Child protection and spiritual thinking

Warner

As a survivor of abuse I left the catholic church years ago.
Since then I have explored staying within the christian churches, new age spirituality in various forms and buddhism.

The recent report on the handling of abuse within the Dublin diosesce has been very upsetting.

It seems to me that there are probably many contributing factors such as the churches views on sexuality in general, its views on the position of women, celibacy, obedience, heirarchy etc etc that have contributed to not only the abuse of children but the silencing of any reports of abuse and the moving around of known child abusers from one dioesece to another.

I find it perfectly understandable that with the failing of the catholic church to provide genuine leadership and credible teachings on life as it is lived today so many people should turn away from it and try to find develop something else.
People try to develop or accept various philosophical thoughts as ways of making sense of the world. These thoughts go on to help us develop a story of our lives and to help us in our decision making.

It is my belief that any spiritual belief system must now be put under examination to see how its own system of beliefs could possibly help to support and protect children.
If these beliefs could be used to support or legitimate someone in continuing their abuse then I believe the thinking/belief needs to be re examined. This goes as much for any new age thinking as it does for the catholic church.
The last thing we want to do is develop another system of beliefs that once again creates such suffering in the lives of children.

I wish to put forward a few commonly held beliefs theorys from within the new age movement and ask that they be examined in this light.

• There is no past or future there is only now.

If we first concentrate on how this statement can be heard by an abuser it could be an ideal escape clause, leaving no room for taking responsibility for ones actions or even really looking at them if you dont feel like it.
This thinking is somewhat related in my opinion to the relocation of priests who have abused children to other areas with children in the belief that confession wipes away all our sins and we start anew. The past is forgotten but there is no real understanding or desire to find out about the nature of child abusers.

• There is no such thing as sin.

This ones kind of simular.

• Nothing is real its all an illusion.

Mind games playing with what is reality can be fun. For people whos reality is questionable, ok downright damaging to others it can be a useful tool to once again not look at the effect of ones actions on another.
e.g. "for me that was a beautiful relationship. You dont understand children they have a right to be sexual"
"Im not an abuser, I dont (a) tie them up (b) touch anyone under 13 (c) touch anyone who says no or screams.
"In their country this is accepted and the idea of abuse is your reality not mine or theirs"

• You create your own reality.

This one has long been used to get suvivors to accept responsibility for their part in the abuse. I have heard an adult say this about her own childhood abuse at a very young age.

Someone once said that we build our spirituality religion to fit our own neurosis.

I would like to look at the above statements not in their ideal forms if all were well. Much catholic church teaching like forgiving the sinner ( well some sinners) would have worked well if the individuals had not been child abusers.

Filling ourselves with light positivity etc feels good but if people in charge of children cant see the dark/ evil/ mental illness/ danger/ abuse then they can not protect them from it,
So what does anyone think.

Warner

I know this is a difficult subject and in my last post may have addressed it in a confrontative way.
Many people who are survivors of abuse, addictions personal or within their families,violence etc turn to spirituality for sustenance and help.
In my own journey I was much relieved to be presented with philosophies that appeared to liberate me from my troubles. However as the unhealed scars began to manifest themselves in my life I found myself accused of not practicing properly, not understanding correctly, or being just plain ostracised from within my circle of spiritual friends.
I am doing just fine at the moment and consider this journey to have given me the opportunity to learn so much about myself.

I believe child sexual abuse or any abuse challenges us to look once again at the structures organisations and beliefs that allow it to go unchallenged.
There are many examples available of priests, gurus and teachers taking advantage of or abusing their followers. Just do a little browsing on the net.
We have to look at this.
It is not enough for catholics to say "well it was just a few bad priests" we know now it wasnt. And it isnt enough for followers of other traditions to use simular excuses like "well its just because we are human and not fully spirit" etc.

Im frustrated at my own lack of ability to get this across so I would urge anyone interested or on a spiritual path to read some articles by Rob Preece. He writes from within the Buddhist tradition as a respected highly experienced western practitioner.
I think his writing in deep searching and balanced.
Here are a couple of links.

On spiritual pathology
http://www.mudra.co.uk/mudra_pathology.html

On the teacher student relationship.
http://www.mudra.co.uk/mudra_teacher_part1.html

Introduction to his book The Wisdom Of Imperfection
http://www.mudra.co.uk/mudra_introduction2.html

Dr. Feelgood

I think this is a very interesting topic you've brought up. I can see how abusers could warp those "commenly held belief theories" you mentioned and make them feel thier actions are just.

I think that people that use these beliefs as an excuse to abuse other people either have a distorted sense of reality, or know themselves what they are doing is wrong.

I'd be very interested to hear what the more knowledgeable people on this board have to say.

Warner

I have a friend who was devastated that a film he loved and watched many times What The Bleep Do We Know had a participant in it who resigned from his position as Dean of the Faculty of Theology in Manyooth following allegations of abuse recorded in the Ferns report.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Ledwith

http://www.rte.ie/news/2002/0531/maynooth.html

I think this person appeared in the film talking about there being no such thing as sin.
He now has a career lecturing on New Age Spirituality around the world.

Theories can and do contribute to the way we make decisions and what we consider acceptable or not,