Not a True Blue Loyal?

LegacyUser

How do you tell when something is up? Without blowing it out of proportion or looking weedy and insecure that is...

Been through very stormy waters recently with the GF, including a short break. Seem to be coming through now though, and although not perfect, slowly improving.

Noticed she trades allot of txts with a friend of hers who I figured as in the "friend zone", but not happy about it. She was running through her txts, which btw she now has a password on and they seem to txt every day, several times. Far outnumbering anyone else's. Few other signs during the relationship, like she told me once he said she was the only girl he truly trusted. He is pretty playful with her and even friends of his and hers have mentioned this before.

I do trust her, to an extent. Experience has thought me though, she is very capable of following her emotions and justifying whatever she does latter.

So how do I tell the signs?

james.xix

I’d hate to be in that position.

I’ve ex’s numbers but it’s an odd text.

She seems to be over doing it. Passwords, are you serious?

Why did she tell you that about trust, that come across as really mean and nasty.

There is talk on here of passive aggression, I would see that as such.

If someone’s in a relationship, being playful with someone else is a bit much.

She doesn’t seem to be giving you the attention she should. I’d walk away from that, it appears like it will end in disaster and you’re the one who will get hurt the most.

The longer ye are together, the harder it will be for you when it ends. You cannot go on like that.

Go with your gut.

If she is likely to follow her emotions and justify latter it will end in disaster.

Move on man, you seem to know the signs yourself.

Good luck!:cool:

That_Guy

If there was trust involved on both sides then there'd be no need for passwords on her text messages. You've a right to be suspicious if she's going to the extent of that.

Have you read her messages?
If the answer is no then, if I were in your position it would set alarm bells ringing.

Personally I'd confront her about it and ask if there's anything going on.

Perhaps on your break from each other she may have hooked up with this guy.

LegacyUser

james.xix wrote: »

She seems to be over doing it. Passwords, are you serious?

Go with your gut.

If she is likely to follow her emotions and justify latter it will end in disaster.

Yeah password on txts all of a sudden. Na, I do not read her msgs. Something about her friends having a peak at msgs.

The last bit is hard to judge, allot of girls seem to do this imo? My Gf of course denies it, but her track record would follow suit. Logic I am slowly learning, goes out the window at times.

Thus, for confronting her, I would want to be sure. It is very possible if I was wrong she would see it as an attack on herself rather then the logic behind why I was asking! Not to mention even if correct, she may just lie?

Ironically earlier in the relationship, using the same logic I was not bothered at all. Sure, as long as I did my bit, he would not get a look in. I should also note, I have heard from others he talks about me a bit, few flattering comparisons and one up man ship kinda stuff, is of the belief I am jealous of him. How he got that idea, I have no clue as I never talk about him..

Course it does not really matter if he is interested, it is my Gf's interest that counts.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Doesn't sound good. She might be using him for an emotional crutch and has no real interest but on the other hand sounds like a chronic amount of texting. How old are they? doesn't seem all that normal to me for close friends to be texting constantly, would usually ring each othee when neccesary. People text when they're flirting. AS well as that you would have to be concerned if she needs that kind of crutch from another guy.

Blueloyal wrote: »

Course it does not really matter if he is interested, it is my Gf's interest that counts.

Well that's the PC line. If you two were to have a fight and she turned to him for comfort, they go for drinks, click unusually well, she "accidently" ends up kissing him....

Him talking about you negatively in the context he's doing is a bad sign, if he were a proper platonic friend he wouldn't come out with that kind of thing.

How does he act around you when you're there?

LegacyUser

Early twenties.

Don't see him that often at all, playful with my GF though and sends the odd sly jibe my way. Probably give as good as I get though , so hard to tell. But, apparently he does talk about me to others.

How do I approach the topic though and do I have good reason to?

Bottle_of_Smoke

Blueloyal wrote: »

Early twenties.

Don't see him that often at all, playful with my GF though and sends the odd sly jibe my way. Probably give as good as I get though , so hard to tell. But, apparently he does talk about me to others.

How do I approach the topic though and do I have good reason to?

Don't know what answer to give you, its different for everyone. My strategy here would be to try and get along with him. Careful not to try impress him or anything but just be yourself around him. He probably thinks you're a decent guy but doesnt want to because he fancies your girlfriend.

With her its a grey area. Any suggestion of him being interested will be translated as you trying to control her. If you're going out with her and friends maybe suggest he comes along. She might start talking about him then and you can gauge the situation easier.

LegacyUser

On the one hand, the indirect method is more diplomatic and safer.

On the other hand, I am dating herself, not him. When he is around, I am friendly. Maybe it is my inflated ego, but getting him to like me more seems like a round about way to do it? Plus, knowing allot of guys, unless he is your buddy, you probably don't care much if he is a nice or bad guy.

I do not like his attitude as I perceive it, as txting someone else's GF everyday and telling her she is the only girl he trusts, plus the playful antics imo is a pretty clear cut case.

But, it really comes down to my GF at the end of the day. How I approach that topic, I am unsure?

Like all guys, the directest method possible is preferable..