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Feeling sad

  • 05-12-2009 11:07am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Ok, I know I am not the only one and I know you will probably hear this so much around this time of year, but I need to write this down and ask for help or guidance please.

    This is the first Christmas in 5 years that I am without my boyfriend, who is now my ex. I am being honest in that even though we have split ( his decision ) he has kept in contact with me to some degree. I have not text him or anything and then he goes at me saying stuff like where have you been and what have you been doing etc. This is not the reason why I am writing this it is because this is my first Christmas without him and I do feel lonely and cry sometimes about the way things went.

    I only have one friend, but she is engaged and living happily with her fiance and I have not seen her for ages as she is always busy, I can understand that.

    I have not got my ex out of my system and I still do have feelings for him but its getting to me so much that I try to stir clear of any communication but it seems to backfire on me and I end up texting him.

    I don't have a lot of funds for things right now and money is very tight. I am just making payments on things that I need. Anything extra just has to wait. I do work. I am just so tired of it all that I made a decision to move next year and give myself a fresh start. I am unhappy at the moment and the companionship I had with my ex I miss very much.
    I am sorry this is so long but needed to express my feelings honestly. I know you will tell me to cut all communication with him, but if I don't text him he will contact me. Oh and just incase you ask, no I don't have a family I can turn too. Both my parents are deceased and have no living close relative.

    If you can give me some guidance please. Thanks in advance.


Comments

  • #2
    Kevster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,980 ✭✭✭Kevster


    Hey,

    You have the right attitude regarding a 'no contact' approach with your ex. If you genuinely wish to just move on from him, then perhaps just change your number and/or don't even read his messages anymore (just delete them straightaway) and regard him as 'deleted' from your life. Many people have to reinvent their lives after a breakup, but it can be a positive thing where we have the ooportunity to refocus what we want to be doing and where we'd like to be going (in our lives).

    I've hated every christmas for the past few years too because I've had no girlfriend. The positive in your case is that you still clearly have a determination to not be alone, and you should eventually find another guy. For this Christmas, however, try to see it as a relaxing time where you can just reorganise things in your life. Like I have implied already, sometimes a lot of readjustments have to be made after a break-up.

    Regarding what you could actually do over Christmas, I don't suggest sitting at home each day. Perhaps you could contact a volunteering agency to see what helpful things can be done over Christmas. You could volunteer at a homeless shelter, for example, or do other things.

    In every negative, there are positives.

    Kevin


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