opinions needed

LegacyUser

hi guys.. firstly thanks for reading and apologies in advance...

okay well my problem is im 30 and well never ever had a realtionship.. just the odd one night stands here and there and in the past have missed the boat alot.. i guess my problem can be summed up as follows:

i'm 30 never had a gf, now theres a girl getting close too recently but having trouble wondering really is this it... shes like 8 years younger but thats not the problem its that going from what she has said shes had alot of experience, also has alot of male friends and well is into some things that dont interest me in the slightest (eg going to oxygen and stuff like that). additionally well sexually I'm not that experienced and well in essence sex doesnt last that long when it does occur

With this in mind is it
a) Pointless even trying to develop a relationship beyond 'friends' if there is even the chance?
b) Should I ignore the differences in relationship experience - will she expect that because Im older I should be more experienced etc
c) Should I not be concerned that she has so many other male friends or that I may be over analysing the extent of the friendship
d) Am I worrying too much about sexual performance?

Apologies again and thanks in advance again for any advice.

kittenkiller

unreggie43 wrote: »

With this in mind is it
a) Pointless even trying to develop a relationship beyond 'friends' if there is even the chance?

Of course not, if you're interested in her and she's interested in you and it's legal, go for it!
It takes all sorts to make the world go round and if you look at the other couples you know, each of them will be different age-wise.

b) Should I ignore the differences in relationship experience - will she expect that because Im older I should be more experienced etc

Defintiely ignore them! Everyone on the planet has different relationship experience. Even couples who have only been in a relationship with each other have had different experiences. The one rule to go by beyond anything else is to respect yourself and your partner. You can't go too far wrong following that.

c) Should I not be concerned that she has so many other male friends or that I may be over analysing the extent of the friendship

At least you know that she'll be easy to talk to and understanding of your need to watch football for as long as possible over the weekend.
Friends are friends and until you find some evidence to the contrary, don't torture yourself over-thinking things.

d) Am I worrying too much about sexual performance?

Even guys who have had sex thousands of times can be crap.
Don't worry about it.
Talk things through if you think it will help.
Do what you can to relax yourself and her beforehand and try to enjoy things as much as you can! (That part shouldn't be an issue )

Soul Stretcher

I'm not at all dissimilar to yourself OP - experience wise.

I read your post and here is my opinion.

Missing the boat has become habitual for you. You miss the boat because you over-analyse/talk yourself out of taking action. I do it myself.

All those questions you pose, in my mind, are just you preparing yourself to miss the boat yet again in December 2009.

None of your questions should stop you from pursuing a relationship with this girl if you like her.

GO FOR IT.

Good Luck.

Overheal

Like you may have already found with everything else in life, nothing will ever be perfect. nothing will ever be just right. The same thing applies to relationships. You will never find what youve cooked up in your head. It doesnt exist. The reason you are waiting around is because you are waiting for most/all of those conditions to be met up front. You need to stop looking at a relationship like a Purchase of a new TV and just dive in. Be impulsive. Put yourself out there.