What should i do?

LegacyUser

My parents split up 5 years ago and both have since moved on and found new partners, who they both got engaged to, both of them seemed to be happy until a couple of weeks ago.

My father called me one day and told me that he gave my number to a woman who was having computer problems and would be ringing me for some help. No problem at all i replied. Then he said to me that i couldnt mention this woman around his fiance. Naturally i asked why. His reply was that its not working out and he was bailing after christmas. When i asked why and he said that he would tell me face to face and it wasn't something he wanted to talk about over the phone, which i understood.

His next comment really brought it home to me as to what was going on. He told me that when the woman called me i was not to mention anything about his finace and if asked i was to say that he was living with my sister until after christmas!!

So neither of them know about each other and he is basically going to say to his fiance one day that he is leaving or he just walks out and says nothing.

Now i know what is happening to both women is bad but my main and only concern is my dads fiance. She is a lovely woman and no one deserves to be treated this way and what makes it worse is that she bought a house a year ago for the two of them and bought him a new car in May on HP.

Now i'm going to have to give you some background on why my parents split up. Basically he remortgaged our house 3 times and my mother bought him a car on HP along with numerous other loans all of which he was supposed to be paying for. He is a gambling addict and nothing was paid for and my mother left when the house was repossessed. So it looks that he is going to do the same to his fiance but she won't see it coming. She doesn't work so she won't be able to pay for anything.

Next week is his birthday and there are a few of us going out for dinner and drinks to celebrate. Its been planned for months and paid for.

How can i go and pretend everything is ok? I told my sister and she is more than likely going to stay at home.

More importantly if i tell her, she will kick my dad out and he really wouldn't have anywhere to go at christmas (at the end of the day he is still my dad). If i don't tell her i'm just as bad as he is. I really need some help here.

I'm sorry if its long winded and might be hard to follow but my head is fried thinking about this and i put in all the facts as best i could.

merlie

Hello Op,

Sorry to hear about your predicament. Your dad should not have put you in this position and being 'piggy' in the middle is not a nice thing to happen to you. You need to speak to your dad again and tell him to sort out his mess and that you do not want his fiancée hurt over this. He has a gambling problem that needs to be addressed. Contact gamblers anon for assistance.

The fact that he wants to leave her after Christmas with debts is disgraceful and what he really needs is a short sharp shock. You need to step up to the mark or these kind of problems won't stop.

Your father's girlfriend needs to know asap about the situation but you must speak with your dad as it is unfair on you and his girlfriend and there is no point in putting things on the long finger so to speak, cos they WILL happen and things will get messy again for your dad.