Girl doesn't shave

LegacyUser

Recently I've been seeing this girl; now she's not my girlfriend and I've no intentions of her ever being. We've been meeting up just to have sex. The problem is that she doesn't shave or even trim at all down there. I always want to please my girl in every way possible but I just find it such a turn off when I go down on her. I would love to go down on her if she did shaved it off, but how to I ask her? What do I say? Since we are not boyfriend and girlfriend, do I have a right to ask her to shave? Now I'll still go down on her even if she doesn't.

Nettie

Well, you're not going out so I don't really think it'd be the right decision to ask her to. It's her decision really and no girl should be made shave if she doesn't want to...If you were in a relationship you could ask 'cause you'd be in things together (:

Hope I helped.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Have you talked to her about it? Tell her you'll probably be able to relax and pleasure her more if she does? That or turn the shave into part of the foreplay.

shellyboo

Fcuk buddies have no say in their partner's lives or grooming habits. Don't like it? Stop seeing her.

Satyr_The_Great

If u are not seeing each other then what business is it of yours? Fair enough, u like a girl who shaves down there but do u really think its your business to ask her to shave there?
Maybe she feels more comfortable not shaving down there?
If its not your thing, and you are just meeting for sex then maybe its time you moved on to another girl and leave things as they are?

passive

To those saying he has no business not bringing it up, would it not be better to chance suggesting it than finishing with her for no reason? It's pretty possible she'd have no problem trimming a bit, and would be more put out by her f*ck buddy f*cking off for no reason.

That said, I've no idea how to raise the issue politely, and it could go very badly for you. Depends on how well you know the girl and if you've to see her again if she gets really pissed at you!

auerillo

shellyboo wrote: »

Fcuk buddies have no say in their partner's lives or grooming habits. Don't like it? Stop seeing her.

Really? Luckily I don't live in your world of makie-up rules and was in the same situation myself before. We used shaving her as part of foreplay, and it was fun.

Why do people make up rules for themselves which obviously don't apply to others, and then offer bad advice which suggests their personal rules are universal?

tbh

Should I ask wrote: »

Since we are not boyfriend and girlfriend, do I have a right to ask her to shave? .

you have the right to ask her, but if she says no, you're SOL.

finbarrk

Why are you so fussy? Aren't you lucky to be there at all.

RandolphEsq

If you're just sex buddies then say it to her. You don't want more than sex so you don't care how she reacts. Can just get another sex buddy! But most likely she won't get all uppity and narky about it if you say it in a way that is demanding. She will then feel guilty for being hairy so will shave. Since you are only sex buddies, if you phrased it in a more asking way then she might be like "he's only a sex buddy, I don't care if he thinks it would be better". Say it like you know it will be better. Woman needs to learn how to groom!

LegacyUser

auerillo wrote: »

Really? Luckily I don't live in your world of makie-up rules and was in the same situation myself before. We used shaving her as part of foreplay, and it was fun.

Why do people make up rules for themselves which obviously don't apply to others, and then offer bad advice which suggests their personal rules are universal?

^^ Agree with that 100%

Fed up with these 'one size fits all' answers that get churned out in PI.

Its entirely possible the girl is oblivious to the fact that it is turning you off. At least if she knows then she has the option.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

shellyboo wrote: »

Fcuk buddies have no say in their partner's lives or grooming habits. Don't like it? Stop seeing her.

The advice we're giving is to suggest it, not make a demand.

Peggypeg

Hey,

Just enjoying the funny answers above. I agree that there aren't any rules to do with sex, (well apart from consent and age of consent) unless you agree to them.

Speaking as a woman I wouldn't have a problem with you bringing it up as long as you do so sensitively, for example don't say "here luv, you really need to shave that badger". Maybe just approach it slowly and say you really dislike hair down there and could she possible trim/shave it, also ask her if there is anything she would like you to do? You never know, your toenails/earwax etc etc could be turning her off. It really depends on how you say it to her, don't bring it up as if there's something wrong with her. Just put it that you personally dislike hair and that you would love it if she trimmed and if you think you can get away with it offer to give her a hand and "give it a test run".

seahorse

auerillo wrote: »

Really? Luckily I don't live in your world of makie-up rules and was in the same situation myself before. We used shaving her as part of foreplay, and it was fun.

Why do people make up rules for themselves which obviously don't apply to others, and then offer bad advice which suggests their personal rules are universal?

If I had a F-Buddy who reckoned I was "not my girlfriend and I've no intentions of her ever being" you can be sure I'd take Shellyboo's line on the matter. I'm pretty sure most women would.

auerillo

seahorse wrote: »

If I had a F-Buddy who reckoned I was "not my girlfriend and I've no intentions of her ever being" you can be sure I'd take Shellyboo's line on the matter. I'm pretty sure most women would.

And you are quite free to take it! What I think is funny is that you seem to assume that, if you make that rule for yourself, then it applies to others also!

It's silly to make the assumption that she will react in the same way as you would, and the OP would be better advised to find out for himself, rather than not bother to ask!!

