Big problem... Need Advice

Le King

Sorry for wasting everyone's time. This girl is a total liar. Apologies.

STUBBORNGIRL

Osu wrote: »

I really don't want to go into massive detail about this because it has my heart wrenching thinking about it. But here it goes....

I've been going out with my girlfriend for nearly 3 years now. Recently I got a part time job up closer to college to help me pay expenses etc. One of my girl friends in college got me the job. To make a long story short we ended up having sex 3 or 4 times with no protection whatsoever after a night out. I crashed at her place.

My problem... She is pregnant. I have 8 months to tell my gf, parents etc. about it. Also, My gf has friends in my college and people are going to notice this girl being pregnant, obviously.

I have asked for an abortion but she says she wants to be with me, with the baby... Which is an even bigger problem because I want to be with my gf. The whole thing is a horrible mistake and I can't even begin to comprehend how regrettable it was.

My head is spinning right now and I know people will think I'm being selfish by asking for an abortion but I really can't do this, not now.

I need a way to explain to this girl how I don't want to be with her. I need to explain to my gf how I cheated on her and broke her trust.

I know at this stage my gf will leave me, relationships are built and broken on trust.

I just need help and quickly. This girl isn't going away but I have time on my side as she hasn't told her parents yet.

I'm literally Sh*tting myself right now. Please help.

i feel for you but you know what - when you say you love your girlfriend you have a funny way of showing it! if you really loved her you would not have done what you did in the first place!

Unprotected Sex aswell - what were you thinking?? If you are going to play away then at least be safe! imagine what disease you could have caught and also you may have passed onto your girlfriend! she doesnt deserve that!

you have gotten yourself into a terrible predicament but now you have to stand up and be counted! Stop bullying that girl into an abortion just to save your life! Whats done is done but now you need to be the man and put your hand up and tell your girlfriend what you have done! Fair enough you dont want to be with this other girl and you need to let her knwo this but that doesnt take away from the fact that ye have made a baby together!

i wouldnt like to be in your situation but there is no easy way out of this and 8 months is not buying yourself time - its just prolonging something that is going to haunt you unless you can admit to what you have done sooner rather than later!

Maybe your girlfriend loves you so much she can see beyond your infidelity and things will be okay but you will not know until you deal with immediately

i wish you the best of luck!

LegacyUser

are you sure she is pregnant- have you seen a positive test? ive heard a few girls cry wolf to influence a guy into a relationship.

if she is you will have to do your duty as a dad if she wants to keep it, but you should make it clear to her early on that you will support the baby and her, but not as a boyfriend if thats what you want.

you do stand to lose your girlfriend - face it, aside from pregnancy you didnt even consider what else you might have picked up and passed on to your gf. if i were her i would be absolutely hopping. and you deserve it. once is bad enough, but 4 times. for shame.

you dont have 8 months to sort it out. you have about 4 until she starts showing so firstly make sure she is pregnant, and be straight with all involved as soon as you can..

good luck

james.xix

Not to have a go but you really only have yourself to blame.
Playing the field and having unprotected sex you were only asking for trouble.

Someone said she might not be pregnant, you might have 2-3 months to gather your thoughts and see what you want.

You should not have asked her for an abortion, if you play the field unprotected, this happens so you have to live with it.

If you really want to be with your girlfriend you wouldn’t have been playing around like this. Your only thinking of yourself.

You have a double responsibility now, you cannot hide having a kid from you girlfriend, not telling her within the next three months will lead to big trouble for you.

You are being selfish, you are right on that.

If you don’t want to be with the girlfriend you knocked up, it probably is best to tell her in the next 2-3 weeks. It’s not your place to ask for an abortion but at least she knows what is ahead of her.

If she wants to keep the baby, you can’t just wash your hands of the situation.

Your girlfriend probably will leave you but she might not. You can’t keep this from her though if you are going to be a dad.

There’s not much people her can do to help. You seem to know yourself what to do.

All the best to you.

SarahSassy

You ducked and dived and sneaked around behind you gf's back and now you are trying to duck and dive and sneak around this issue. Basically you want your fling to kill your baby so you don't get inconvenienced and / or caught out and you can keep going with your poor unsuspecting gf. Shame on you for your lies and your weakness. Time to grow a pair and account got your actions , firstly with no more unprotected sex with your gf. What a bloody mess you have created

Le King

STUBBORNGIRL wrote: »

i feel for you but you know what - when you say you love your girlfriend you have a funny way of showing it! if you really loved her you would not have done what you did in the first place!

