on the subject of my girlfriend saying she hates me:

james.xix

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Look you just sound exactly like my ex. I got stressed out over long distance and studies. However he took it very serious. I had one bad day and it was the end of the world in his eyes. He rang my parents and a colleague/friend, because he felt sorry for me and wanted to help me for my well being. However he wanted to make sure that everybody saw he was the good guy!! That if he walked away people would think he was still mr.nice, mr. he is too nice for her etc. My relatives joked at a wedding, dont mess this up! He put that down to me having messed up previous relationships, however he was my 1st serious boyfriend. I joked, and said that it was because id never introduced a boyfriend to my family. He still didnt let it go. When he 1st met my mam, he told me, ah she really thinks im nice and good for you. I told this to my mam, and she thought it was very creepy. And really disliked him after that comment. My parents found him very immature. My friends liked him at first, but when I told them about the way he treated me, they thought he was an obsessive control freak who was destroying any ounce of confidence I had. I went onto dating websites after and he tried to destroy my image on all of these.

Any previous relationship for him seemed to ended in arguements. All his ex's seemed to have ended with fighting over something, how they drove or something stupid. He also told me how he had arguements with his sister and left her crying. It would be something trivial about a new car she was buying. She wanted new toyota, he said it was wrong and she was stupid to buy it. Ive never had an arguement like this with my brother or any of my family. Yet i found myself on an emotional rollarcoaster with him. He was completely arongant, and thought he was the best thing since slice bread. Also would blow his own trumpet about how everyone thought he was a nice guy. In reality people contacted me and said he was the most rude person they ever met.

Everything you put forward just resonants him! I dont know you so I cannot paint you with the same brush, but you are definitely getting there.

That your girlfriend needs help. Yeah if she does she is adult enough to get it. Not from you or from family. There are many other people on here looking for advice and we have lives to live too, so we cant respond to every single comment you make. We already put forward ideas, but like my ex you come across as very one track mind and still trying to change her. Forget it, get someone who will get on with you. Shes not glass she will survive and doesnt need somebody who is patronising her or comparing how great they are compared to her negative attributes.

Everyone has bad days, it’s true.
I never talked to any of my gf’s family or friends about her. I have mates I can talk to about things that bother you.
Your ex should not have done what he did. It’s probably not my place to say but he should not ahve rang your parents like that.
I’ve no interest in the good guy. My gf and I were to meet her sister one day but her sister changed plans. She wanted to meet another time but I didn’t go along with it because of work commitments. It might have reflected badly on me in a way but I had work to do and that was that. My gf was understanding of that, and that was good of her.
I didn’t walk away from the relationship to be a good guy or anything like that. I was so we could both get on with our lives. A few days after ending I met some other girl got her number and was just getting to know her. It was a bit too soon to get involved with anyone else, I was just getting on with my life.
I’ve never commented on my ex’s previous relationship or that this and that was why they broke up. If her one of her other relationships had worked out we would not have gotten together in the first place. She actually pointed out a reason why another relationship of mine ended, I’m not going to comment on it, but again it’s something she’s done like your ex and not me.
I got on well with my gf’s dad but not her mum at first. My gf hinted that to me but I said, I’m my own person people tend to like me or not and it wouldn’t bother me. It seemed to mean a lot to my gf though that I would get on with her family. I’m sure it is good but I think it’s best I be myself and people either like it or they don’t. I seem to get on ok with her parents anyway and she does with mine. She was mad eager as well to meet my aunts and more relatives. I’m easy going about meeting hers. If something comes up that I do, that’s all well and good.
What your ex said about your mam does sound creepy, there’s no call for that. He either likes you or he doesn’t. I like my gf but there does not seem to be any logic for her shouting.
My gf’s sister knows the reason behind the break-up, she was happy for my gf when we got back, as were other relatives according to my gf who she says have described me as a nice lads. It’s not for me to comment on or say so I won’t.
When we broke up I wished my gf all the best. I didn’t say anything hurtful or anything like that.
Previous relationships of mine havent’ always ended in arguments. While I was broken up from my gf, I bumped into my previous gf and we spoke away grand for a few minutes.
There’s isn’t really any bad blood between me and most of my ex’s. If I saw them, some of us might talk for a bit and go about our own business.
I’ve no bad comments to make on any of my ex’s. I tend to look back on the positives and have moved on. I’ve never been in a relationship like this current one. This might be bad of me but where I would see most of my ex’s as being chilled out women, my gf is emotionally a high maintenance person.
Your ex’s comments to his sister about buying a car are crazy. My sister bought a Toyota as well and I congratulated her. My sisters, parent, aunts and uncles have commented either directly or indirectly that they think I’ve grown in to a nice young man, though not so young now I guess at the age of 27. Once again this is not my place to make or comment on this.
I’ve never had an argument like that as well with my family. My brother did alright with my parents. It was one of the worst things I ever saw, was actually on a Christmas Eve and nearly ruined Christmas for everyone. Myself and another brother took issue with him on that, I think he knows not to do it again.
I do not think I’m the best thing since sliced bread and nowhere near that. My gf has commented that I seem to talk myself down at times and that I shouldn’t. She says things like I’m handsome and I laugh it off and she says I shouldn’t. She says I’m nice and I say I can and I can’t be, I don’t claim to be an angel. I even told her of a time before I met where, which is uncharacteristic of me, I got drawn into a fight.
From what you have said about your ex, he is not a nice guy. I’d be very surprised as well to come across anyone who says he is. Yet again that might be out of place for me to say that. Sorry if I have caused any offence.
I can’t see how you would compare me to your brother. It sounds like my brother. He has bragged people see him as nice but he isn’t really a bit like your ex.
Your right, you do not know me, nor do I of you. You are painting me with the wrong brush.

Your right as well, if she needs help it is down to her. Her family do care for her as do I. When I offer advice I do suggest it might have to be taken with a pinch of salt. It’s not really my place.
I don’t like being shouted at and there has been no call for that. I have voice why not and if I’m at fault I can take the criticism of that.
I know others are looking for advice as well. I’ve thanked people for taking time on mine. I did apologise to you over the PM I sent, I didn’t run away from it.
I’m not trying to change my ex at all. If we have arguments, which couples have, I just hope we can talk things out instead of someone storming off or shouting the house down.
I was willing to move on and thought it was best. My gf wanted us to get back together, I agreed to that. I believe we might have something worth working on and resolving. If we do it is as a relationship with equals.
I’ve never been a racist or sexist. I’ve always taken people as they are. When I used to play on some mixed teams, some of the lads would never pass to the girls but I would. They likewise might then only pass to girls and me as well.
I don’t compare myself to her. I’ve told her how I can relate to her. I explained, when she asked, what worked for me. What worked for me was probably for me. She is her own woman and it’s down to her. I’m not looking to interfere but to support if she wants.

james.xix

I'm happy to leave this at this if it's gone on too long.

Thanks to everyone who have taken their time to respond.

Looks like myself and my gf will work things out, happy days!:cool:

Zaph

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