Barracudaincork

Maybe the girl keeps herself groomed when she is in a relationship, but as you are just her **** buddy, she cant be bothered with all that maintainance and she figures if you dont like it, you can run along.

LegacyUser

I'd be raging if my fb brought this up. What I chose to do with my body is MY business and no one else's. If he didn't like it he could sling his hook.
Having said that, I like a shaved bush...but that also applies to men!
So mate, before you launch in there and ask a question you shouldn't, maybe you should do some grooming yourself (if you don't already) as that's likely what she'll come back at you with.

seahorse

auerillo wrote: »

And you are quite free to take it! What I think is funny is that you seem to assume that, if you make that rule for yourself, then it applies to others also!

Since I know the personalities and temperaments of the women close to me in my life I can make a pretty safe bet as to what they'd say in this situation, and I think it's unlikely that the women I know are not generally representative of women.

auerillo wrote: »

It's silly to make the assumption that she will react in the same way as you would, and the OP would be better advised to find out for himself, rather than not bother to ask!!

It's not certain that she'd tell him that her bush is her own business, but if Paddy Power was taking money on it I know which way I'd be betting!

magneticimpulse

I didnt know women are "meant" to shave down there!! (i do, but nobody ever told me, personal choice for swimming). Its really a personal choice and i think its very rude to demand that she does. She should like her the way she is.

My ex used to shave his bits and i have to say it was very gay. He kept asking if i liked it, and my response was, well I would prefer it natural and bushy, but if you want to shave its up to you.

Do you shave your bits? If not, if she asked you, would you shave your bits? Some people cant be bothered to shave it everyday, as I know it can get very itchy if you dont.

magneticimpulse

oh and does the girl know your just fbuddies? maybe you should clear that up too.

james.xix

Should I ask wrote: »

Recently I've been seeing this girl; now she's not my girlfriend and I've no intentions of her ever being. We've been meeting up just to have sex. The problem is that she doesn't shave or even trim at all down there. I always want to please my girl in every way possible but I just find it such a turn off when I go down on her. I would love to go down on her if she did shaved it off, but how to I ask her? What do I say? Since we are not boyfriend and girlfriend, do I have a right to ask her to shave? Now I'll still go down on her even if she doesn't.

If I was in your shoes I'd hope she would shave as well.

It is a hard one, she is her own woman and could be very danger territory suggesting she shaves.

You need to be careful though the way you approach this.

Does she read any magazines which might mention something about it.

I'd drop subtle hints before saying something on the subject.

LegacyUser

People, theyre FB. Whats the big deal with saying 'oh shed be so insulted and hurt if she knew he was saying theyre not going out, and never will be'. Theyre not meant to be going out. They enjoy each other in bed. My FB could do with some maintenance. I enjoy going down when its shaved but hate it when not. So for her sake, Id bring up the subject.

He never said he was going to 'demand' it. As 50% of the pleasuring couple, FOR HER PLEASURE, I think he does have a right to bring it up. Its in her best interest and I think he's being a nice guy if he does bring it up.

james.xix

leavehimalone wrote: »

People, theyre FB. Whats the big deal with saying 'oh shed be so insulted and hurt if she knew he was saying theyre not going out, and never will be'. Theyre not meant to be going out. They enjoy each other in bed. My FB could do with some maintenance. I enjoy going down when its shaved but hate it when not. So for her sake, Id bring up the subject.

He never said he was going to 'demand' it. As 50% of the pleasuring couple, FOR HER PLEASURE, I think he does have a right to bring it up. Its in her best interest and I think he's being a nice guy if he does bring it up.

CIt couldbut what' s if goes down badly.
He'll be without a FB and where'll he be then.

Not everyone has the happy knack of coming across a FB, fair play if you do!;)

implausible

The vast majority of women do not like being asked to change their bodies, by any man. It's not like she's hairy all over. Approaching a gf or wife on this subject would be dodgy enough territory, but asking someone you're not in a relationship with is just cheeky.

Do your pubes bother her? Would you shave them if she asked? If you're willing to do it for her, then you could ask her to.

She's a grown woman, she has made a decision whether to shave or not. I very much doubt that she would take kindly to a f*ck buddy telling her what to do with her body. She might ditch him completely. If he's prepared for that, sure, let him go ahead and ask.

james.xix

[quote=[Deleted User];63385427]She's a grown woman, she has made a decision whether to shave or not. I very much doubt that she would take kindly to a f*ck buddy telling her what to do with her body. She might ditch him completely. If he's prepared for that, sure, let him go ahead and ask.[/QUOTE]

Probably a fair point, it's not really an FB's position to ask.

If she was his gf and it was affecting them it'd be ok. If he then didn't go down on her puch they could talk why.

Toots

I think if you were BF and GF, then you could sensitively tell her that you found the hair a turn off. However seeing as you guys are just FBs, I wouldn't outrightly tell her 'I want you to shave cos you're too hairy down there', but maybe as part of foreplay, you could steer things towards sharing what turns you on etc, and you could mention it then (obviously mention a few other things first, so it doesn't seem really planned). If she picks up on what you're saying and asks would you like her to get waxed or whatever, tell her only if she's comfortable with it. It might also be nice if you asked her was there anything she'd like you to sort out with yourself too, give and take etc.