Unprotected Sex aswell - what were you thinking?? If you are going to play away then at least be safe! imagine what disease you could have caught and also you may have passed onto your girlfriend! she doesnt deserve that!

you have gotten yourself into a terrible predicament but now you have to stand up and be counted! Stop bullying that girl into an abortion just to save your life! Whats done is done but now you need to be the man and put your hand up and tell your girlfriend what you have done! Fair enough you dont want to be with this other girl and you need to let her knwo this but that doesnt take away from the fact that ye have made a baby together!

i wouldnt like to be in your situation but there is no easy way out of this and 8 months is not buying yourself time - its just prolonging something that is going to haunt you unless you can admit to what you have done sooner rather than later!

Maybe your girlfriend loves you so much she can see beyond your infidelity and things will be okay but you will not know until you deal with immediately

i wish you the best of luck!

To be perfectly frank with you I wouldn't care what I've caught right now. All I can think is what next.

Situation right now is, and this is hear say, that she told her friends before hand that she wanted to have a child with me. Right now I don't know why someone would do that, without my consent. Fair enough, I'm an absolute langball for doing it in the first place, but at the same time she doesn't drink so she wasn't drunk when this happened. My girlfriend knows, I've put whatever left of the little self-respect I have for myself and told my girlfriend.

I don't want to bully this girl into anything. If she has the kid, I will take care of he/she. I'm not the devil. I just don't think it's right to bring a child into the world to two parents who won't be together and all because she "just wants a child for the sake of it" (via text). I take responsibility for this. This is my fault. But I'm not alone.

querty 1123 wrote: »

are you sure she is pregnant- have you seen a positive test? ive heard a few girls cry wolf to influence a guy into a relationship.

if she is you will have to do your duty as a dad if she wants to keep it, but you should make it clear to her early on that you will support the baby and her, but not as a boyfriend if thats what you want.

you do stand to lose your girlfriend - face it, aside from pregnancy you didnt even consider what else you might have picked up and passed on to your gf. if i were her i would be absolutely hopping. and you deserve it. once is bad enough, but 4 times. for shame.

you dont have 8 months to sort it out. you have about 4 until she starts showing so firstly make sure she is pregnant, and be straight with all involved as soon as you can..

good luck

Thanks, no I haven't seen the pregnancy test. Nor has anyone else. Maybe I'm a gullible fool. I mean, I know she liked me before, but I don't think she is sick enough to tell me she is pregnant, just for the sake of a relationship.

james.xix wrote: »

Not to have a go but you really only have yourself to blame.
Playing the field and having unprotected sex you were only asking for trouble.

Someone said she might not be pregnant, you might have 2-3 months to gather your thoughts and see what you want.

You should not have asked her for an abortion, if you play the field unprotected, this happens so you have to live with it.

If you really want to be with your girlfriend you wouldn’t have been playing around like this. Your only thinking of yourself.

You have a double responsibility now, you cannot hide having a kid from you girlfriend, not telling her within the next three months will lead to big trouble for you.

You are being selfish, you are right on that.

If you don’t want to be with the girlfriend you knocked up, it probably is best to tell her in the next 2-3 weeks. It’s not your place to ask for an abortion but at least she knows what is ahead of her.

If she wants to keep the baby, you can’t just wash your hands of the situation.

Your girlfriend probably will leave you but she might not. You can’t keep this from her though if you are going to be a dad.

There’s not much people her can do to help. You seem to know yourself what to do.

All the best to you.

Thanks. I really am a sack. I feel like dirt. I don't want to harm anyone. It was a mistake that will live with me forever.

SarahSassy wrote: »

You ducked and dived and sneaked around behind you gf's back and now you are trying to duck and dive and sneak around this issue. Basically you want your fling to kill your baby so you don't get inconvenienced and / or caught out and you can keep going with your poor unsuspecting gf. Shame on you for your lies and your weakness. Time to grow a pair and account got your actions , firstly with no more unprotected sex with your gf. What a bloody mess you have created

I haven't told any lies. I am human, I have feelings, I know what I have done. I can't wrong this right. I haven't had sex with my girlfriend since, I'm not a complete evil bastard all-together. Yeah, I have hurt a lot of people by doing this. I accept that. What I don't accept is being taken for a complete idiot by some girl who is literally messing with my head.


