Can't focus on anything

LegacyUser

Kinda sounds stupid but this is something that's been bothering me since I was 17 or so (I'm in college now so not that long).

Right so I'm sure the initial reaction of most people here will be what's the problem and stop being lazy but there's a bit more to it than that I think.


I can't seem to motivate myself to study at all. As in I do none until the day before an exam. I can never sit down and do anything and if I do I invariably get distracted by the most ridiculous things possible.

I'm an intelligent guy, I always seem to 'get by' but it's annoying me. I feel like I'm throwing away my chance. I could be top of my class but I'm not for no reason other than I can't motivate myself to work.

For my leaving cert, I know I could have gotten 600 points if I put in half the work some of my friends did yet I studied for 2 weeks before it (that's a record length of time for me). I ended up with around 450 points and even then I was unlucky not to hit 500. I got my 1st choice college course (Trinity) and I got a 2.1 last year. I crammed everything the night before and I've been kicking myself ever since.

I've also applied to do the scholarship exams in January. You get incredible benefits (including a free Masters which in this economic climate is a serious incentive). They're something I've wanted to do since I first heard about them and I told myself I was gonna start studying for them back in August. They're just about a month away now and I've done sweet F.A. This is really getting me down as I really do believe that I could get them if I put in the work - which I'm struggling even to hand course work in on time let alone extra study for these exams.

I know it seems like I'm bragging here but I'm not trying to. I can't seem to make the most of my opportunity and its driving me crazy. I know there's a recession and I'm lucky to even have the chance to go to college yet I feel I'm throwing it away. You won't miss it until its gone sorta thing. I'm starting to feel that the only way I can instill a 'work ethic' into myself is if I'm down and out and the only way out is to get my head down and work my ass off - something I'd rather avoid if possible.

I feel I've always been a crammer and I'd like for once in my life to actually be prepared for something and answer it to the best of my ability - something I've rarely been able to do.

It's not just study as well. I always leave everything to the last minute. Leaving the house in the morning I'm rushing to the Luas, handing in assignments, practicing piano, everything.

It's quite late to be posting this but I can't sleep - I haven't been sleeping well the last year and a bit now at all. I've seen a counsellor in college but I didn't think they were very good at all. I don't sleep easily at all. I end up still being awake at 4, even 5, am and I have to be up at 7 in the morning. So I always end up sleeping in and missing morning lectures. I've tried the "stay up all night then go into college routine" but that generally ends in being an incredibly unproductive day. I can get myself into a regular (normal) for a few days and then whatever happens again and boom I'm up til 4 and it screws me over again.

I seem to get stressed out easily enough and that doesn't help by putting myself under unnecessary pressure all the time.

Thanks for reading this, it's different to the usual PI stuff but I just wanted to get it off my mind and maybe I can actually sleep now.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

LegacyUser

Re the sleep you can look up lots of sites for improving your sleep. But it can be a sign of excessive stress which you mentioned already. Until you deal with the stress you might find difficult to deal with the sleep.
Re the counsellor go to another one until you find one that works for you.
Re the motivation. I suppose thats the difference between success and failure in many cases. Many of the people who finish top of the class are not necessarily the most intelligent. They are just better organised and have a better attitude.
Why dont you set up a study timetable for the next months towards the schol exam and try and stick to it.
And stop beating yourself up. Give yourself praise.

LegacyUser

Hey,
Well your post sounds a lot like me. Coasted through school, college and still coasting through work. Similar points in the LC and finished up with a 2:1, got through more exams after college, always the same from primary school up, cram before exams and that was it. I feel like I am completely lacking motivation.

Are you in any clubs in college?
A lot of people i knew who were really involved in clubs did pretty well, they spent what little free time they had from the club studying, they seemed more motivated, maybe healthy body healthy mind rings true (could help with the sleeping too). I spent too much time day dreaming, putting pressure on myself as to why I wasn't doing as well as i wanted to be rather than going out and doing something productive, too much introspection (not saying you do this).

