Newly single..

LegacyUser

And I hate it.

I hate being on my own. i hate sleeping on my own. and its fine at the moment i have college and projects to do but I'm really not looking forward to spending christmas pretty much alone.

I didn't even want to break up with my now-ex boyfriend, he just screwed things up so bad for us that i had to, even though i'm still madly in love with him..

I honestly hate this feeling of just pure emptiness in my chest. The minute im home on my own i just cry, and cry.

its nothing to do with insecurities im just so used to falling asleep next to my partner for the last 3 years.

I know it will go away evenutally and i wil move on, but what on earth am i meant to do in the mean time? cry in self pity every night?

it just honestly sucks... and i don't know what to do.

Koushki

hey there singleblues,

I feel terrible for you. because i know exactly what you mean because I'm pretty much going through the same thing at the moment.
when you say he screwed up, how did he?
It hurts alot, and i don't know what to do either, all i can say is try keep yourself busy, set yourself things to look forward to.
good luck

That_Guy

Breaking up with somebody is always hard having spent so much time with somebody.

You broke up with him for your own reasons so now you've got to move on.
Go out with friends, meet new people and make sure you cut all contact with your ex. It's the best way to move on.

It's horrible but it's the easiest way of coping with things.

I know how you feel about feeling an emptiness in your chest. It feels like it can never be filled and you feel like there's nothing you can do. But trust me it gets better.

You've got college projects and stuff to do so focus completely on that for now.

Have you got family you can go to for Christmas? Being single at Christmas is no big deal. Just don't buy into the advertising that makes it seem that Christmas is just for couples because it's not.

santana75

What are you supposed to do? Nothing. Dont do anything. Youre experiencing loss and loss is a part of being alive. The same way as gain is a part of being alive. This is life, sometimes youre up sometimes youre down.
I know what youre going through and it is tough. Having somebody there to keep you company in life one day and the next its you all by your lonesome. And at christmas aswell!! Surrounded by couples and families, it just seems like the whole world has somebody except you.
Sorry, Im probably depressing you even more with this. But what youre going through is natural, the big cycle of life and the only thing you can do is ACCEPT IT. And thats it. Thats all you're required to do. Youve lost something that you had for 3 years that was special and nurtured you in many ways. Yes it was also difficult and probably caused you a lot of trouble and thats why you ended things. But even relationships that cause us trouble can be missed sorely. So theres now a void in your life and when this happens its very tempting to fill that void with another person. Please dont do this. Allow yourself to grieve and go through the natural process of loss. People who try to short circuit this process and bounce from one partner to the next are never happy. Theyre always chasing somebody so as to try and avoid the pain of loss. But what this does is make them needy and vunerable to abuse and to being walked upon. So you have to accept and feel the pain of loss because its a natural process which will ultimately make you strong and independent.

So overall my advice would be to just accept you've taken a hit here and allow the process to take its course. Dont hook up with another guy because like I said thats just an avoidance mechanism which wont work. Be by yourself for a while. I know its scary after being with somebody for so long, but dont let fear control you. You'll be ok by yourself, trust me. I mean you got by fine without a boyfriend for whatever amount of years before this relationship so you'll get by now. People can be so afraid to be by themselves that they'll do crazy things and tolerate so much crap. They forget that theyre a self-integrated individual whos capable of functioning by themselves, a person who can also look after themselves.
So accept the loss and by doing that I guarantee you'll feel better. Its a paradox but its true: Once you accept the loss it goes away and ceases to affect you so much. But if you fight it and try to cover it up with another person..........thats when the trouble starts.

Hope this makes sense and I hope it didnt come across as preachy or cold and clinical. Im sorry youre hurting so much at this time of the year and I hope you'll ok soon.