She has told her friends. I think I'm going to try and be as cool headed as I can and see what she wants to do tomorrow.

I'll try do what is right for me and her. Sometimes a man has to do, what he gotta do.

magneticimpulse

you say you love your girlfriend. but then how could you have slept with this other girl?? not only once, but 4 times and unprotected. you just have to go with the "right thing" to do.

1. Tell your girlfriend, you slept with this other girl, unprotected too. You will most likely loose her, but its too late for that now. Be an honest man. You will learn for next time not to cheat.
2. Tell the girl, you will stand by her. Stop making her get an abortion, too late for that now, should have thought about that when you injected your sperm 4 times inside her.
3. Tell your family you cheated on your girlfriend and some girl is having your kid.

The quicker you get it out in the open the better. Sometimes you just have to be a man and face up to your actions. Take it as a lesson for next time and wear a condom!!! Its how babies are made.

STUBBORNGIRL

Osu wrote: »

To be perfectly frank with you I wouldn't care what I've caught right now. All I can think is what next.

Situation right now is, and this is hear say, that she told her friends before hand that she wanted to have a child with me.
I'll try do what is right for me and her. Sometimes a man has to do, what he gotta do.

okay - well you should care about what you have caught!

who did you hear from that she wanted to have a child with you from?? This is a very childish statement to be honest! what age are ye out of interest - you say you are in college so i gather that you are young enough!

There is only one way a guy can get himself into a mess like this and that is by having unprotected sex with a girl! It doesnt matter that she wanted a child with you ( which is pretty sad if you ask me) its the preventative methods that were in your control that you chose to ignore! I dont understand why you would have sex with someone a few times unprotected!

What did your girlfriend say??? do you still have one? im assuming you have only just told her because in your initial post she wasnt aware of any of this?

sorry for all the questions but theres something about this that isnt sitting right with me!

magneticimpulse

Maybe go for an STD test to be sure. You said this girl wanted to have a kid with you? And you say she was sober? Well alcohol is no excuse for you. Im sure she didnt put a bullet to your head to have sex with no condom. And if you really didnt want to have sex with her, why did you do it 4 times? Not to mention, you must have been aware what you were doing because you would not have been able to get a hard on if you were that drunk.

Gyalist

I'll leave the self-righteous moralising to the previous posters who have clearly led completely blameless lives.

Your situation is not ideal but it is not the end of the world. Firstly, insist that she take a pregnancy test in your presence. Do not take her word for it that she is pregnant. Secondly, if she is pregnant, you will have to tell her that you have no intention of pursuing a relationship with her and tell your girlfriend the situation as soon as possible after it is confirmed whether or not she is pregnant. The pregnancy test has to be done as a matter of urgency. Do not listen to rumours from third parties.

OS119

^^^that^^^

if this girl is up the duff then your relationship with your GF is over, so there's little point worrying about it.

distasteful as it is, the girl may be making decisions based on thinking that you'll have a relationship together because you have a baby. disabuse her of that idea right now - let her know that there is no chance whatsoever of a relationship. it may work...

sorry mate, but i think anone stupid enough to decide - long before any emotional relationship - that they'd like to have a child with that person 'just for the sake of it' is going to be a millstone round your neck. this is not a person blessed with good decision making skills...

kittenkiller

You need to tell your gf before anyone else finds out and tells her for you.
Imagine if someone else broke the news and your gf standing there screaming the house down at them "My fella'd never do that! How dare you even suggest that! He wouldn't do that to me!"
And then you have to admit that it's true to her?
Harsh!

Man up and tell her straight.
Maybe arrange that she has a good friend close at hand so she has someone she can be around once the news hits.

Write it down on a piece of paper and at least then if you don't have the nerve to say it to her face you can give it to her and stick around for the fallout.
She needs to find out as soon as possible.
For her sake.
Let it be the last nice thing you do for her!

LegacyUser

Osu wrote: »

To be perfectly frank with you I wouldn't care what I've caught right now. All I can think is what next.