I agree with the OP, it's definitely worth timetabling stuff now, making lists, if you want scholls start working for them tomorrow if you leave it till after christmas you'll just keep pushing it out. You're clearly good enough to get them if you try. If this is really annoying you fix it now or you'll just keep coasting through and kicking yourself, take it from someone who still is. Try a different counselor, but most of all a great quote I've seen somewhere on this site today went along the lines of "you don't find yourself, you create yourself" how true, I let things just happen to me, where as when you look at successful people you find that they go out and make things happen, big difference. And yeah, I need to take my own advice!

Hope it doesn't sound patronising etc, it's in no way meant to be. If you're serious about fixing things you need to be proactive and do it, find a new counselor and/or stop thinking about studying/not studying and just do it, create a study group, sounds nerdy buy you'd be surprised at how many do it. You are right, if you don't do it now you will regret it, it spirals, you keep coasting and down the line coasting leads to lack of confidence in your abilities when you have to use them to find jobs etc, it just gets worse.

So my advice (cutting a very long post short), make the change now, you have to take the first step no one else will or can, and yes you can do it.

I'm exactly the same. To be honest, I've stopped beating myself up about it now. Some people just do better with a bit of stress. I'm doing a postgrad now, and I work harder than I did in undergrad, perhaps because I'm more mature and appreciate my education more now, having been working for a few years, but I don't think I'll ever change the fact I procrastinate. I mean, I'm supposed to be studying right now, but I'm posting on Boards instead. I have always had trouble focusing, and it's nothing to do with laziness. It's just the way I am. But when I do study, I study. I can get more done in a day than some people can in 2 weeks. So I study when I'm in the mood, and when I'm not, I don't force myself.

Perhaps this isn't the greatest advice, but it's my personal viewpoint. If you got a 2:1 last year with very little work, that shows you are doing well in college. It's not like you're scraping thirds. Go ahead and do the schols. Don't worry about the time you haven't studied. There's nothing you can do about it now. Focus on the fact you still have a month. If you don't get them, you could well get exemptions, and if you don't get the exemptions, well you've already done a huge chunk of work towards your exams. I STILL kick myself for not trying the schols, because I didn't think I could do it. I realise now I easily could have, and should have tried.

The advice about clubs is good, or even a part time job. I find that I manage my time much better when I have more to do. If I have 10 hours to write a paper, I'll spend 9 hours procrastinating. If I have 2 hours, I'll sit down and do it. As for the sleep, I had exactly the same thing. I got into bad habits and bad patterns. Once I started forcing myself to go to bed at 11, get up at 7 and stop sleeping during the day, things improved. I found herbal tea before bed helped a lot, as did just relaxing for an hour or so, just watching a movie or doing something mindless, no studying/reading in bed. Good luck OP, I hope things improve.

Joycey

I have pretty much the exact same experience as all you have. Same results in leaving cert and a 2:1 in college. Never done anything ever to the best of my ability, constant procrastination and leaving stuff till the last minute.

Thing is, I was diagnosed with ADD when I was younger, and I know I definitely had it, was really hyper, expressed all the symptoms, report cards from school and stuff were typical of ADD child... I thought id grown out of it, or at least had serious doubts about whether it was still affecting me negatively. I was prescribed ritalin from about the age of 15 and pretty much havent done an essay or exam without it since then.

The problem is it makes me feel like absolute **** (it basically does to your brain what taking cocaine day in and day out does to it), so I just got used to coasting by in undergrad without taking it except for the odd time when something was due/examtime.

Doing my masters this year, and if it wasnt for the ritalin I would be absolutely f*cked. I went from only ever spending about 4 hours each on the reading for my two classes, and **** reading at that, where i just read it through and maybe underline stuff, no notes or actual comprehension or anything, to sitting down for 6-8 hours in a day (I did 12 the other day) and taking sh1tloads of notes, really thinking through everything. Its become really rewarding and I feel more motivated because (a) the stuff really interests me and Im actually getting stuck in to it now (b) I feel like I have some kind of way to get my potential out of me.

From your post it sounds exactly like the problems/mindset I have which Im assuming is ADD (diagnoses are a bit BS to be honest, especially with kids), I found this forum the other day and Id recommend doing a bit of reading around, if you think you might have ADD then go to your GP and theyl refer you to a specialist somewhere. Using ritalin again has been unbelievably worthwhile for me anyway