Help Needed Please

LegacyUser

Hi,

I have been with my gf now ex for 3 year. She decided to go on a break couple of weeks back so we can meet anyone we like. This is due to the fact that she doesn't feel loved and stress, on the other side same story with me. We are both young, am 22 she is 26 andwith a child.

After a week on a break she told me she is starting to really like someone else that somthing might happen. I didn't like this, so I told her how I feel and that I still love her. I want her back if she does do somthing with this other guy I don't think I would be able to go back with her. I decided that its better to just break up but still I love her and I can't see her with another man. She says she loves me aswell and she will get jealous if am with another woman. We still live together at the moment. If I do meet someone myself I will only do it to get back at her and its wrong.

So what is she playing at? why can't we get back together? I she goes with another man I will have to leave the house and move away.

What can I do?

I am so sad I can't believe it, I think am I am in LOVE.

Taltos

You might be in love - but her actions speak louder than words. To me it appears that the doesn't love you.

Cut your losses. Pack up - move out - and don't contact her again - don't even respond to her attempts to contact you.
All in all - these type of actions just speak to either - someone who is very needy or someone too cowardly to just finish it with you.
While she is looking for someone else - you are still there for her to call on.

Selfish.

Keep your self respect and walk immediately. It will be hard - but what damage will this do to you if you stay. Let her know where you stand - out that door immediately.

LegacyUser

Just to mention aswell the reason why I might not be able to take back. The person is like works with her and always tell her how beautiful she is bla bla nad that since she I dont say that lately the she is falling for the other person.

I wouldn't trust her especially when she is working with the person.

Gyalist

Womanese to English translation:

something might happen = something has already happened.

LegacyUser

I feel so distroyed. I am so confused, I am in pain yet so so angry. I don't mind if she goes off with a stranger but the person she works with. What if we get back together and she starts feeling on loved would she run to another guy that tells her she is beautiful? I can't ganrantuee I would always compliment her every day or never take her for granted once in a while. I am only human.

Peggypeg

I would be walking right now, this woman is using you and treating you like crap and SHE DOES NOT LOVE YOU, there's no way you can treat someone the way she's treated you if you love them. How dare she say she wants to break up and then keep you around in case she changes her mind, she's probably loving the drama as well.

Walk away, no contact whatsoever, you can defo do better than that.

Peggypeg

Gyalist wrote: »

Womanese to English translation:

something might happen = something has already happened.

Are you always this offensive? Cop on.

kittenkiller

I think that what you have described has to be one of the most f'd up situations I've ever heard of!

You're still living together, refusing to admit you don't love each other yet seeing other people "for a few weeks", while being openly jealous of the other party's extra-relationship partners.

Unless an open relationship is on the cards, I'd run for the hills.
She's not behaving in a way that shows she loves you.
She's having her cake and eating it regardless of the hurt it's causing you.

Sorry OP, but you'd be far better off finding someone new and forgetting your current partner.

Wagon

Peggypeg wrote: »

Are you always this offensive? Cop on.

He's right. More often than not, this seems to be the case. It probably is with the current situation.

Wibbs

While I broadly agree with Gyalist's take I would add that while something may not have happened yet it would sound to be on the cards.

I also have to add, you're with your girlfriend 3 years and you think you're in love? I would have thought you would have known that early enough in the game. I dunno but that bit stood out for me.

AnonoBoy

After a week on a break she told me she is starting to really like someone else that somthing might happen

She most likely met him before the break, liked him before the break and this guy is the reason for the break.

Breaks? On a break? What's the point in it? It's nonsense for people who are too cowardly to tell someone they've decided to jump ship.

My advice OP would be pack up and get the hell out. If the girl is running things past you vis a vis getting with other guys then the whole thing will just lead to misery.

If after three years she's confused about you because of a guy she 'just' met then I would say hedge your bets and just start the moving on process already.

Wibbs

AnonoBoy wrote: »

She most likely met him before the break, liked him before the break and this guy is the reason for the break.