Situation right now is, and this is hear say, that she told her friends before hand that she wanted to have a child with me. Right now I don't know why someone would do that, without my consent. Fair enough, I'm an absolute langball for doing it in the first place, but at the same time she doesn't drink so she wasn't drunk when this happened. My girlfriend knows, I've put whatever left of the little self-respect I have for myself and told my girlfriend.

I don't want to bully this girl into anything. If she has the kid, I will take care of he/she. I'm not the devil. I just don't think it's right to bring a child into the world to two parents who won't be together and all because she "just wants a child for the sake of it" (via text). I take responsibility for this. This is my fault. But I'm not alone.




Thanks, no I haven't seen the pregnancy test. Nor has anyone else. Maybe I'm a gullible fool. I mean, I know she liked me before, but I don't think she is sick enough to tell me she is pregnant, just for the sake of a relationship.



Thanks. I really am a sack. I feel like dirt. I don't want to harm anyone. It was a mistake that will live with me forever.



I haven't told any lies. I am human, I have feelings, I know what I have done. I can't wrong this right. I haven't had sex with my girlfriend since, I'm not a complete evil bastard all-together. Yeah, I have hurt a lot of people by doing this. I accept that. What I don't accept is being taken for a complete idiot by some girl who is literally messing with my head.


She has told her friends. I think I'm going to try and be as cool headed as I can and see what she wants to do tomorrow.

I'll try do what is right for me and her. Sometimes a man has to do, what he gotta do.

Seriously, tell me your joking. "I haven't told any lies." So you told your girlfriend you were going to be sleeping with some other girl. "Taken for a complete idiot by some girl who is messing with your head." what so she made u sleep with her and made you not be careful. What about you messing with your girlfriends head. "Sometimes a man has to do what a man has to do." Which is what exactly have unprotected sex with some girl from college behind your girlfriends back and get her pregnant, then tell her to have an abortion.? Real men don't behave like this. I think self pity, i'm the "victim" in all of this attitude is going to do you no favours. You need to man up and grow a pair.

ManOfMystery

Osu wrote: »

I really don't want to go into massive detail about this because it has my heart wrenching thinking about it. But here it goes....

I've been going out with my girlfriend for nearly 3 years now. Recently I got a part time job up closer to college to help me pay expenses etc. One of my girl friends in college got me the job. To make a long story short we ended up having sex 3 or 4 times with no protection whatsoever after a night out. I crashed at her place.

My problem... She is pregnant. I have 8 months to tell my gf, parents etc. about it. Also, My gf has friends in my college and people are going to notice this girl being pregnant, obviously.

I have asked for an abortion but she says she wants to be with me, with the baby... Which is an even bigger problem because I want to be with my gf. The whole thing is a horrible mistake and I can't even begin to comprehend how regrettable it was.

My head is spinning right now and I know people will think I'm being selfish by asking for an abortion but I really can't do this, not now.

I need a way to explain to this girl how I don't want to be with her. I need to explain to my gf how I cheated on her and broke her trust.

I know at this stage my gf will leave me, relationships are built and broken on trust.

I just need help and quickly. This girl isn't going away but I have time on my side as she hasn't told her parents yet.

I'm literally Sh*tting myself right now. Please help.

You've pretty much made a series of big mistakes there and there's no point in me repeating the posts above - you know you've done wrong.

It's how you behave from here on that matters.

First off, you need to be honest with your girlfriend ASAP. You don't really have 8 months to tell her - do that and she'll be wondering why the hell you kept this from her so long. It's likely your relationship with her is now over anyway, so don't make it worse.

Secondly, you cannot force someone into having an abortion. As much as that may be what you want, if the mother of your child doesn't want it then you're going to have accept that and decide whether you're involved in this child's life or not. You don't have to be a partner to the girl you slept with, but you can be a father.

If you want to be a man, then man up and do the right thing - don't let another child grow up with a single mother and no sign of her biological father simply because you couldn't keep it in your pants.

You've done the deed now, you can't turn back the clock, but you can learn from this. You're in this situation because you were reckless, so try and take a more measured approach to things, clear your head and decide exactly what your plan of action is going to be.

Oh and one more tip - your post above really stinks of 'me, me, me - I can't do this, I can't deal with this' , etc. Try thinking outside of your own little box - There is a girl out there who has to go through pregnancy and has no idea if the man she slept with will support her in any way. There is another girl who's about to discover her long term partner has been sleeping around and has a child on the way with another girl. You're not the one who has to endure the worst in this.

