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No confidence in bed.

  • 10-12-2009 12:47am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I am 20 and have slept with 3 guys, one was a serious boyfriend (lets say Mark), the two others were friends. I only slept with 2 two others one time each. When I was young and drunk. But I count Mark as the first time I really had proper sex. We have been broken up for a 6 months now, we were going out for 2 years.

    Anyway, I was with a guy a few nights ago who I really like. We did everything else but didn't have sex. I told him I was not over my ex, but that's a lie. I just feel like I'm not experienced enough. I just feel like I'll be hopeless. This is the 3rd time it's happened in the past few months. I don't know, I just feel like he (or they) will think I'm not good enough. It took me ages to kiss this fella because I thought I wouldn't even be a good enough kisser!

    Maybe it's normal, I don't know. But I just want to be able to have sex. Helpful words? :)

    Sorry if this is the wrong forum.


Comments

  • #2
    Barracudaincork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 773 ✭✭✭Barracudaincork


    Practice makes perfect!

    I know that mightnt sound very compassionate to you, but its true, the only reason people get better at things (not just sex) is because they practice. You are no different than any other person who has slept with 3 people, one being a long term partner. In fact due to the fact you have had 1 long term partner you would be more experienced than say someone who has slept with 5 one night stands.

    Each and everyones sexual experiences are different, the amount of people you have slept with does not mean you are better in bed. In fact one ex of mine slept with more people than my current partner, but believe me my current partner is way better!!!

    The best thing to do is dress up, prepare yourself etc down there so you feel as sexy as you can be and then just go for it!


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    i'm a lot older than you and i've only had three partners too. the first was a school gf and we slept together for the last 6 months of our relationship. the second was a college gf and we had 8 good years. the third is my current gf. the first time with my current gf was nerve-wracking because i thought the same as you, i'd only slept with two girls so how could i please her, how would i know what she wanted, i would have been better off if i'd shagged 20 girls so i knew how to do it better.

    this, of course, is absolute nonsense. she has been with a lot more men than i have women and it doesn't make you better at sex or a more appealing partner. with her i just let myself be myself, threw myself into it so to speak, just as i had with my first and second gf's. if you like the person and open yourself up to enjoying being with them, then sex will follow naturally and you shouldn't feel at all pressured to perform or excel in doing it, just enjoy it and they will enjoy it too.


  • #4
    dublingal80
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,540 ✭✭✭dublingal80


    Just relax and enjoy it! believe me you wont forget what to do. I was with an ex for a year and a half and then had a break of nearly 2 years where i didnt sleep with anyone. I dont believe in one night stands and i hadnt met anyone i liked, was very anit men! so when I met my OH i was crapping myself cos it had been so long and i had 1 other person before him. So after seeing him about a month, he came over to mine, both of us had a glass of wine to relax us and it was perfect. best ever :)


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