LegacyUser

Hey guys, OP here. Thanks very much for your advice. I think the general consensus is that it would be rude to ask her. How many of you's saying I should not ask her to shave are girls (no offense guys but I think it is better to get a girls advise more on this, thou I love your contributions). I would still like to hear more advice. If I was to ask her, how would I say it? I would love to I wouldn't want to offend her.

Let me give you an update. We dont know each other that well. Maybe had sex about 5-6 times. We've met on occassions where we didnt have sex. Also, we never actually said "we are f*ck buddies". There MIGHT (not saying she is) actually be a glimmer there that she would like to be my girlfriend. She hasn't suggested anything its just that she occassionally sends me messages just to chat. I've never had an actual FB before, sex tended to be one-nighters or with GF so I don't know when the fun is over and feelings start to begin. Honestly, I dont think she likes me but she doesn't have strong feelings. I think she is also happy with the arrangement.

shellyboo

auerillo wrote: »

Really? Luckily I don't live in your world of makie-up rules and was in the same situation myself before. We used shaving her as part of foreplay, and it was fun.

Why do people make up rules for themselves which obviously don't apply to others, and then offer bad advice which suggests their personal rules are universal?

Hang on a tick - are you suggesting that any man I have sex with has the right to dictate how I keep my pubic hair? Because all I was suggesting was that he does not.

All I said was, he has no say. He can make a polite request, sure... but to tell her to do it because it's a turn-off for him is out of line. Why should she give a crap what's a turn on for him? She's his FB, not his gf.

If there's something about her that turns him off, he can just stop sleeping with her ffs.

Bottle_of_Smoke

I'd say requesting it is running the risk she''ll stop having sex with you.

I'd say safest option is shave your own and she might follow suit. Maybe suggest watching porn and hope she mentions the shaven vag and say you like it.

james.xix

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

I'd say requesting it is running the risk she''ll stop having sex with you.

I'd say safest option is shave your own and she might follow suit. Maybe suggest watching porn and hope she mentions the shaven vag and say you like it.

Ya, agree.

His best hope is that she mentions something about it.

Of course he could always touch on the subject, especially during pillow talk after or something.

He could always just ask has she ever shaven it and what did she think if it but not jump in saying he'd want her to shave.

LegacyUser

james.xix wrote: »

He could always just ask has she ever shaven it and what did she think if it but not jump in saying he'd want her to shave.

perfect way to bring it up..nobody can assume what her reaction or response would be. What's the worse that can happen?

seraphimvc

lightly bring it up to her i'd suggest,do it in a naughty flirting way.nowadays is kinda normal that people who are sexually active tend to shave/trim abit down there (from my experience anyway).

if it doesnt really turns you off that bad imo if i were you i will just leave it:D considering why risk it if she is actually very hot and good in bed?

LegacyUser

As a girl myself I can't understand it (wanting to have a hairy bush) AT ALL from an aesthetic point of view.

OP. Even if she is otherwise really hot, its just such a turn off....why bother....

It shows a sort of obliviousness and lack of empathy which in itself is very unattractive.

I'd say ditch her.

LegacyUser

As a girl, I would be very offended if a FB I had had sex with only 5-6 times asked me to shave. I don't think you really have the right to ask me to shave for you. If I wanted to shave, I would've done it already.

By the way, I personally HATE shaving. I also think it's a lot easier for guys to shave down there than it is for girls!! However, when I was with my boyfriend I shaved all the time down there because I knew he liked it. I remember talking to him about it and he found out that I thought it was annoying having to shave and he said not to feel like I have to. I still did it anyway for him, but I think this is the correct attitude to have - it's HER privates and it's HER who has to go through the pain of it and HER who has to put up with the uncomfortableness/itchiness when it grows back.

I prefer guys to be hairless down there aswell but I don't expect it at all...certainly not from a FB anyway!!

Out of curiosity, does she trim at all and if she did trim would that be enough for you or do you think she should shave?

JangoFett

Should I ask wrote: »

Recently I've been seeing this girl; now she's not my girlfriend and I've no intentions of her ever being. We've been meeting up just to have sex. The problem is that she doesn't shave or even trim at all down there. I always want to please my girl in every way possible but I just find it such a turn off when I go down on her. I would love to go down on her if she did shaved it off, but how to I ask her? What do I say? Since we are not boyfriend and girlfriend, do I have a right to ask her to shave? Now I'll still go down on her even if she doesn't.

Say it to her, you're not going out or anything so you're not really risking anything

Also, take care of yourself "down there", it'll be a nice hint

LegacyUser

Hey guys, OP here, thanks for the advice, I think I may just give her the hint. I know some people think it may be rude. I would really like her to shave and I think she'll have a better time if she did too. Plus, I wouldn't be too bothered if I we didn't see each other any more so I don't have much to lose.

No she doesn't even trim down there. It smells alot worse when there is hair around. The smell kinda lingers when someone doesn't shave.