of personality I genuinely don't think there's much that the Op can do about it apart from putting up with it or moving out and I personally would not be able to live with someone like this it would do my head in. I can't imagine this guy compromising seeing as he always has to be right so he would not see the need for him to have to change i'm sure! The loudness the Op could pull him up on, just like if he wasn't doing his fair share of cleaning but I think the rest are this guys personality traits and I personally don't think the Op can pull him up on being annoying!!

Danniboo

peace_and_quiet wrote: »

II've thought about just saying it to him next time he annoys me, but I don't think it would be well received, everything is always someone else's fault with him.

This would imply he pretty much blames other people on stuff. If everyone in the house is in agreement about this guys behaviour then he will have to listen. Yes a lot of it is his personality and different views but he should learn to keep these a bit hush if he's driving everyone around him insane. Just say something simple like we'll have to agree to disagree on this, as usual!!!

MissMotivated

Oh yeah if everyone in the house is in agreement about him the Op is in a much better position, I don't envy you Op living with someone like that!! Hope you figure something out!

Danniboo

If all else fails walk around the house with a saucepan on your head shouting things like the end is nigh or whatever crazy babble takes your fancy or lie in the middle of the living room floor while everyone is watching tv. Any behaviour along these lines and he won't be long about moving out.

But on a serious note good luck sorting it out

icanhearjimi

I've lived a couple of serious annoying lads while in college years ago.
One fella would constantly play that Ja -Rule and J Lo song, blaring it out around the house and any time of the day. His Girlfriend basically lived there too, I'd say she stayed 90% of the time, and she was ugly. At night time they'd have a bath together, could hear them giggling, (the walls were about half an inch thick).
He's had an opinion on everything, knew everything, and he had smelly feet, the w@nker. Never once washed up or took out the bin. I was glad to see the back of that pr*ck and the end of the year.

Another thick f**ker would fill the bath to the top with almost boiling hot water, wait 2 hours for it to cool down, then get in to it and the excess water would all spill out on the floor, then didnt mop it up. He never bought food, just ate everyone elses. Played Guns n Roses at all hours of the night. Not once did he wash up, or hoover or do f**king anything. I went in to his room once, the smell was rotten, could hardly see the bed with the amount of clothes, dvds and rubbish. I saw three 2litre bottles under the computer desk, asked him what they were, and they were full of PISS, The disgusting smelly loud annoying pr*ck.
I was very glad to see the back of him too, f**king Freak.

So to get to the point, if you say anything to this person you live with, it just goes in one ear, and straight out the other.
Just get on with it, try to annoy him back or something, and when its all over, you'll be able to laugh at it, like i do.