I have to say I agree with this in the vast majority of situations. Have seen that one time and time again and have been on the recieving end of it once too. I didn't spot it for what it was in my case as it was more subtle "I love you but I do notice other guys". Big deal I thought, I mean I noticed other women. Biiig mistake on my part and not one I would repeat. In that case the translation was "I have the horn for a particular guy" and sure enough a week later she snogged him. Then came the "I love you but.../Im confused/We need a break" :rolleyes: If she's already pulling the break stuff then I would say someone else is in play. I'd bet the farm on it.

Breaks? On a break? What's the point in it? It's nonsense for people who are too cowardly to tell someone they've decided to jump ship.

In the majority of cases I agree. I have known couples to take an actual break but I could count those on the fingers of one hand that has been involved in an industrial accident.

My advice OP would be pack up and get the hell out. If the girl is running things past you vis a vis getting with other guys then the whole thing will just lead to misery.

Agreed.

If after three years she's confused about you because of a guy she 'just' met then I would say hedge your bets and just start the moving on process already.

Very common time. It was the same time in my example. 3 years. the time where issues that have been ignored come up and more often than not simple sexual boredom. The three years you had are easily trumped by horniness.

I would walk if I were you OP. I would be shocked if she's going to magically switch back to you. Not unless this other guy(and I would swear there is another guy, even if nothing happened yet) drops her. If you do want her back then walking ahead of her bailing will increase not decrease the chance of that. I doubt it'll be worth it though longterm.

LegacyUser

To make things worse I know the guy. I checked her phone and he has been texting her before we went on a break and now we are over. I took no notice of this I was like lol. He knows she has a bf and yet apparently text her when he is drunk? Its her boss by the way!

If we get back together the trust is just gone because she will still be seeing this guy. they both will be working late my mind will go around. I thought the honey moon days were over a long time ago. If I want sex its always a force and off course I get angry when I dont get sex am young and horny.

The trust is what means everything and now its dieing I feel like S**t. I always thought I was the heart breaker, I am good looking but I want no one else but her. :(

Taltos

CrazyLegs8891 wrote: »

If we get back together (

OP - stop this kind of thinking.
Whether you want to accept it or not this relationship is finished.
Probably nothing happened while you were together - except his texting.
But - now she is free abeit on a break - consider all bets off.

Pack up now and move out.
Don't go back there. Having done this to you once she will do this again more than likely. In fact - you should be happy in the thought that more than likely having lured you from a relationship in a few years she will find she cannot trust this guy either.

But for now - only one message for you - well 2 - Pack up and Leave now...

Wagon

CrazyLegs8891 wrote: »

To make things worse I know the guy. I checked her phone and he has been texting her before we went on a break and now we are over. I took no notice of this I was like lol. He knows she has a bf and yet apparently text her when he is drunk? Its her boss by the way!(

Some people have no respect for other's relationships and her boss is a díckhead for that, plain and simple.

However, all she has to do is say no and refuse his advances and he should back off. If she said that and he continued she could report him to his superiors and if needs be, lodge a legal complaint about harressment in the workplace. But she didn't and this is the reason you should be getting out of this relationship because she obviously likes him and wants to take things further.

Leave as soon as you can and never go back to her. She's handling this like a complete idiot and it's destroying you. Usually when people are 26 they don't act like their 17 and it'll do you absolutely no favours in waiting around.

LegacyUser

Her child is not gonna know whats what when he/she grows up if she's different people coming and going and you living with her, Daddy not on the picture.

Wibbs

Wagon wrote: »

But she didn't and this is the reason you should be getting out of this relationship because she obviously likes him and wants to take things further.

Exactly. Men and women have little problem in telling people to back off or at least make sure they dont get the wrong end of the stick. Now him being her boss could complicate it if she felt threatened, but I reckon that's not very likely at all.

Wagon

Wibbs wrote: »

Now him being her boss could complicate it if she felt threatened, but I reckon that's not very likely at all.

Agreed. Considering the strict legalities of today's working envoirnment if she felt threatened, she would have complained and it would be taken very seriously and could result him him losing his job. Harressment is looked upon very severly i think. But this definately isn't harressment considering what she's been telling the OP, all the more reason for him to pack up and run a mile.