LegacyUser

Are you saying she's not pregnant. Well if she's not be glad you found out what a bunny boiler she is and I hope you've learned a valuable lesson from this and think twice before you cheat.

kittenkiller

And now your gf can carry on regardless thinking she's going out with a decent guy.
Win win eh!?

Here's hoping you're not passing infections on to her these days!

Gyalist

Osu wrote: »

Sorry for wasting everyone's time. This girl is a total liar. Apologies.

Which is why I told you to insist on her taking a pregnancy test in your presence. You aren't the first person that this has happened to and you certainly won't be the last.

You still have a problem on your hands though: you have to tell your girlfriend what happened for the sake of her health. You had unprotected sex with a third party and you owe it to your girlfriend so she can protect her health and make an informed choice as to whether she wants to continue the reationship with you.

D-Generate

Osu wrote: »

My girlfriend knows, I've put whatever left of the little self-respect I have for myself and told my girlfriend.

He has told her already! Read all the posts before jumping down his throat trying to espouse your morals.

dublingal80

wow... what a ****!!!! What a way to learn a lesson!

Le King

kittenkiller wrote: »

And now your gf can carry on regardless thinking she's going out with a decent guy.
Win win eh!?

Here's hoping you're not passing infections on to her these days!

Me and GF are finished. I don't want to go back. I can't look myself in the eyes after this, never mind her, it's for the best. She doesn't deserve that.

Gyalist wrote: »

Which is why I told you to insist on her taking a pregnancy test in your presence. You aren't the first person that this has happened to and you certainly won't be the last.

You still have a problem on your hands though: you have to tell your girlfriend what happened for the sake of her health. You had unprotected sex with a third party and you owe it to your girlfriend so she can protect her health and make an informed choice as to whether she wants to continue the relationship with you.

As I have just said above me and GF are no more. But yeah, I know what you mean. But I didn't think of any of that stuff, you know? The last thing in my mind at the time was to ask for a pregnancy test. I was in too much shock to think straight.

D-Generate wrote: »

He has told her already! Read all the posts before jumping down his throat trying to espouse your morals.

Thanks.

dublingal80 wrote: »

wow... what a ****!!!! What a way to learn a lesson!

If that's a dig at me, thank you for the input. The more people pass comments, the more I begin to not care. I cheated, no excuses. I have had to face my music. I'm sure you have been a moral human being all you life with no mistakes. It's too easy to judge people. Maybe look at yourself and your problems, before trying to contribute to anyone else's problems.

I'm glad your so happy with your life, don't forget the title of the thread. Maybe read the titles more often rather than coming in to criticize. Its a plea for help, not an invitation to put someone down.

But hey, we all have problems. Get over it.

WhatWillBee

Wow cant believe the amount of bashing you are getting here. The guy said in his original post that he knew he had made a mistake i dont think he needed a load of posts telling him what he already knew. He came here for advice, not for people to state the bloomin obvious.

Anyway...

Glad to hear the situation has cleared up. I think given the circumstances and the situation you got yourself into, you handled this fall out quite well.

You manned up and told your girlfriend and also didnt let this crazy one get her claws into you with a petty lie. IMO she sounds like a right psycho! so good riddance.

Im sure youre girlfriend didnt take this well (stating the obvious I know ) but if you want her, you could make efforts to win her trust back. May not be possible and IMO if she was the one for you youd never have cheated multiple times anyway.

So the other option, is to chalk it up to experience. Youve learned not to give up a good thing for silly reasons. We all have to learn that at some point. Granted, you learned it the hard way, but I doubt you will make the same mistakes again as you seem truly remorseful.

So best of luck OP, you had a lucky escape here in one way (that she wasnt pregnant) so dont beat yourself up too much, you screwed up, you paid the price, now learn from it, move on and dont do it again!

Chinafoot

Osu wrote: »

If that's a dig at me, thank you for the input. The more people pass comments, the more I begin to not care. I cheated, no excuses. I have had to face my music. I'm sure you have been a moral human being all you life with no mistakes. It's too easy to judge people. Maybe look at yourself and your problems, before trying to contribute to anyone else's problems.

