Feel sick with bf's female friends

LegacyUser

Sorry if this seems silly but it's bugging me a lot. I'm 24, my boyfriend is 26 and he has had quite a few girlfriends whom he's still in contact with. This actually doesn't bother me so much, I've spoken to several of his long term exes on nights out and been fine with it. It's more the fact that he's 'fooled around' casually with several female friends. I find myself talking to them and imagining my bf fingering them or them giving him head.....I find the thought revolting. It's really bothering me, help!

magneticimpulse

trust is a major part of a relationship and if you dont trust him, i dont you ever will! sometimes your gut feeling is right and trying to tell you he could be wrong for you?

you have to go with that gut feeling and decide if you are over reacting or if it really is bothering you.

james.xix

Unregistered wrote: »

Sorry if this seems silly but it's bugging me a lot. I'm 24, my boyfriend is 26 and he has had quite a few girlfriends whom he's still in contact with. This actually doesn't bother me so much, I've spoken to several of his long term exes on nights out and been fine with it. It's more the fact that he's 'fooled around' casually with several female friends. I find myself talking to them and imagining my bf fingering them or them giving him head.....I find the thought revolting. It's really bothering me, help!

I was in a relationship like that once.

It's not too bad he's in touch with ex's, can't imagine he done anything bad to any of them and they must have ended amicably enough.
If he's fooled around with friends before ye got together that cannot be held against him.
For you and ye as a relationship, I would think it's definitely important nothing like that is going on now.

Has anything happened to make you suspicious. Have you been on nights out and think for you he's getting a bit uncomfortably close to other girls or girl friends of his?

If yes, I can see where your concerned, if no I wouldn't be.

LegacyUser

No, it's not that I think he'd do anything with them, I don't think that. It just sort of disgusts me that they were just friends and yet they did sexual stuff together. I'm not a prude but I've never done the whole 'fooling around with your friends thing'. I'd never be able to give a guy head and go back to being mates the next morning. It's weird and unnatural to me, so I find it so hard to accept. All I can think of when I meet these girls is what they did with my boyfriend, even though I don't think about that when I meet his actual ex-girlfriends. I'm not sure why that is.

LegacyUser

It's normal enough to feel this way, both sides of the fence. Try not to let it get to you. You can associate with the ex-girlfriends, because what they had was more than just sex.

Another suggestion is, if your boyfriend is telling you this information or you are asking about it, stop it. Your curiosity might get the better of you, but on this matter usually ignorance is bliss, and as long as he is good to you, it doesn't matter what happened in his past.

seahorse

Unregistered wrote: »

No, it's not that I think he'd do anything with them, I don't think that. It just sort of disgusts me that they were just friends and yet they did sexual stuff together. I'm not a prude but I've never done the whole 'fooling around with your friends thing'. I'd never be able to give a guy head and go back to being mates the next morning. It's weird and unnatural to me, so I find it so hard to accept. All I can think of when I meet these girls is what they did with my boyfriend, even though I don't think about that when I meet his actual ex-girlfriends. I'm not sure why that is.

The reason you are finding this difficult to accept is because you can't relate to it. Sex within a relationship you can relate to; sex within friendship you can't. Personally I can see where you're coming from. I would find it weird and unnatural too.