met a nice girl but

LES23

Hey

I am an avid reader of this page and i have just signed up becuase i hace a small problem.
A few weeks ago i met this in a night club.Just got chatting.seemed nice so i asdked her for phone number.so she did. Since then we have met three times, cinema, dinner and a drink. when together she is nice , sound. i like her.

but when apart i seem to be the one doing all the running. like shw woulde never text me first or the n when i do text her she could take hours to reply. it would be nice to get a text now and again as i have onle met her three times in six weeks. i have dated girls before and i am not looking for a full blown on relationship but it would be nice if she suggested someting fun tod do.

i suppose i am looking for re assurance from people who read this or am i over reacting or is it early days and just see what happens and it may get better or i like texting and facebook and all that and i find it hard to relate to a person who doesnt.

any comments
Thanks for reading

Nevyn

Some people are texters and some people are not, if it's an issue talk to her about it.

liah

Sounds like she's either playing by "The Rules" (which, imo, means she wouldn't be worth spending time on, but that's just my point of view and doesn't apply to everyone) or she's really just not that interested in you.

"The Rules" being playing hard to get, not texting back immediately, "wait a few hours before replying," that kind of thing. It's juvenile and a headwreck for any guy who's remotely genuinely interested in a girl and wants a little give and take.

It's really up to you whether you want to spend time playing the game, but as Thaedydal said, just talk to her about it and find out what the deal is.

dublingal80

she is either playing games or she isnt that interested

Why have you only met her 3 times in six weeks.. Usually when you start dating someone you would try and see them twice a week.

I have a friend who does that whole rules thing which i HATE. She wont text a guy first and she will wait a few hours before texting him back. If they guy doesnt text her she will eventually text him first. So stop contacting her and see what happens. If you dont hear from her, you know where you stand

Miss Fluff

Sounds to me like she is abiding by the "rules" as well. Just be honest and tell her it would be nice to hear from her instead sometimes. She wouldn't have gone on 3 dates with you if she wasn't in some way interested. Why so sporadic incidentally? Would you like to see her more often?

LES23

thank you for comments.
nice to hear stuff that deep down i was probably thinking the same.
both have busy jobs so thats why three times in six weeks.
yeah she is either doing the Rules or just does not have enough interest.

will give it one or two more meetings and then ask what is the story.
i suppose i am asking these questions becuase i would like to see more of her

Gyalist

LES23 wrote: »

but when apart i seem to be the one doing all the running. like shw woulde never text me first or the n when i do text her she could take hours to reply. it would be nice to get a text now and again as i have onle met her three times in six weeks. i have dated girls before and i am not looking for a full blown on relationship but it would be nice if she suggested someting fun tod do.

You have to be certain in your own mind of what you want. You say you don't want a full blown relationship yet you expect her to invest more time and effort. Why would she invest her time and effort in someone who doesn't want a relationship?

It's also ridiculous to expect anyone to reply to texts immediately. If it's that important, call her.

i suppose i am looking for re assurance from people who read this or am i over reacting or is it early days and just see what happens and it may get better or i like texting and facebook and all that and i find it hard to relate to a person who doesnt.

You are overreacting and, tbh, you are coming across as needy. By your actions you are saying you want a casual relationship but from your words you seem to want something more.

LES23

Hi Gyalist

yeah maybe you are right about being over reacting and needy.yo could be.

i do know what i want though. i would like a relationship with this girl but not i am not a person for constant texts and phonecalls. just a simple phonecall or texts to say hello would be nice.

also you are right not to expect a text straight away. of course that is unrealsitc but so is still no reply six hours later all the time.

i think i need to talk to her.

LegacyUser

LES23 wrote: »

i suppose i am asking these questions becuase i would like to see more of her

im female and i know girls who play the rules and who try not to be 'too available'(i dont agree with it)....but it kinda sounds like its working...

Liam Byrne

well.... wrote: »

but it kinda sounds like its working...

A very loose "kinda", because reading between the lines the OP is saying "should I bother ?".....

OP, if you like her I'd say give it another week or two; and if things don't improve by then, make a call on it - to either say it to her or else let it go.

sporina

ok, first of all - texting can be misleading - as some people are not into it.

but what about when ye are together? do you feel a buzz? how are things going? have ye kissed or??

do you know much about her? is she being cautious?

if I were into a guy I would show more interest at this stage?

if she does like you but playing the rules you may have problems in the future as that is v juvenile..

magneticimpulse

yeah some people are not into texting. ive lived out of ireland a few years now and cant believe how mobile phones are glued to peoples hands. never see that at all in france. if ya want to talk to someone here, you ring them. so maybe she just isnt into texting? i wouldnt worry about it so much. its difficult for girls to get the balance right. we dont want to come across as bunny boilers so maybe she just taking it easy and not smoothering you

james.xix

LES23 wrote: »

Hey

I am an avid reader of this page and i have just signed up becuase i hace a small problem.
A few weeks ago i met this in a night club.Just got chatting.seemed nice so i asdked her for phone number.so she did. Since then we have met three times, cinema, dinner and a drink. when together she is nice , sound. i like her.

but when apart i seem to be the one doing all the running. like shw woulde never text me first or the n when i do text her she could take hours to reply. it would be nice to get a text now and again as i have onle met her three times in six weeks. i have dated girls before and i am not looking for a full blown on relationship but it would be nice if she suggested someting fun tod do.

i suppose i am looking for re assurance from people who read this or am i over reacting or is it early days and just see what happens and it may get better or i like texting and facebook and all that and i find it hard to relate to a person who doesnt.

any comments
Thanks for reading

I never get bothered by texting first most of the time.
It is cool/nice though for the girl though every once in a while.

Do you know what hours she works, are you texting her when she could be busy with work?

Some girls like a guy to be in control. Maybe you should encourage more every few days to meet and don’t be afraid to.

It is early days but you might have to do a bit more running in suggesting meeting up. Seems to be the girls she is that you will have to.

LES23

Liam Byrne - I would agree with you. kinda is not working is what i am thinking too.it is headwrecking.
sporina - yeah it is a great buzz. was hurt before a few years ago, have dated since bur this is the first girl i have been excitedabout in years. so that is why i am frustrated.

to answer the other contributors i guess i just have to ask her. will make it light hearted nd say something like do you not use your phone or somrthing.
at least i will know then is she cautious ot just not a texter