I'm glad your so happy with your life, don't forget the title of the thread. Maybe read the titles more often rather than coming in to criticize. Its a plea for help, not an invitation to put someone down.

But hey, we all have problems. Get over it.

I thought it was pretty obvious myself that dublingal80 was referring to the girl you were shagging. Hence the "what a way to learn a lesson" part.

Advice for the future. Lose the attitude.

LegacyUser

Osu wrote: »

Me and GF are finished. I don't want to go back. I can't look myself in the eyes after this, never mind her, it's for the best. She doesn't deserve that.



As I have just said above me and GF are no more. But yeah, I know what you mean. But I didn't think of any of that stuff, you know? The last thing in my mind at the time was to ask for a pregnancy test. I was in too much shock to think straight.



Thanks.


If that's a dig at me, thank you for the input. The more people pass comments, the more I begin to not care. I cheated, no excuses. I have had to face my music. I'm sure you have been a moral human being all you life with no mistakes. It's too easy to judge people. Maybe look at yourself and your problems, before trying to contribute to anyone else's problems.

I'm glad your so happy with your life, don't forget the title of the thread. Maybe read the titles more often rather than coming in to criticize. Its a plea for help, not an invitation to put someone down.

But hey, we all have problems. Get over it.

Woe is me!!!! Just remember the only reason this whole thing came to light was because you thought your bit on the side was pregnant. How long would you have continued doing the dirt on your girlfriend if this was not the case. Your girlfriend is victim in this no one else.

dublingal80

Osu wrote: »

If that's a dig at me, thank you for the input. The more people pass comments, the more I begin to not care. I cheated, no excuses. I have had to face my music. I'm sure you have been a moral human being all you life with no mistakes. It's too easy to judge people. Maybe look at yourself and your problems, before trying to contribute to anyone else's problems.

I'm glad your so happy with your life, don't forget the title of the thread. Maybe read the titles more often rather than coming in to criticize. Its a plea for help, not an invitation to put someone down.

But hey, we all have problems. Get over it.

no! you misunderstood me!!! the **** was basically at that girl for pretending she was pregnant to you. I cant get over that she lied... What was she gonna do, stick a pillow up her top?

dublingal80

Chinafoot wrote: »

I thought it was pretty obvious myself that dublingal80 was referring to the girl you were shagging. Hence the "what a way to learn a lesson" part.

Advice for the future. Lose the attitude.

thanks for that! its exactly what i meant

WhatWillBee

username21 wrote: »

Woe is me!!!! Just remember the only reason this whole thing came to light was because you thought your bit on the side was pregnant. How long would you have continued doing the dirt on your girlfriend if this was not the case. Your girlfriend is victim in this no one else.

Im getting the sense that a lot of people replying to this thread have themselves been cheated on and are maybe taking it out on the OP. Surprised the mods havent been all over this thread. I dont think the OP was condoning his cheating at any point so having a load of replies basically saying...'cheating is bad, you meanie' isnt really useful to anyone

Dublingal, when I read it first I thought your reply was aimed at the OP too, didnt occur to me you meant the looper lol. Id say the OP took it that way since hes already well on the defensive by the sounds of things thanks to some of the replies. Id love to know what you meant by ***** though. haha

Pillow up her top??? hahaha laughed my ass of at that. What was she actually going to do, I never thought of that, steal a baby, make a paper mache one?? haha I fear for my brother when I hear about girls like that about the place.

LegacyUser

WhatWillBee wrote: »

Im getting the sense that a lot of people replying to this thread have themselves been cheated on and are maybe taking it out on the OP. Surprised the mods havent been all over this thread. I dont think the OP was condoning his cheating at any point so having a load of replies basically saying...'cheating is bad, you meanie' isnt really useful to anyone

Dublingal, when I read it first I thought your reply was aimed at the OP too, didnt occur to me you meant the looper lol. Id say the OP took it that way since hes already well on the defensive by the sounds of things thanks to some of the replies. Id love to know what you meant by ***** though. haha

Pillow up her top??? hahaha laughed my ass of at that. What was she actually going to do, I never thought of that, steal a baby, make a paper mache one?? haha I fear for my brother when I hear about girls like that about the place.

