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Can't cope

  • 09-12-2009 10:22am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Only yesterday on the anniversary of my mums death does my ex long term boyfriend tell me that he has met someone and that he gets on really well with her. It has not been long since we split up and its about the same length of time from our break up it to meet this girl as it was for me to meet him. Even back when we first met I did mention to him that I thought it was a bit soon for to move on and he had said no he was ready...so he moves on quickly...and here am I still trying to get over him. He has the perfect Christmas and New year now with someone new and I have been sitting here crying my eyes out with thoughts of how happy it is all going to be for him. I did send him a text saying that I was happy for him. I would have thought I would have been the one to have moved on and found someone first.

    Can anyone give me hope that this feeling all goes away and that life gets better, cos right now I am feeling lost and alone

    Please help


Comments

  • #2
    snowy2008
    Closed Accounts Posts: 468 ✭✭snowy2008


    i lost both of my parents this year and its really tough, especially around anniversarys, what he did was appauling, he should have had a bit more sensitivity but you know whats for you wont pass you, you know, maybe he did you a favour and let you have some time out for yourself and let someone who deserves you into your life coz he doesnt deserve one of your tears


  • #3
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    Why are you still talking to him if he is your ex?
    You would be better off cutting all contact with him in order to move on with your life.
    You don't need to know how great things are for him, it's not helping.
    Remove him totally from your life.


  • #4
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,217 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    What Beruthiel said. It's a natural thing to hold onto emotional stuff like this, especially considering the very difficult year you've had. Yes it is easy to say, just cut him out of your life completely and it will be difficult, but staying in contact will make things much harder in the long term for you. And yes it will get easier and it will get better. The one constant in life is change and if it's hard now, then it can only get better for you.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Op here,

    In reply to Beruthiel, my ex was my friend before I ever went out with him and we have remained friends since the break up. It has been a particular tough year for me with all that has happened. I think the worst thing for me is that I still have feelings for him and I still feel like I am right back where he left me...still in love with him. I seriously want to move on but I do not want to lose his friendship as we had been so long together, but as you say hearing about how happy his life is going isn't a good thing for me to hear. I do not text him much at all now but he does text me.

    I am just feeling like I am going to have a rotten Christmas and New Year's eve. I do understand I should break contact from him and leave him be. But he always texts me and even though I do not reply directly I sometimes leave till the following day. I am trying to convince him that I have moved on, when I have not.

    I just want the feelings I have for him to go away and for things to stop reminding me of him like, certain movies, songs etc... it just hurts so


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