If you get this "impression" from a lot of people then why may I ask are you quoting my post in particular. Peoples responses are nothing to do with been cheated on. People are trying to offer opinions and advice to the OP and he's getting quite defensive and somehow thinks he's the victim in all of this. No one is perfect but the OP had numerous chances to do the right thing.

1.Not cheat on his girlfriend

2. After he did it never do it again.

3. If he was hellbent on sleeping with this girl use protection so as not to catch something and give it to his girlfriend

4. Tell his girlfriend and finish with the other girl, try to regain his gfs trust.

5. When he found out this girl was "pregnant" man up and say you'll be there as a dad or at least support her decision instead of saying I want you to have an abortion

He said himself i've so many months before I have to tell people aka if I can persuade her to have an abortion before she starts to show my gf need never know.

dublingal80

WhatWillBee wrote: »

Dublingal, when I read it first I thought your reply was aimed at the OP too, didnt occur to me you meant the looper lol. Id say the OP took it that way since hes already well on the defensive by the sounds of things thanks to some of the replies. Id love to know what you meant by ***** though. haha

Pillow up her top??? hahaha laughed my ass of at that. What was she actually going to do, I never thought of that, steal a baby, make a paper mache one?? haha I fear for my brother when I hear about girls like that about the place.

I think Id get banned if i told you what ***** meant
There deffo are some crazy ladies out there

WhatWillBee

username21 wrote: »

If you get this "impression" from a lot of people then why may I ask are you quoting my post in particular. Peoples responses are nothing to do with been cheated on. People are trying to offer opinions and advice to the OP and he's getting quite defensive and somehow thinks he's the victim in all of this. No one is perfect but the OP had numerous chances to do the right thing.

1.Not cheat on his girlfriend

2. After he did it never do it again.

3. If he was hellbent on sleeping with this girl use protection so as not to catch something and give it to his girlfriend

4. Tell his girlfriend and finish with the other girl, try to regain his gfs trust.

5. When he found out this girl was "pregnant" man up and say you'll be there as a dad or at least support her decision instead of saying I want you to have an abortion

He said himself i've so many months before I have to tell people aka if I can persuade her to have an abortion before she starts to show my gf need never know.

Sorry username21, didnt mean to cause offence, I only quoted your post as an example, wasnt aimed at just you in particular.

I agree with all the points you made above, except the OP didnt come on here asking people to point out the mistakes he had already made and could do nothing about (points 1,2,3) I completely agree with point 4, which he had already done by the time of your last post. As for point 5, he has a right to an opinion in this situation. He doesnt have the right to tell her what to do, but he should be able to say that an abortion is what he would want, and if then she decides against it, then to support her without being with her. Thats irrelevant now anyway.

Of course he said himself, he has months to figure it out, which as you say was stupid. Can you imagine being in this situation everything coming tumbling down (all his own fault) hes not going to know exactly what to do straight away and needed to get his head straight, which is why Im guessing he came on here.

If I was in this situation (and Im a girl so unlikely ) of course you would just want something to come along and take it all away like it never happened, never have to tell your girlf, forget about it and move on. Of course thats what you would WANT, but of course it isnt even remotely possible.

All i was pointing out in my post was telling him what he did wrong when he already knows it was a little bit pointless, that was all. And as far as I can see he handled the situation in the best manner possible. He admitted his mistakes to himself and his girlfriend already. Telling him cheating is bad after the fact isnt really much help.

Anyway, hopefully the OP moves on from here and it all works out for him. I dont pity his (ex)girlfriend right now or the OP.

LegacyUser

He claims he knows it was wrong yet has an attitude with everyone who tells him so. Also if you read his posts they are laced with "im the victim" he never once said i'm so wrong my poor girlfriend how can I have done this to her or i've got some girl preggers, he seems concerned only for himself and even went as far to say "I never told lies"

Wibbs

OK yes the OP may have rasied hackles by his actions, but please let's keep the judgement or badgering to a minimum. Thanks.

Le King

1) Would I of carried on cheating on my girlfriend, if the situation was different? Probably.
2) Would I admit I cheated without this? No
3) Would I cheat on anyone after this? No
4) Have I learned from this? Yeah
5) Would I do this again? No

CASE CLOSED

I've gotten over this. The ex has a new bf, so she has gotten over it. I think everybody else can too!

Thanks.

Wibbs

The OP has his answers and thanks for all the contributions folks.